>>> When I was born, both my mother and father had really bad heroin addictions. When I was two, I was shipped off to go live with my grandparents and their three kids, my Aunt Terri (Blueberry) and uncle Timmy. They were all kids when I was a baby so I was treated like a little sister. When I was three, someone tried to carjack my Aunt and shot her in the head. She lived through it but it was one of my first traumatic moments in my life. My big sister was never the same after that. All my uncles had problems with drugs and crime so there would always be Police or scandals going on behind my back. MY parents could never get it together and I would spend most of my time that I spent with my mother trying to play with her but she was always too doped up. She would eventually fuck it up and I was shipped back and forth between her and my grandparents until she finally just fucked up too much and they cut her off. Then when I turned around; my mothers battle with drugs finally ended. She was found brain dead in her apartment from an aneurism. My family lied to me about her being sick a finally told me after she died. I never even got to say goodbye then my big sister followed suit. After several brain surgeries the only solace Terri could find was in heroin. Apparently my mother turned her onto it. We found Terri dead in her bed of a seizure. My Uncle Jimmy was a real punk. He was always getting into trouble and had a bad problem fucking with people and taking jokes just a little too far. The prison guard took Jimmy on an elevator ride and beat him to death. With all his children dying before his eyes, my grandfather, the rock in my life, got lung cancer. The man who was everything to me was now dying. When he finally passed, I had no choice but to get the hell out of dodge. I stumbled upon LA and fell into some really bad habits. Nights up in the hills turned into days locked up in my closet. Things spiraled down to the depths and one night as I laid their in panicked rushes I finally had enough. Either I was going to be Debbie part 2 (my mother) or I was going to change the world; hence the birth of Mary Magdalan. I gave up my habits and got down to making groundbreaking music, that as 2 years ago. Now I'm ready to bring this on the world.
Music Now: What makes you and your band stand out from all the other bands out there?
>>> I don't think we've ever tried to stand out. I just think that the sound of music needs something different in order for it to grow. I doubt I would even be here right now if I intended to sound like the next popular band. IF you turn on the radio, its the same thing or a cheap imitation of what someone else did. The rock star died a long time ago. Now it's grungy boy bands singing about what some chick did to them and how life sucks and blah blah blah. I'm not really out to change music as much as I am just trying to leave a scar. Music Now: Nicely put.
Music Now: If you could perform a concert with any band or artist (living or dead), who would it be and why?
>>> Well being that most of my idols are dead, it would probably be with Janis Joplin and Layne Stayley on vocals, Jimi and Dimebag on dueling lead guitars, Kurt Cobain on rhythm and vocals, Biggie on rhymes, Cliff Burton on bass and dueling drum tandem of Bonham and Keith Moon. Oh yeah and GG Allin hyping the crowd. Besides that it would probably be my band. I couldn't see myself playing with anyone else.
Music Now: How did your first song materialize?
>>> Well I probably went through a few hundred songs before I actually wrote a song that fully represented me. The first song I wrote with the band was "Rehab". At the time, I was dealing with a lot of chemical demons. My DJ came by the club and slid me some beats and he accidentally put the beat for "Rehab" on my CD. The beat was meant for someone else! The next time we met I had the basis of the song and he had no choice but to give me the beat. While making the song, I hit a turning point in my life because that is when I made the decision to walk another path.
Music Now: Where do you get your inspiration for songs? Which comes first.....the lyrics, to which you fit words, or the words, around which you fit a melody?
>>> Songs come from different places, sometimes the words, sometimes the melody, sometimes just the feeling....I have this little box that I keep inside me and as I walk around I collect feelings and of course I have plenty of my own, then, when its time to write a song or perform I go into my box and whatever comes out is what it is so- you never know what it'll be.
Music Now: What inspires you?"
>>> A lot of things inspire me, fear, confusion, this need I have to getaway, my addictions, emotional or chemical, love or lack thereof....I guess its the relationship of positive and negative, everything has an opposite reaction....I do a lot of bouncing off that.
Music Now: Who was your role model and why?
>>> My mother was heroin addict, and I guess she was my first role model so, I really never had one. Now Im my own role model because the women I am striving to be is a role model in herself.....if I cant live up to it myself then Ill never be able to help others....
Music Now: Was being a musician your first choice of profession? If not, what profession would you try and pursue?
