When myfamily lived in Virginia, I did my first drug deal. I was a look out for my older sister’sboyfriend. He dealt, and I watched forcops. At the time, I was only 6 yearsold.

When my family lived in Maine, at the age of ten, I experienced my first cigarette and my firstbeer while I was playing little league. Even though, I had experienced those things, I was happy child, in ahappy family.

When I lived in California, when I barely turned 14 yearsold, I experienced my first joint and my first party. From that day on I kepton partying. I was having fun! But that was the beginning of me not being agood role model for my little sisters.

When I was 17 years old, my mother was sick, so I had tostep up, and start taking care of her and my little sisters. My sisters always complained about me helpingmy mother out. I made my mother’s breakfast, lunch, and sometimes, I made herdinner. I made sure my two littlesisters had dinner, done their chores, and their homework, before our father got home. That’s when Istarted drinking and partying to the point, it wasn’t a party anymore, but wasjust an everyday thing. I wasn’t having Fun anymore; I was trying to escape myreality. I was trying to fill this emptiness, this void in my heart. That wasthe beginning of me hanging out with gangs and preps, and so call, partyingwith them, and always being late for class.

By the age of 19, I was sleeping around, girl after girl. Iwas dealing drugs with gangs in my neighborhood, all while attending college,and hanging out with them. I was 21years old when I dropped out of college and started smoking cigarettes,snorting coke, smoking meth, and continuing on smoking weed just to fill thisvoid in my heart. That was my every dayroutine, not a party.

By the age of 22, my mother had passed away. I had no tearsfor her. My dad told me the reason for it, is because I knew she was going todie. After that, I was trying to fill this void in my heart with this strangerelationship where this girl and I just used each other. I fell in love withher. She helped me through my mother’s death. When we were together, she would always cheat on me. I stayed with herthough because we both needed each other. I started cutting my arms, just tofill something other than my heart ache.

I was 23 years old, and I was without a job for nine months.I was trying to escape from my drama life, the popularity, and trying to find ajob. So I moved by myself out to Arizona. I prayed to God, for him to help mefind a job and a place of my own, so I could move my fiancé out here. Ipromised God I wouldn’t mess with meth ever again. He answered my prayer, andsince then, I’ve been clean off of meth and coke. A month later, my fiancébroke up with me. That was the beginning of my depression; I was basicallygoing on the same path as my mother.



I got my driver license, when I was 25 years old. That’swhen I started going out to the clubs, and drinking even harder than before. When I was 26 years old I got my first D.U.I.and totaled my truck. That same year, my best friend, who helped me out morethan my family, who was like a father to me, had gone and drove his motorcycleoff the road, and killed himself, leaving his wife and two sons behind. Myheart was broken.

By the age of 28, Igot involved in a relationship that only lasted a week. I broke it off, due tothe fact that this relationship reminded me of all my other relationships. Iwas angry. I was upset. I was at thepoint to where if anybody said the wrong thing to me, I would have snapped. Iwas looking for a fight, to fill this void in my heart. God had spoken to me amonth ago about going to church, but I ignored him. I had only two options;Option number one, go to the doctor and get some “happy pills”, and end up likemy mother. Or option number two, do as God had asked you to do, and go tochurch. At that time, I didn’t believe in church.

June 5th, 2011, was when I went to the altar, I gave my life to the Lord Jesus Christ, the one who took my sins, my drugs, my sorrows, my pain, my anger, my emptiness, my broken heart, and cleansed my soul. Jesus replaced all that, and put Joy into my heart. Now I’m not lost nor broken inside. I’m now a new born Christian. I thank God for my salvation, and all that he has done for me. My father is proud of me, and I know my mother would have been proud of me, too, if she was still alive today. I’m now a good role model for my sisters, nieces, and nephews!

My name is Rolands Lizotte, and if this is your story, leave your pride at the door, and come to the altar. Jesus can do the same to you as he has done for me.