so tired , just no energy left to give , putting it all in black and white helps , good thing no one has this or id be in more trouble , why do ppl feel they have to help when they know its proberly for the better , i feel like i cant breathe here anymore , everyday i struggle , im in so much pain and struggle inside myself to just keep going , xmas is fun ...... not just reminds me every year how my family want nothing to do with me , even tho i havent actually done anything wrong , what the fuck do they want from me a god damn apology for having a baby at 16 well fuck you i wont he was the best thing i ever did in my life and he is better then all my family put together i bought up a great son with no help from you allive fought everyday , ive tried to live up to their expectations but i fail every time i dont know why , i dont belt my kids around , i have a great relationship with my kids , but yet they deserve so much more then this miserable perosn as there mother , why cant i be better , its killing me

wish i could just curl up and sleep forever never wake up , would be so much better for everyone

just need to vent , dont feel like i can be here anymore , doesnt feel right being here with kmy husband and children , i feel like im nothing but a burden to them and they would be better off with out me here