Only thing I don't like about sex.. The cleanup. Hahaha

So I guess when I was talking in my sleep last night I said I wish my girlfriend had a penis... Lmao #oops

Your girlfriend brings you breakfast in bed? Oh. Well, my girlfriend cuddles with me in the morning and we get high while we watch Disney movies. My relationship > yours.

Beautiful day. Went swimming and now laying out tanning with my corona and a pack of smokes. Thoroughly enjoying this day off.

Laying out with a smoke and couple beers and getting my tan on.. Life is good today!

Getting so fucked up toniiiiight.

Why do people try to insult others by calling them a slut? I don't give a fuck if you're a slut haha you go get that dick, girl.

"I could work my life away, but why... I got things to do before I die."

Some people are fuckin' cunts I tell ya.

"You're pushing me over the edge! Like a muffin top!"

An empty room can be so loud.