>>> I was actually a dancer for most of my life. If I wasn't making music, I would probably be a missionary; probably off somewhere away from modern civilization barefoot with a bone in my nose :)
Music Now: Do you believe in keeping the best equipment there is or working to play the best you can with what you have?"
>>> We've always had a Russian style training approach to our music. The Russian basketball team practices with a smaller sized basketball hoop so when they get to the real game the hoop looks gigantic. Our equipment isnt half of what these other bands have but I just go out there and spit my soul through shitty mikes just as hard as good mikes. If you cant share yourself with your audience, then maybe you need some better equipment.
Music Now: I like your approach.
Music Now: Which do you value more: staying true to the song or expressing yourself, even if it means making some slight changes to the melody?
>>> I really feel like the best of both worlds with my music. Its the purest expression of me. As far as melodies and things like that, I try to make sure compliment what my band does in order to make the best song.
Music Now: When you are playing at a concert, do you concentrate more on putting your soul into the music or extending your music to the audience?
>>> I just try to leave it all out on the stage. When youre sober, sometimes the only high you can get is being on the stage, so I fully take advantage of that. Plus, as a woman doing such aggressive music, I've got to be able to represent for the ladies.
Music Now: What keeps you grounded?"
>>> I have a "fan" that cant seem to get it straight. She's got issues with drugs, sex, cutting, abuse and every other demon that is killing off our youth. She told me that if it wasn't for me she would be dead right now. I talk to her every day. If that doesn't keep your feet underneath you, then I guess nothing will.
Music Now: If you become exceedingly famous, will you make a contract with the venue to take out all of the brown M&M's they give you? Smile" >>> I'm actually going for the oversized almond M&M's and have them individually painted by 5 year old kids in the Philippines. Or maybe I'll just need water and a lock on the bathroom door. I'll make sure to send you a copy of my rider.
Music Now: If you were not making (your current genre of) music, what other genre (folk/rap/whatever) would you be doing?
>>> I dont even know what genre Im in now. I cant decide as it is. I dig all types of music. I usually dont write with any one genre in mind; that kind of kills the whole creation thing for me. I write what I feel. You can take anything and make it into what you need it to be.
Music Now: What is your payback for the hours and hours of time you spend alone or with the band learning new music? Does devotion to one's art go this far? How do you juggle this solitude to the immense pleasure of applause after a concert?
>>> The pleasure I feel is not at the end during the applause; the pleasure I feel is the meditative high I get DURING the performance and the feeling I get when I answer my fans questions about life and feeling depressed; I love helping.
Music Now: Were you interested in music when you were younger?
>>> I was always a dancer and had a grave love for music and its ability to transport me far away from the pain that was around me as a child. It was like my plane ticket to another world. About 5 years ago, I began to take music seriously and about 2 years ago I really tapped into my sound. Its hard to be free as an artist when you still unsure of your sound so that was a big turning point for me then last year I found this band and things have just been in Gods hands since then..
Music Now: Do you have any advice for other musicians? >>> The one thing that Ive learned and Im still learning everyday is really actually simple but really fucking hard to do; mind discipline. It means not listening to those voices in your head that doubt you and tell you you cant do it, it means having the courage to try again and again and again until you fall on your face again and again, it means being stronger than you ever thought you'd have to be, and it means just to do it all again.
Music Now: Would you rather make music for fame or for the music itself?
>>> Fuck fame! If I did this for fame, I'd be prancing around half naked talking about my tits. I do this for the people that know and feel my struggle. Fame is the buffet that my ego feasts on when all I want to do is kill my ego.
Music Now: Who is the most influential person in your music career?
>>> I guess me and my strong need to get this message out there and my co-producer and DJ who always pushed for more when I thought I couldn't do it. He also made me quit cocaine or he wouldn't work with me.
Music Now: If you could jam with any famous musician, dead or alive, from any century, who it would be, and why?
>>> It would have to be Aretha Franklin. I don't know if I could even stand on the same stage as her, but that would probably be the highlight of my career.
Music Now: Does it ever freak you out when kids idolize you, claim they love you, obsess over your lyrics and so on?
>>> Not at all. They know that I understand them and they understand me. I cant even call them fans; they are more family to me than fans. They are the only reason I do what I do.
Music Now: Why do you choose to play music instead of some other art?
