How do we know what love is? How can we tell when we've actually felt it? For years I thought I knew what it was, how it felt. When really I was living in this fantasy. See with Brian I couldn't fight it. It was like something was pulling me in, but really I just wanted to feel something, with someone. I was desperate, and he was there. I believed his lies. Put up with his bullshit. I even let him talk me down, and look where I am now. Given I have three beautiful kids, who I wouldn't trade for the world. I've just never felt complete. I still feel like something is missing. I wanted that perfect love. You know the one where you wake up every morning and can't wait to see what the world has in store for you today. Instead I find myself pushing to get out of bed every day. Hoping today things will be different. Maybe that's my life. Maybe that's all deserve. And it hurts to feel that way. I wonder is there anyone out there who notices me. Who see my unhappiness? Who wants to save me me? Who am I? Why can't I just be happy? Does it get any better then this? I feel like I settled. Like I just gave up, and said this is where my path ends. But I don't want to end here. I want more. Can I have more?