what crackhead fucked up myspace?

..Doug Easley was born aboard an Icelandic whaling ship during a summer maelstrom that nearly took the lives of all on board. He was then abandoned at the Port of St. Arthur. He was soon spirited away to a monastery in Northern Italy where he was educated by Paulist monks. It was here that Doug was first introduced to the musical arts in the form of Gregorian chants of which he is a master. ..
..When Doug was fourteen Abbot Rossini took Doug to Venice to see the famous Venetian Circus of Bernoulli Cardalini. Mesmerized by the skillful hijinks of the buffones (clowns) Doug plotted to sneak away from the Abbot by volunteering for the disappearing act during the circus' grand finale -- he never reappeared. Over the years with the circus, Doug cemented his reputation as one of Italy's finest clowns and was became known as Il Pfrofessore...
..After a tragic clown car accident in 1978 in which his face was rendered inhospitable to clown noses, it seemed as though Doug's circus days were over. He retired