>>> Music is just the art I choose now. When I feel I have said what it is I have to say artistically thru music I can move to another medium. Music Now: How did you all meet? I met Jesus through a mutual friend. At the time, I was looking to do a mix tape and he had the hottest mix tapes in LA. We started making music together and eventually got a band together. After about six months with our first band, we crashed and burned; which left us with no choice but to clean house. We met Eric through our old weed dealer. One of his clients was a music student and when asked who was the best guitarist in the program, he (old weed dealer) threw Eric's name out there. Eric knew Bobby and Pete from school and had jammed with them on other projects, so when we all got together it just fit perfectly from day one.
Music Now: Do you have a particular message you want to convey to your audience through your music?
>>> Your not alone. Everyone's crazy. Use what God gave you and make it work FOR you not against you. Try to see the good in all the bad situations you'll be faced with; even if they just fucking suck.
slavewriter6: Your childhood was...well rough to say the least. You had to deal with a lot of trauma. What do you think it was that gave you the strength to get out?
Mary : Honestly, I couldn't even tell you. For me I experienced so much death in such a short period of time that I never got a chance to really feel what happened to me. It was like somebody took a torch and burned down my family tree. After experiencing death on such a high level it just got really dark for me. I started using pretty heavy. I was an atheist. Life became my own personal hell and I loved it. It was like the family I never had. It and it was also there egging me on. So I dove way down the rabbit hole and set up camp. My addictions were out of control and I pushed every binge as far as I could. Then i would come down and jump head first into my pool of guilt and depression. And no matter how fucked up it got, it just felt comfortable being there. It was like a warm blanket. Thats who PITY GIRL is. So I guess PITY GIRL is me. Most of her was me, but if you try to change too much about yourself, you lose who you really are.
slavewriter6: At what point in your life did you start thinking of the possibility of being a musician or did you even ever really give much thought to it before it started happening?
Mary : I remember being very young and my mother coming to visit me at my Grandparents house and her suggesting that they get me singing lessons. Its weird because as a child she really hurt me a lot, but I remember that as one of the positive things she tried to do for me. My grandparents laughed it off because, lets just say, I was not a singer at that time. But I would spend all day as a kid, making up routines in my bedroom and doing stupid shit like that, so i guess I always wanted to do it. I applied my passion into dance and art for a long time and about five years ago I got serious about music.
slavewriter6: After making it to LA later on, how did you go about getting your music career started? Did you know anyone there or were you pretty much on your own at this point?
Mary : When I first got out here I quickly fell into some crazy shit. Hollywood?s a crazy town. The party never stops and my party didn't stop for a long time. My bad episodes started becoming more frequent and after one too many bad trips, I knew I had to do something or I was going to be just like Debbie. Making music is actually what helped save me. As opposed to blowing lines in some Hollywood mansion all night, I could leave all that bad shit behind and lock myself inside my apartment with my pugs and my music. It replaced a lot of bad rituals, so it?s my lsalvation. So I got a ProTools rig and locked away in my apartment. I just started writing and writing. Most of it didnt even make any sense but i just became obsessive with it. Eventually I started working with other people but it just seemed like people kept trying to shove me into these cute little pop packages and thats just not me. Eventually my old demons started popping up again, except now as opposed to club hopping and running around the city like a madwoman locked up in studio chain sipping Hennessy and chopping lines every ten minutes in the bathroom. I was pretty gone and was back underneath the blanket, so to speak. Some time later I met Gzus.
slavewriter6: How did you two hook up?
Mary : I met Gzus through a mutual friend. He was the biggest DJ in LA at the time and was doing these hot ass mixtapes. I had a ton of great music and I needed his mix on it so we set up a meeting. We started working together immediately. After I told him my life story he insisted that we evaluate the music that we were making and to start making music truer to my history and soul. We also took the time to shed some of own personal demons and addictions. I was hooked. He was hooked. We were both in the scene doing scene things. When we first started making music together we had an instant musical chemistry but we would end up getting too fucked up to do anything with it. We finally made a decision to have each other?s back and quit hard drugs and drinking. At first it sucked but what we did was we started writing all of our cravings into music. It really helped define our sound. When one of us would want to get high, we would pick up a pen and scribble lyrics or jump on the keyboard and try to force the jones out of us in some disturbing melody. Whatever we could do to keep our nose clean, so to speak. It took us about a year to develop the sound and then we were introduced to Eric. One of our old dealers knew a guy that knew a guy that knew this kid who could whip on guitar. We hooked up and started writing music together. After about a year of writing we really started to gel. I guess at that point we realized that it was time to put something down, so we locked up and did PITY GIRL.
slavewriter6: Do you write all of your own songs? Are they based on experiences you have had for the most part and do you typically write the lyrics first or the music?
