Mark Garrison is both a loving husband, a devoted father, and a steadfast rebel when it comes to the word "both." Mark Garrison decided to become a writer so that he could inspire children to learn. He quickly realized there is no hope for today’s youth.
Mark Garrison in various stages of non-alcoholic, insanity induced intoxication.
TV Shows
In fifth grade the news weather man and his camera crew came by and shot some video. We gave him a t-shirt. He said he would wear it on the news and he didn't. Fucking prick. You could see the left side of my head on TV.
Films
Various home made movies. Mostly of me wearing a sombrero and, well, that's it, I'm just wearing a sombrero.
Albums
I have a family album, but it's mostly pictures of me pooping when I was a small child. Good times.
Mark Garrison's Interests
General
Writing, writing, writing, drinking diet soda's, booty, booty, drinking energy drinks and then tying myself to a chair, playing tennis with big breasted females, writing letters to senators, congressmen and the president asking them to install condom dispensers in all church bathrooms to prevent alter boy pregnancy, giving people the chance to see things differently, charity, clicking every day at The Hunger Site, booty.
Note: I finally got one.
Charity: One small way to do something big is to go to these sites every day and click on a button. Those little buttons really do make a difference. It's a small, simple way to help this fucked up world.
Duran Duran, Toadies (singers of my all time favorite song), Depeche Mode, The Pinker Tones, Lady Sovereign, Dick Desert & The Shotgun Country Club, Scott Lanaway, Aterciopelados, Nortec Collective, Andrea Echeverri, Radiohead, M.I.A., Moxy, Joe Tex, Johnny Cash, Silversun Pickups, The Bravery, Pearl Jam, Gorillaz, Fatty Poindexter, The Electro Chemists, Dr Dre, Ice Cube, Easy E, NWA, Lupe Fiasco, TI, George Baker, Foo Fighters, Earlimart, Papa Wood, Bill Withers, Lisa Loeb, MANY more.
THE BIG SNIT (the best fucking movie ever made, hands down), Richard Condie's Family Album, Goodfellas, Godfather series (even 3), Casino, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Heat, any movie involving vampires, anything by Quentin Tarantino, any non-kid movie directed by Robert Rodriguez, movies that I make at home (wink wink, nudge nudge) and many more.
Television
The Shield and Family Guy, um, yeah that's about it. "Dancing With the Stars" and "Skating with Celebrities" should be outlawed and it's viewers thrown out of a fast moving, burning bus at extremely high altitude.
I'm Mark Garrison. I write both general and comedic fiction as well as create ridiculous media in various forms. Lately, most of my time is spent working on comic re-captions and super short films. My work has appeared in venues that can be seen over to your left or below.
If you're on my friend's list it's because there's something about you that I admire. However, if we knew eachother ten or more years ago, chances are we won't or can't fucking stand eachother now. I don't know why but that's just how it generally works out. There are very few exceptions to this rule and I love them dearly. If you want to know more, feel free to call me anytime at (310) 574-2461.
My work has been featured at....
and many more.
Who I'd like to meet: You, you, and you! Lisa Loeb, Sarah Silverman, Richard Condie, Robert Deniro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci, Ray Liota, Conan O'Brien, Samuel L Jackson, Levi, anyone as ridiculously ridiculous as I am, anyone who likes the stuff I write, a literary agent, and thick females with amazing asses; My wife beat me mercilessly after typing that last sentence.
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