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Chris Cubas
 Stand-Up / Stand-Up / Stand-Up
"You are stronger then them. But soon, I think, they be stronger then you."

Male
30 years old
NEW PALTZ, NY
United States



Last Login:7/24/2008
Mood: irritated Mood Image
View My: Pics | Videos

   Contacting Chris Cubas

 MySpace URL: 
  http://www.myspace.com/chriscubasstandup  

   Chris Cubas's Comedian Bio
Bio   I am an overly opinionated, fat, unattractive jackass.
WebsiteYou’re looking at it.
InfluencesRichard Pryor, George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Bill Cosby, Louis CK, Patrice Oneal. Anyone funny and honest.

    Chris Cubas's Interests
GeneralI collect spores, molds, and fugus.
MusicPublic Enemy, Bad Religion, Bad Brains, The Lillingtons, Etta James, Jakcie Wilson, They Might Be Giants, X, Corn Mo, Those Legendary Shack Shakers, Brother Ali, MF DOOM, Dead Kennedys, Donnie, Immortal Technique, Old Crow Medicine Show, Bouncing Souls. Anything that doesn't suck and a few things that kinda do.
MoviesDawn of the Dead (The Original), Big Trouble in Little China, The Goonies, Midnight Run, The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly, Aliens, Seven Days in May, They Live, The Nightmare on Elm Street Series (especially parts 1, 3, and 7), Goodfellas, Blues Brothers. The list goes on and on.
TelevisionI watch way too much TV. My current obsessions include 30 Rock, The Office, Battlestar Galactica and anything show I can watch on DVD.

     Chris Cubas's Details
Status:Single
Here for:Networking, Friends
Orientation:Straight
Body type:6' 0"
Ethnicity:Other
Religion:Atheist
Zodiac Sign:Scorpio
Smoke / Drink:Yes / Yes
Children:I don't want kids


   Upcoming Gigs
Oct 2 2008 9:00P
Valentine’s Albany NY
Oct 3 2008 9:00P
The Elevens North Hampton MA
Oct 4 2008 10:00P
Cousin Larry’s Danbury CT
Oct 5 2008 9:00P
Snapper Mcgee’s Torrington CT
Oct 7 2008 9:00P
Keegan Ale’s Kingston NY
Oct 8 2008 9:00P
Asbury Lanes Asbury Park NJ
Oct 9 2008 9:00P
The M Room Philladelphia PA
Oct 10 2008 9:00P
The Sidebar Baltimore MD
Oct 11 2008 9:00P
Small’s York PA
Oct 12 2008 8:00P
Sterling Hotel Allentown PA
Oct 13 2008 8:00P
Popeye’s Pub Cortlandt Manor NY
Oct 15 2008 8:00P
Diablo’s Eugene OR
Oct 16 2008 8:00P
TBA Eugene OR
Oct 17 2008 8:00P
Bagdad Portland OR
Oct 18 2008 8:00P
The Trove Grants Pass OR
Oct 21 2008 8:00P
Jazzbones Tacoma WA
Oct 22 2008 8:00P
The Laffhole Seattle WA
Oct 24 2008 8:00P
Pelligrino’s Tumwater WA
Oct 26 2008 8:00P
Red Room Portland OR
Nov 7 2008 9:00P
Headhunter’s Austin TX
Jul 25 2008 8:00P
Comedy Showcase at Joey’s Cafe Washingtonville NY
Oct 20 2008 8:00P
Johnny B’s Medfor OR
Oct 25 2008 8:00P
Parkade Kennewick WA

Chris Cubas's Latest Blog Entry  [Subscribe to this Blog]

Tour Stories Pt. 11  (view more)

Tour Stories Pt 10  (view more)

Movie Rules Vol. 1  (view more)

Emo Initiation Ceremony  (view more)

How are there still Catholics?  (view more)

[View All Blog Entries]

   Chris Cubas's Blurbs
About me:
Trying to make a career out of telling jokes to drunks.
Who I'd like to meet:
Cool people with beer money. Photobucket

   Chris Cubas's Friend Space (Top 20)
Chris Cubas has 377 friends.
 JT Habersaat Standup Page 


 Ruby Collins 


 Richie Stratton 


 jesse alison, confused naysayer 


 JOE STAATS the 1st 


 Error 


 Mack Lindsay 


 Jake Flores 


 So Sayeth The Bunneth 


 John Fucking Rabon 


 Duncan Wilder 


 The F Bombers 


 Snapper Magee’s Live Music! 


 Altercation 


 Pop's Tattoo Emporium 


 White Knuckle Rodeo 


 PBR 


 Casket Architects [warped tour: july 31 - aug 3] 


 the cryptkeeper five 


 Born To Lose - NEW SONGS! 





Chris Cubas's Friends Comments
Displaying 50 of 82 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
Snapper Magee’s Live Music!





Jul 21 2008 7:15 AM

Photobucket
Manders





Jul 19 2008 5:17 PM

So, in the 23 combined hours I spent on a Greyhound this week (11 to get to Toronto, 12 to get back), I did not encounter ONE SINGLE aging hooker/apparent felon/shameful mid-bus-trip sex act. I'm disappointed(...?)

