The Depp

Who you are now: The creepy cute guy, the moody introvert who only glares at everyone in your path. You write poetry on your phone and make playlists with obscure, long-winded titles such as “There’s always money in the banana stand” and “Burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” You hate everyone, but everyone has a secret crush on you.

Who you’ll be: You’re the weird old guy who dresses in poufy top hats and wears make up. You get weirder and weirder with age. Also, since you’re old, you’re not really cute anymore. So instead of being the creepy cute guy, you’re just the creepy guy.

See what else made it into our Top 8 by visiting its official page.