I've taken up drinking in a bad way. Started drinking and driving regularly now. Life without Kim is just so damn painful. So pitiful. I know that if I leave I'll get better. But I don't want her out of my life. I love her smile, her smell, her laugh. But she doesn't smile for me anymore, doesn't laugh for me. She doesn't want me. She doesn't want me. All I want is her. The fuck is this shit. Stop it. Just fucking leave. Leave! Leave. Dont look back. She wouldn't look back at. She has effectively ruined my life.