Last week on Monday Night Raw, The New Day introduced us to their busted up, bedazzled refrigerator box, time machine. The comedy bit was to build up their Extreme Rules match with The Vaudevillains (which The New Day won of course). As funny as that was, the boys should have used their machine and taken us back to the early '90s.

The early '90s bring back memories of going to my local 7-11 store, pocket full of quarters, buying a hot dog, then planting myself in front of the arcades for the rest of the day (pretty wild kid, huh?!). Those were the years when 8-bit and 16-bit games ruled our lives.

Considering the technology cornucopia we now live in, you might be rolling your eyes thinking that this is a “Back in my day” piece. Too bad. It kinda is.  Wrestling video games today—like WWE 2K16—are visually amazing and detailed with their gameplay and storytelling. That being said, the games are BORING. They aren’t fun and lack that magic you had playing wrestling games in arcades or on your old Nintendo.

So going old school, we rummage through the discount section of the video game aisle and pick out 5 retro favorites.

Player 1, choose a wrestler.

WWF WrestleFest (1991 - Technos)

We start off with what many consider the best wrestling game of all-time. For me, it’s the “Bigfoot" of arcade machines, in that it was elusive to find and play. I never saw it in an arcade or pizzeria. Rumors of its locations would lead my friends and me to random laundromats or liquor stores. When we did track it down, we’d lose our allowances playing it.

This arcade hit is actually a sequel to 1989’s WWF Superstars (also made be Technos). WrestleFest was leaps and bounds better than anything seen up to that point. The wrestlers looked and moved like their flesh and bone counterparts. Competitors had their trademark finishers (e.g. The Million Dollar Dream & The Perfect-Plex) and the roster was stacked. From Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior, to Sgt. Slaughter and Demolition, you could play as your Saturday Morning favorites (The Legion Doom was a bonus Boss tag team).

The graphics and sounds pulled you right in, letting you choose from two game modes: Saturday Night’s Main Event (tag team play) and Royal Rumble (battle royal play). A kid couldn’t have imagined a better wrestling game as it had everything, including video scenes with “Mean Gene” Okerlund!

Pro Wrestling (1986 - Nintendo)

“A Winner is You!” is the popular phrase this game is best known for. Meme’s and artwork have been created for this quirky, broken English affirmation.

Nintendo

Looking past that cult appeal, the collection of cool, fictionalized wrestlers is what made the game really fun. You could be Fighter Hayabusa, The Amazon (a Creature from the Black Lagoon knockoff) or King Slender (a Ric Flair knockoff). But by far, the best wrestler was Starman, a Mexican Luchador decked out out in an all pink spandex suit, with a blue star across his face. He was part superhero, part M.U.S.C.L.E. toy figure. Starman eventually took human form in a Pro Wrestling Syndicate match:

Wrestling fans today might recognize the retro Nintendo box art, as John Cena paid homage to it by having his “8-Bit” authentic t-shirt designed in its style.

WrestleMania Challenge (1990 - Acclaim Entertainment)

If you hated Nintendo’s 1989 WWF WrestleMania offering, then this follow-up game tried to make amends with better AI and gameplay. This was the best 8-bit option for any home console before the business switched to 16-bit.  

During those NES graphic lean years, if your fighter did anything more than the typical punch and kick, you were a happy camper. WrestleMania Challenge allowed you to do a variety of wrestling moves (including some finishers), as well attack from the top turnbuckle and continue fighting outside the ring.

But the sweet spot of the game was the chip music. As you went through the roster of wrestling legends such as The Ultimate Warrior, Rick Rude and “Macho Man” Randy Savage, each wrestler’s theme song played during the match. Those synthesized electronic tunes would get lodged in your head for days…dammit now I’m whistling Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake’s theme!

Saturday Night Slam Masters (1993 - Capcom)

Known for fighting games like Street Fighter, Capcom jumped into the wrestling ring with this 16-bit entry for the Super Nintendo & Sega Genesis. To say I played this game many a school night, would be an understatement. Slam Masters beautifully merged the worlds of professional wrestling and arcade beat-‘em-up games.

With the current popularity of shared universes (with brands like Marvel & DC), the wrestlers here inhabit the same Capcom world as the characters found in Street Fighter and Final Fight. The Mayor of the World, Mike Haggar, a main character in Final Fight, appears as playable character.

For being a non-WWF/WCW title, a cool twist is that the cast of characters are loosely-based on wrestlers from that era such as Vader (“Alexander the Grater”) and The Great Muta (“The Great Oni").

WrestleMania The Arcade Game (1995 - Midway)

Barely edging out WWF Royal Rumble (SNES) for the last spot is the “New Generation” game. Midway in the early '90s was making tons of money on Mortal Kombat and NBA Jam, two games that used real, digitized subjects instead of traditional animated graphics. Rolling with the Golden Goose, that same technology was used in capturing the likenesses of WWF superstars like Bret “The Hitman” Hart and The Undertaker.

The game style was slapstick and over the top, as each wrestler had specialized cartoony attacks—Doink the Clown would hit you with a mallet, while Razor Ramon’s hand would turn into a blade. The arcade style, along with the fun wrestling action, created an addictive hit with gamers.

We also got Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler providing commentary for the game, which was a first.