I've gone far into the rabbit's hole........ I don't think I can find my way out

You know it has gonna pretty bad when you can't even look at yourself in the mirror

Why do you have to treat me like a god damn child... Leave my life alone... I am not hurting anything. I a looking for a job. I am working towards having a better life I have given up a lot of things to make my life better to get away from the bad emotions. Go fucking live your life.. and stay out of mine... dammit... stop doing this pissed off this that you keep doing.. Stop it. dammit you don't even understand what I am going through and what I am trying to do to make everything better. Slowly I am getting better. Just go away.

Fuck this... Fuck this world... Fuck everyone.. no one will understand.. I'm the butt of a joke and I don't get the punchline.

Is that what I was to you? A joke?!? Some kind of person you could act like you loved in person and then behind my back make fun of me and laugh. Cheat on me and laugh about it. I take you back, and I needed you more than ever, and you wouldn't talk to me. You just told me to never talk to you again. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DID TO ME?! DO YOU EVEN KNOW? That is why I did what I did to you. That is why I made you hurt, because you hurt me. You left me alone in my darkest hour. I had no one. No one who understood how I felt, the depression. The anger that was building up inside me. You deserved to be cussed out and to be bitched out. You couldn't stand up and take the simple punishment you deserved. You cheated on me and refused to even take any kind of anger from me because of it. Because why? Because you felt sorry. It doesn't change the fact. It changes nothing. Now I cannot get you out of my head. I wish, I pray, I dream that things had been different, but they are not. I hope you are happy with the decisions

Distancing myself from anything that reminds me of my ex.. Sadly, this includes a lot of my favorite shows and games.... but some sacrifices have to be made at this time. Such things as, Any Zelda game, Skyrim, Tomb Raider, Pokemon, Red Dead Redemption, American Dad, Family Guy, Adventure Time... Just to name a few... Buffalo Wild Wings, Pizza Hut wings...I have to distance myself from or else I might just go crazy... Wish it didn't have to be like this...........