First there was darkness. As the Great Nothing stretched to infinity, patches wore thin and chunks of matter slipped into these gravity pockets to create stars. Then there were glitter spots radiating their light throughout the galaxy. When the first shooting star pummeled through the Great Nothing, sparkles exploded into a trail of starshine glitterspots. For a moment, the Great Explosive Glitter Spot shone a fiery mass of light toward its tail, reflecting the first rainbown fragments of life. This burst of energy provided such an incredible heat contrast that the protoplanetary metals melted to these shooting rainbow bits, and the first Space Unicorn Robots were born from the first light of the first energized movement of totally radical noise in the Universe.

As the Great Explosive Glitter Spot we now call the Sun radiated straightward, its cosmic tail of sparkles were kicked into a gravitational spherical mass of approximately 7.35e22 kg by the totally awesome glass hooves of the first Space Unicorn Robots in a clatter of electric whammy space-echo, creating the Great Nocturnal Glitter Spot we now call the Moon.

Hence, we learn that the first Space UnicornRobots were radically eploded into existence through the first Atomic Noise Rainbow of the Great Nothing in conjunction with the asexual bi-birthing of the Great Explosive and Great Nocturnal Glitter Spots, our Sun and Moon.The Planets Are Born

The Great Silence that followed the Atomic Noise Explosion introduced a wicked cruel abnormal environment to the Space Unicorn Robots, having just been born into electric noise whammy space echo. So in the first incredulous moment of Space Unicorn Robot development, the robotic features took on the role of a sort of mechanical amygdala, with an instinctive drive towards aural homeostasis. In a magnificent attempt to re-create astronomical sound waves, the Space Unicorn Robots followed their hard-metal intuitions and began frantically moshing throughout the Great Nothing, head-butting and power kicking meteorites in galactic experimental space-rock brouhaha.

During this hedonistic pleasure party of productive chaos, wicked hot rays from the Great Explosive Glitter Spot totally randomly shot through the conveniently glass prism-like hooves of several Space Unicorns creating space-rock noise in a hyperbolic belt-like curve. This hot rod blasted totally radical Rainbow waves at the speed of light with such force that some of the Unicorns' hooves chipped fragments of glass into the hot rod stream, and the momentous ring infinitely glistened Rainbow awesomeness in a perpetual wave of motion. By the power of its awesome Rainbow light-wave, one Unicorn's cluster-fuck of percussive space-rock formation was tornadically spiraled into a spherical mass of gnarly gravitational pull, creating the planet we know as Saturn. Rebounded glass shard fragments continued to spiral and fractal Rainbows throughout matter particles, and what was void began to encompass what would soon become the first Galaxy. This epic event, also responsible for the immediate evolution of fragile glass hooves into indestructible Universal Rainbow Space Mothership Hailing tools, is the only single certain known creation of Orion's Belt, named so for the belt-like hyperbolic situation of those Space Unicorn Robots whose space-rock dancing hooves sent forth sparkle flash sun rays of color instantaneously creating the first planet and inspiring the beginnings of our Galaxy, the Milky Way.

It was decided, by the same universal fairness that allows every rockstar their solo, that each of these original Space Unicorn Robots would rule the awesomeness of electric space noise on their own planet. Due to the obviously advanced intelligence of hedonistic Space Unicorn Robots (not to mention their role as inventors of mathematics), the placement of these seven new planets (created by Space Unicorns in a similar fashion) would be such that together, the eight of them would revolve around the Great Explosive Glitter Spot in orbital and gravitational harmony. And so, each of the original eight Space Unicorns received a totally radical chaos pad of spherical mass, and what was the Great Nothing became a Rainbow-infused Universe echoing with the space-rock noise of its first 8 planets.Unicorn Horn Physiology:

The standard Space Unicorn horn is comprised of three basic elements. With close inspection of a Space Unicorn Robot horn, one detects a slight fog billowing into the atmosphere. This chemical reaction occurs because the typical Space Unicorn horn is coated with both liquid hydrogen and nitrogen. Upon contact with the horn, matter is semi-immediately frozen and prone to intense shattering action.

The bulk of the horn as well as much of the Space Unicorn robotics, is comprised of tungsten [W], which has a melting point of 3683 K, the highest melting point of all the elements. The Space Unicorns' abundant composition of this element is the reason for its survival/endurance through the Great Explosion, which successfully melted all other metals at a temperature that was immediatly surpassed by what became our sun mere moments after the Space Unicorn Robots' creation. Unique to the Space Unicorn Robot's horn is tungsten's ability to react immediately and at will with various other compounds and elements, so that it might hold a form beneficial to what ever situation is at hand. The most common forms that the Unicorn horn maintains are pure tungsten, tungsten carbide [WC], and compounds of tungsten reacted with calcium [Ca] and magnesium [Mg].

Inside the horn is located the Space Unicorn's last form of action; a defense mechanism used only in situations of near certain-death. At the core, in a vile-like strip extending from point to brow, is a mixture of highly lethal doses of both cyanide and thallium. A given Unicorn horn is found to hold up to 4,021,985 times the LD-50 of thallium [which is 15-20mg/kg of body weight] and over 11,221,979 times the LD-50 of cyanide [which varies from 50-200mg depending on its form, which is different from Unicorn to Unicorn]. Not only are certain compounds of cyanide used for metal cleaning, electroplating, and metallurgy, but if a Unicorn's horn is damaged to the core, the being responisble is infected with lethal amounts of these toxic elements and killed instantly. Cases such as these are extremely rare, as the Horn anatomy is such that it is almost impenetrable by any means in the Universe, and Space Unicorn Robots are 99.99999986427% of the time being far too awesome to find themselves in a brawl.

