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Tom Hayes was born in Elizabeth City, North Carolina, on May 7, 1981.
While there, he developed a close relationship with his family, especially his mother. During this time, he caught a crab, which he kept as a pet, and enjoyed playing chess, though he was not very good.

In 1983, Tom moved to Bay Minette, Alabama, and lived with his mother and older sister. While in Bay Minette, he developed a fear of dogs, a love of cats and Michael Jackson, and a budding interest in females.

In 1989, Tom relocated to Daphne, Alabama, where he became interested in the piano, drums, guitar, mathematics, writing, and comedy. His fondness of women continued to bloom.

In 1995, Tom moved to Mobile, Alabama, whereupon he became involved in the disciplines of Physics, spirituality, performance art, and recreational drug use. He began to develop meaningful relationships with women, and made intimate, physical contact with more than one.

In 1999, Tom moved to Tuscaloosa. He was not very happy there, though he did enjoy babysitting his nieces. Here he learned what not to do in a romantic relationship with a woman.

A few years later, he moved to Auburn, Alabama, where he continued his work in the food service industry, among other things.

Currently, Tom resides in Montgomery, Alabama, where he is on a 30-day unpaid suspension from his job, and is, honestly, quite bored.
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