"Is Myspace still a thing?" Chris Jericho asks. PSH! Are YOU still a thing, dude!?
This past Monday, Chris Jericho once again brought his semi-reoccurring interview segment “Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel” back to Raw.
This is where the segment ended up going:
But what you won’t hear in that clip is what Jericho said just before The New Day came down to the ring.
Jericho was bragging about how his appearance the previous week had “social media going crazy.”
He then went on to state: “People are Twittering, Facebooking, Vining, Pinteresting, Tindering, Myspacing.... Is that still a thing? Myspace?”
I will have you know, sir, that Myspace is indeed still a thing! That, or I’ve been living in a fantasy world for the past year, and writing articles for a website that only exists in my brain!
That’s not true, right? I mean, Myspace is actually still a thing, right? Whew, okay.
Originally, this week’s post was going to be about next week’s upcoming Royal Rumble pay-per-view event, but that all changed when Jericho decided to throw down the you-don’t-exist gauntlet!
I quickly emailed my Myspace editor Katrina (Hey, girlfriend!): “I’m changing this week’s article because Chris Jericho just questioned our very existence.” Without hesitation, she gave me the green light.
It. Was. On.
So instead of writing about surprise Royal Rumble entrants (that post will now be coming your way next week), I’ve decided to prove to you, dear readers, that Chris Jericho is no longer a thing.
Here are five facts that prove that to be true.
He Still Goes By Y2J
On August 9, 1999, Chris Jericho made his debut on Raw.
At the time, the world was in a bit of a panic over the upcoming Y2K computer problem that may or may not destroy all humanity come New Year’s Eve. Jericho became Y2J—which stands for, I guess, Year 2... Jericho?—as a play on the acronym.
The real Y2K ended up being nothing more than a faint fart of a bad joke... you know, more than fifteen years ago. Back when Bill Clinton was still president, SpongeBob SquarePants and Family Guy were debuting on television, and Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace had just come out in theaters. What was the best-selling Christmas toy of 1999? A Pokémon video game for Nintendo 64!
Yet to this day, Chris Jericho still uses Y2J as his nickname. That’s like a wrestler who goes by the nickname The Cuban Missile Crisis!
He Has a Light-Up Jacket
Hey, Chris Jericho, Joseph called. He wants his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat back.
He’s in a Heavy Metal Band...Called Fozzy
You’re in a heavy metal band called Fozzy, Chris Jericho?!
That’s crazy, because I’m in a death metal band called The Swedish Chef!
Can we open for you guys at Muppetpalooza next year?!? Børk, børk, børk
(NOTE TO THE MUPPET NERDS: Yes, I’m well aware that Fozzie Bear is spelled differently, but cut me some slack here, okay? I’m trying to convince people that Chris Jericho is not relevant anymore and don’t have the time nor the energy to argue over spelling differences.)
Fortysomething guys in heavy metal bands named after Muppet characters is so 1997, Chris Jericho.
He Was on 'Dancing with the Stars'
In 2011, Jericho appeared as a contestant on the 12th season of Dancing with the Stars.
Wait... there have been twelve seasons of that show? That can’t be right. Gimme a second while I Wiki the shit out of it.
HOLY FUCKBALLS! There have been 373 episodes of Dancing with the Stars, and they’re currently putting together their 22nd season! How is that even possible? Here’s a more appropriate question: WHY IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!?
Anyway, on the April 26, 2011 episode, Chris Jericho (along with his professional dance partner, Cheryl Burke) was eliminated from the show after performing a tango to a cover of “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey. On that same episode, Hanson performed “MMMBop” live on air, and New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys teamed up to perform two duets together. Jericho was eliminated in the show’s sixth week, which was three weeks before Ralph Macchio got the boot, and five weeks before Kirstie Alley placed runner-up in the finals.
Now go back and re-read that entire last paragraph.
You are not a thing, Chris Jericho!
He Appeared in 2015’s 'Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!'
SPOILER ALERT!
Chris Jericho gets eaten by a shark... at the top of a fucking roller coaster.
Okay, this actually looks pretty fucking badass.
You know, Chris Jericho, in my professional opinion, this bit of awesomeness pretty much cancels out the long list of ridiculousness that came before it. So I take it back, Chris Jericho: You are a thing.
But so is Myspace, god dammit!
