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  • ok so students! they love to get drunk. so do people who visit student bars, because they're so cheap
    but let me tell you something
    you should throw up IN the toilet, not on the floor next to it
    if you're going to shit yourself because you've drank too much, please DONT leave your dirty boxers on the bar
    if you think you're going to be 'MORTAL' after one fish bowl, you sir, are mistaken, those things are designed to take your money, it's mainly ice and soda water in there
    when trying your best pick up line then being a dick when you're turned down - pleas hurl abuse at us and spill your pint of sticky cider all over the bar and down my uniform... cunt
    when asked to leave at the end of the night, don't try the whole 'but I know the manager' crap
    of course you know our manager, he's one of the people forced to serve bums like you tonight... I know the manager too... same rule for everyone bucko
    'do you sell beer?' - genuine question
    no mate this is a Florist
    'what can I get for .....£2?'
    a burger and a pack of chewies? go home moron it's 2am
    the man that asked me and 2 girls for a three some while one of the girls boyfriends and the manager where stood next to him! get out you moron, you're barred
    don't get me wrong, some customers are nice and funny and worth the time of day to talk to
    like the 3 brothers who I see on a Saturday, 'two shots of sambucca and a shot of water... he won't know the difference he's already hammered ;)'
    the man who drinks Guinness and talks about his day then tells the exact same pun joke every time
    the lady who brings her grandson in during the day for his lunch and watch LCFC play on the tv
    he always has sausage beans and chips and she has a pie
    always worth talking to
    .....

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