Mary : We never know where a song is going to come from. Sometimes one of us will come with the music....a riff, a beat, a hook, a melody.....something to chew on. Lyrically the song will be based upon the mood that the music is giving off. If the music feels like insanity, then I got books full of that. If its pain, I?ve got enough pain to last. Whatever the music dictates as a mood, that?s what I try to give it lyrically. Then Gzus will come in and build moods around the song. Then we'll go in and tighten up all the loose ends and throw all that shit in a blender, puree the shit out of it and VOILA...We've got a song : )
Its funny because within a week of finishing PITY GIRL Gzus and I started demoing new material. We wrote about 6-8 songs for the new record. So we're excited about that. But we are constantly writing. We figure it takes about 10 songs in order to get one that could possibly make the album. We don?t do filler tracks. With us its either the shit or its just shit. Most of the time we know pretty early whether a song is built for us. But then sometimes one of us will really love a song and take the time to nurture that demo idea into something more than that. "TOUCHM3" is a perfect example. I wrote the song and instantly fell in love with it. Gzus wasn't really feeling it. But I heard this house inspired rock song with a real vulnerable feel to it. I just kept grinding on it. It took about a year of development and probably three to four different versions of the song itself, but it turned out being Gzus' favorite song on the album.
slavewriter6: What was the very first song you wrote and what inspired it?
Mary : I've probably written over 500 songs but "Rehab" was one of the first songs that really felt like I was doing the right thing. Gzus slid me a CD with about 20 different beats on it. He wanted me to write on one of other beats on the CD but when I heard the track for "Rehab" it was like instant connection. It took about a day to write. I just closed my eyes and woke up in Rehab. It was confession. It was the withdrawals. it was everything that I was going through, went through or was about to go through. At the time I was still using, so I guess it was my first step in my recovery. It was the first song Gzus and I did together and it really helped shape PITY GIRL. Its funny because after the song was written we knew that it would be the first song on the album and we wrote it almost 3 years ago.
slavewriter6: What is your favorite part of performing on stage?
Mary : The whole experience is just such a high that you cant pinpoint one thing. Its definitely the best drug out. Sometimes I get lost and I forget that I'm even up there. The music can take me there sometimes. Now I understand why old school performers like the Stones are still doing it because the high is so fucking good. I just want to share a part of me with the fans every time I get on stage because I know at least one person there has walked in my shoes or knows someone that has. Its just a rush, I cant explain it.
slavewriter6:
You are a very aggressive musician and performer, which is kick ass. You are getting in a position to make and even bigger mark on the music world for all the other women of rock and metal. How do you feel about representing such a large group and trying to make it as a woman in metal and what would be your advice to other women trying to do the same?
Mary : Man.....just do what feels right in your heart and don't compromise your ideals to be successful. I had people pulling me from every direction thinking they knew what was best for me before i even started Mary Magdalan. They wanted me to be a pop star, or sex pot or just some artificial bullshit when I just wanted to be me. Yes, my fingernails are chipped and dirty. Yes I'm fucked in the head. Yes I would prefer to scream my fucking brains out than talk about Gucci bling or fly my fucking car is. I dont even own a fucking car, so how the fuck is something like that even in my thought process. Thats me. Thats Mary. Today I am just happy that I just stayed true to myself. God.....could you imagine what would happen if I didnt? You might have eneded up talking to Marylicious. jk
slavewriter6: Who had been your biggest inspiration in your music career?
Mary : There?s probably too many to name. My mother has played a tremendous role in inspiration, especially with PITY GIRL. The abandonment. The addiction. The choices she made and things she put me through as a kid still fuck with me on a daily basis. But through making this album i learned to forgive her. You're talking about a woman that left me as a five year old kid in an abandoned building one time so she could cop heroin. Whenever we would be together she would be completely doped up or something would come up and I would be shipped back to my Grandparents. It sucks because I never got to know her. Its a tragic story with her and it became part of the mold of who I am. But without that experience I wouldn't have been able to make PITY GIRL. I don?t know if would even have the courage to say the things I've said in songs without it.
slavewriter6:Tell us about the making of your new CD, "Pity Girl". How was that process? I know you guys did ALL of the work on your own correct?
