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I sit in quiet reflection, yearning to remember all the details of the events that have recently expired. I long to have Tawny next to me, laughing her big laugh, teasing me the way she always does. I knew from the moment I left the airport I would never have her in my life the way she's always been. We’ve spent nearly every day for the past two years together, inseparable, but I no longer have the security of that controlled environment. The reality of the world around me started to haunt me as I drove those busy freeways home, alone.

I slowly step out and breathe in the warm air, flicking my cigarette butt. The sky's clear and the air's perfectly still. The wind has finally ceased and the stillness is saddening. I make my way towards the stairs that lead up to my apartment. I walk the steps in the shade and feel the hint of a chill that's not too far away. The chill that signals the end of summer and the end of all the smells that will now be forever different. My knees will start to ache soon and all summers to follow will never be the same. No more lazy days in the sun, no more late nights without care. No more “summer breaks” or virginity to lose.

- from "Before September Falls" Before September Falls 1

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