Sassy Black Kid Moment of the Day:
(At Pier 1 Imports, of all places)

Kid:I'm growing a mustache!
My Dad: Oh yeah?
Kis: *Points to his mom* She's growing a mustache, too!
JT Habersaat Standup Page





Jul 17 2008 10:27 PM

and then it hit a bottle of gin...


Bible, watermelon stop stray bullet:
quote - ‘The word of God slowed the bullet so that it didn’t kill anybody.’

INDIANAPOLIS - An Indianapolis woman believes a higher power helped her and her two young great-granddaughters survive a shooting this week.

Before stray bullets from a gun battle ripped through her car, Charlotte Thompson didn’t even know what gunfire sounded like.

“I’d never heard a gunshot,” she said.

She was sitting at a red light around 7 p.m. Monday when the fight broke out.

“We heard this pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow,” Thompson said. "Then Shyann said, ‘Oh! I’m shot!’”

Her 10-year-old great granddaughter was sitting in the back seat, shot in the stomach.

“I turned around and looked and she raised up her shirt and I could see the bullet,” Thompson said. "I could see where it went in and where it went out.”

Thompson’s other great granddaughter, 13-year-old Jaelyn, was in the backseat, too — on the driver’s side.

“She was crying, too, because she thought she was shot, too,” Thompson said.

Police later showed Thompson the path the bullet took through her car. She now believes that path was guided by God.

“Came through the door, hit her, then it went to the Bible,” she said. The Bible was sitting on the seat between the two girls. “It went in here and come out here and it shredded my Sunday School book. The word of God slowed the bullet so that it didn’t kill anybody.”

A watermelon Jaelyn was holding in her lap eventually stopped the bullet.

“Right in the watermelon. Didn’t come out of the watermelon,” Thompson said. “The word of God and the Lord’s power saved. He sent the bullet into the watermelon.
”
JT Habersaat Standup Page





Jul 17 2008 10:12 PM

Dave Slagle--brokeass comedian





Jul 16 2008 2:01 PM

that baby hitler picture is fucking hilarious.
wunderwmn





Jul 15 2008 1:54 PM

Brilliant... I expect nothing different from you!!! I'm still telling people about the "utter-ly" ridiculous chick... what a sloppy mess, huh??? But good for laughs!!! Hang with us sometime!!! WKR @ Snappers this Friday, and my B-day breakfast BBQ this sunday morning... Be there bitch!!! XOXOXO
JT Habersaat Standup Page





Jul 14 2008 9:30 PM

almost fell out of my chair on that one...
Pixie Stix Mcgee





Jul 14 2008 7:19 PM

JT Habersaat Standup Page





Jul 14 2008 7:17 PM

NEW FUCKING TOUR POSTER
Photobucket
MAX!





Jul 14 2008 3:55 PM

Ruby Collins





Jul 14 2008 10:32 AM

buy one?
i never pay for nuts, yo.
Ruby Collins





Jul 14 2008 10:17 AM

i just saw a commercial advertising "an extraordinary nut snack" and i thought of you.
JOE STAATS the 1st





Jul 13 2008 12:34 AM

Ruby Collins





Jul 11 2008 7:00 PM

monkeys and people have thumbs.
Pixie Stix Mcgee





Jul 10 2008 8:28 AM

feel free to use that phrase. it's so rare i have a gem, ive got to spread it around.
Wendygirl





Jul 9 2008 8:32 AM

funny how your upcoming gigs go from the 3rd to the 10th to then the 12th back to the 4th. you clearly have the same meticulous organizational skills as I. I will definitely come see you perform...
Ben Drinkin'





Jul 7 2008 1:04 PM

I'm still considering blatantly ripping off your PE tattoo, just so you know. See you in November.
--Ben
Ruby Collins





Jul 5 2008 5:45 PM

its beautiful!!!

do you love me?
could you learn to love me?
you must love me exactly as i love you.
Dave Slagle--brokeass comedian





Jul 5 2008 10:43 AM

july 12th. the stone pony shots fest. somerville town drunks with the f-bombers. check it if you can son.
JT Habersaat Standup Page





Jul 4 2008 8:15 AM

dead on the 4th of July. SWEET.

RALEIGH, North Carolina - Former Republican Sen. Jesse Helms, a leading conservative from North Carolina who served 30 years in the Senate before retiring in 2003, has died, the Jesse Helms Center said Friday. He was 86.

"Former United States Senator Jesse Helms died at 1:15 a.m. this morning in Raleigh. Further details on funeral arrangements will be forthcoming," the center, which is based at Wingate University, said on its Web site.

Helms, a blunt-talking product of the Old South, was known as "Senator No" for opposing just about anything that obstructed his conservative view of the world.
baby lou tattoo





Jun 27 2008 7:05 AM

did you hear about boots riley? why the fuck did i move to the southeast?
Phillip J.





Jun 29 2008 12:45 AM

You handled your set very well at RedSeven.


Long Live Death Metal!
Pixie Stix Mcgee





Jun 24 2008 9:06 PM

http://www. ohgizmo. com/2008/06/17/goodbye-cinnamon-hello-bacon-floss/
HORROR-FANATICS.COM