Mary : Making PITY GIRL brought me to the lowest of my lows and the highest of my highs, which I guess it was supposed to do. It was definately a test of wills. A lot of pain went into making it and you can hear it. We're lucky because we were able to make an album exactly how we wanted it without some record company suit telling us we needed to sound more like this band or that band. We were able to experiment and push the boundaries on whatever the fuck we wanted to do. I guess thats us. Everyone had their meltdown day or week. I had a few too many. There were fights, tears, holes punched in walls....every bad thing was worse and every worse thing seemed to happen all the time. But if I couldnt be happier with the results. I guess sometimes I wish that someone else made PITY GIRL, because I think I would have really loved it.
For us we always knew what we wanted to do with the album and exactly how we wanted it to come out. We just didnt know how to get there. We knew it had to be a portrait of the road I walked. It had to feel more like a movie than an album. It had to be a look inside my head, which meant not only being true to myself in the writing process, but also trying to capture that emotion on every line in the album. Gzus helped me tie the whole thing together. He pushed me open my mind up and make it back out without losing it. It was hell, but we knew I would have to go through hell to make the album we wanted to make. He also pushed us further than we even thought we could go. There would be sessions when we would think we really hit a line or a lick and he would be like, "No, that?s not it". We would argue, curse at him.....everything. Eventually we would go in and re-do out parts. I'm glad we did because those extra takes made PITY GIRL a better album.
All in all we are very proud of what we made. Its an emotional meltdown from start to end. Sometimes you're scared. Sometimes you're pissed. Sometimes you're just so fucking sad you wanna blow you're fucking head off. Thats what got me here. And thats what I get to leave behind me now.
slavewriter6: Do you have a favorite song on "Pity Girl" and can you tell us the inspiration behind it?
Mary : Its hard to say. I'm personally attatched to every song. "TouchM3" is one that I really love because its the complete opposite of everything that we do. Debbie will always have a place with me. Plus all the aggressive shit is so......aggressive that i fucking just love it. I cried every night for a month writing "Debbie". But by making that song i was able to bring a little closure in my life. One of my favorite memories I have from recording the album was doing the guitar solos for "Debbie". We were really all frustrated at the time and Eric was having problems nailing the solos. Then his mother called him. She was going through some things and she dumped it all on him. He kept quiet, hung up the phone and just laid out this fucking heartwrenching take. It felt like he was crying out to his mother and translating her pain into notes and for me that was what the whole song was about. It really gave us hope that we were doing the right thing. So I guess that song has a special place in all our hearts. "Rage" will always have a place because I wrote down exactly what I was feeling and I was able to capture it. It was when I was trying to stop using and I was really losing it, so writing and recording that song really touches home for me. Other songs like "Cigarette Burns" or Violenc3" were actually fun to write. The same could be same about "I". The lyrics to "I" were written on a bar napkin at this club on Sunset and Vine, so it was very in the moment. Funny thing is that for such a dark paranoid song I had a great time that night. "The Mule" was a story i had to tell and I knew I was either going to do it on PITY GIRL or I was never going to do it. For me I love them all because they are all a part of me.
So for its a hard call. I guess if you ask me this same question in a year I may have a better answer.
slavewriter6: Ok Mary, before we wrap up, is there anything you would like to say as a message for all of your fans about why you do what you do and what message you are trying to convey?
Mary : Drugs are bad mmkay! No I'm just fucking with you.. I guess if I had a message is dont let anyone tell you that you cant do something. Look at us. We're just three kids from LA. We dont have shit. We just believed in ourselves and did what we set out to do. And we're just getting started. Not to say that it wasn't the hardest thing to do but we just beleived that we could do it and left ourselves no other choice. I guess thats where WTOTFW came from. Just believing we could do it.
slavewriter6: Thanks a ton for taking the time do work on the interview. Sometime in the next few months I am going to start recording audio versions of my interviews so all of the fans can hear the interviews as well as read them so I hope to talk to you then and get an update!
