Through trial and error it wasn't the nitrous that caused the mental disorder. It was more the stress, the hyper tension. Now that the family business is shut downa nd the worries of my parents alleviated and some sort of hope is amongst them, things feel better.

How my pride was broken,
was done at Akane in Los Altos Hills, while training to be a sushi chef, had all of my self worth put to shame, my skills were low and the person training me was like a drill sergeant! Every move I made was watched closely, an meticulous eye was always watching, me. Shuhei Kohn, my trainer that I am still continuing at Shin Sushi at current what he taught me and how to do things. Hopefully One day I can go back to Akane and make amends with Shin Kaneoya and Francis Kaneoya.

Online Diary:
March 14, 2013 (Pi-Day)
Today is the Start of a New day. Wanting all my past to be left in my past and starting a new brighter future with higher goals.
Now understanding my abilities in life more so a realistic set of goals, rather than the proposed one that was created earlier in life.
One being money was thought to be a lot easier to earn than what is now, through experience, is a tougher challenge than first thought.
A decade ago, I was a young dreamer and thought everything I did was correct and had higher pride and sense of worth. One day all was broken and smashed into pieces, then stepped on and burnt.
In samurai terms I destroyed myself once. Killed myself experienced near death experiences, to understand life better and why we live.
Still have no clue why we live, we work and go home at least the current life I have at current. Restaurant world takes a lot out of your life, wish I had more time for myself and more income to do more and see more, to live life better!