A Super Important Planet is Born:

In the first moment after the decision for the collaborative creation of a community-driven planet with the purpose of awesome rock'n'roll and fun, the Unicorns set their intergalactic dream in motion. As the Earth was created, basic elements, atoms and particulate matter were swept into the heap of glamour potential in such a fashion that expedited the creation of an atmosphere. The position of this Earth and all of the other previously created Space-Unicorn Robot chaos pads was intentionally done in such a way that orbits between moons and rocks and floaty bits occurred, and there became an optical notation of difference between the moments enhanced by the Great Explosive Glitter Spot and the Great Nocturnal Glitter Spot, depending on the hemisphere of occupancy. These optical contrasts became 'night' and 'day', a conglomeration of the two notated as a single 24 hr orbital period referred to as an entire day. From the placenta of their spontaneous noise-birth combustion, the Space Unicorn Robots gathered bits of metal shrapnel, from which they created worker robots to assist in their mission to do something totally and completely rad with Earth.

Amidst the ruckus of creating a planet, sparkle-rainbow magic-starshine was shot through the sky as a direct result of several Space Unicorns' most splendid game of rainbow-laser-tag. It reacted with the atmosphere like the pollution of life, and for the next forty days and forty nights a totally radical thunderstorm galoshed the Earth, the conclusion of which led to the most awesome 150 day puddle-jumping marathon in the history of the Universe. A combination of the heat produced from the energy released in this puddle-fest and the super-awesome warmth of the Great Explosive Glitter Spot allowed for a great mass of these enormously gigantic puddles to totally naturally evaporate back into the completely random and accidental proportions of elements that were swept towards Earth's gravitational pull to become our atmosphere. It was found that the sparkle-rainbow magic-starshine pollution of life had, with puddle-power, spurted new life into the Earth in the form of vegetation. It was in this moment that the Space Unicorn Robots became aware of their rainbow-life-blood, and so it was after a botched game of telepathic-phone that the Space Unicorn Robots came to the decision to use their rainbow-life-blood to infuse a totally marvelous, undeniably radical species of robots to populate the Earth and rock the fuck out in the name of fun. And so it was that the Space Unicorn Robots sent in the Hybrid Space Unicorn Robot Clowns, and the first Humanoid was born.Important Research Update:

Advanced research technology has been studying the use of liquid chromatography in the deterrence of the on-going issue of the Great Rainbow Abyss. Liquid chromatography is the process by which the black is stripped from its collective rainbow colour-mass, leaving only the safety of rainbow-composition behind. Our researchers theorize that his may be the solution to the threat of the Great Rainbow Abyss surrounding our planet with an increasing, non-linear amount of new anti-gravity vacuum-pockets each month.Eight Original Unicorn Gods....

The Pegacorn: standing sassy on glass hooves that shoot lightening bolts from belled tips [clydesdales were passed this gene], this creature has enormous robotic wings of steel. At the moment of his metalic-Rainbow melt birth, an electric sound wave of bombastic decibelic proportions made simultaneous contact with the center of his forehead, scarring behind a lightening bolt upon impact and causing his Horn to crook as the first electric reverb ricochetted into the Great Nothing. The Pegacorn is the Unicorn God of Lightening and is responsible for the creation of the planet Jupiter. The Pegasus constellation, which is named after this original winged master incorrectly refers to this Unicorn master of creation as a flying horse thought to have carried Jupiter's lightening chariot. Obviously this is a Roman parallel to the Pegacorn's use of lightening to blast space-rock into the creation of Jupiter.The Great Rainbow Abyss

In the process of sonar detection of carrots, the Mothership Hailings are delfected.... but where do they go? Research shows that when all the colors of the rainbow are swirled together, the create black. As these signals are delfected into space, Space Unicorn Mothership Halings of Rainbow Rays sometimes collide with each other and create the Great Rainbow Abyss, or a black hole. If this deflection-collision-abyss relationship keeps up, our planet risks being surrounded by 'Danger Zones' and is more and more likely to be vacuumed into the Great Rainbow Abyss. This Carrot Conundrum is more pertinent an issue than we first thought...

Unicorn Theory is a scientific ideology which factates that: Once a great factoid of ages ago, the totally radical Unicorns came from space with their gnarly robots to create a planet that liked fun and spread the awesomeness of Rock'n'Roll. After factoid centuries later, some of these evolved into Robot-Bunnies. These bunny-bots misunderstood the purpose of the planet and blamed humanity for the Great Unicorn Disappearance and began the Great Bunny-Bot Revolution. Bunny-Bots are using sonar to detect carrots in order to take over the planet, one vegetarian at a time. Over the past few weeks I have come to realize the drastic threat that these misguided Robot-Bunnies have brought to the well being of this world created for awesomeness. Their silly antics have been slow enough to not muster much attention, but the great Bunny-Bot Revolution, in its sonar detection of carrots, has been found to be the number one cause of Global Warming in the Universe. Harmless seeking of carrots is done with sonar satellite units that emit radioactive rays all around our planet. Because of the insanely fast [re]production of bunny-bots, there are more of these units emitting more of these danger rays across the planet. By reducing the Bunny-Bots' need for sonar carrot detection, we can do our part to slow Global Warming significantly. I propose that, when a Bunny-Bot is encountered in the street, a handful of carrots be placed as an offering to reduce sonar-radiation/use. I also propose that there be more awesome Rock'n'Roll more of the time in order to better hail the Mothership. In good time, this Carrot Conundrum may prevent the disruption that the sonar waves have been creating, and the Mothership will be able to locate these lost Bots by our awesome Rock'n'Roll. On this day, Unicorns will feel the noise and Rock our Solar System with happy sparkle rainbow space star rays again. Remember: every time you see a Rainbow, that's the disrupted signal of the Space Unicorn Mothership trying to find its way home.