It would be nice to actually enjoy one thing in life. Unfortunately, the definition of happiness eludes me, despite Google searches. I am unsure I am capable of it. All I think of is going back to work, and all I look forward to is changing scenes. I am unsure if what have is peace or carelessness. I do know that my central most belief is to never favor, because I do not prefer something over another. To make a choice is to make a preference, and to prefer something is to set yourself up for possible disappointment. Having no preference is the only way to maintain this peace or carelessness, whatever it may be. Enlightenment struck me 20 years ago and ever since I have lost the clarity of meaning I had.