Hey there, after 2 months of conquering countries of South East Asia and Australia with our grinding orchestra, we are safely back, if healthy – we'll see later.. It was a great tour and another great experience for us after Latin America in 2008. We just wanna say a few words about it and to say cheers to all those people who deserve that and helped us to make this to happen..

THAILANDÂ

Great, really peaceful country (ok, last weeks violent demonstration show something else..), plenty of good food (ok, fried grasshoppers and worms are not our favourite, haha) and full of nice, helpful people (without an exception!). Arriving wasn't easy as we got stuck at immigration for a quite long time, because of the lack of documents we needed to get our visa‘s on arrival as they were all in our backpacks, more than an hour left unattended at the pick up point in a hall.., then we lost for several hours our bassist at the airport, haha. But in the end, after leaving on thursday morning our homes, we all gathered via Prague – Aš – Frankfurt – Kuwait – Kuala Lumpar at the airport in Bangkok and left it on friday midnight for the city. Sorry to Chot for waiting soooo long for us there! Anyway, thanks must go definitely to Boy from Masochist, Lacerate, etc.. Fucking great hospitality from this guy, really big big thanks to him for all the care (he really took care of EVERYTHING) in Bangkok and also for getting our tour t-shirts ready, printed directly over there (hey man, what about the rest finally?! haha). One of the best gigs we have played for sure, unfort. we suffered broken distortion and cabels, which I borrowed right before the show, causing my guitar going on and off, which was very annoying, especially for me, uhm.. Really sorry for that! We also sold huge amount of merch as never before, had supreme accommodation all the time and so on.., packed Rock Pub in ........Bangkok and Boy with his crew simply rule, we couldn‘t wish better start! Mr. Hell, thanks for driving us in your crazy city, man! Secondly cheers and greets toTawan from Sonillon who was our guide on the north in Chiang Mai, where we got after 13 hours on train, after a few days in the capital. And again big help to us, mercilessly supplying us with Chang beers and other spirits, showing us local wild life during nights and days, reserving places to stay in his family runned hotel, all ending with more than decent show on Thursday night in Kabot Bar. We had another fucking great time with you bro! Cheers also to Phil, Chai,Tatiana and other guys we partied with! Heading back south the next day and 16 hours on a bus this time. There is a kingdom of Rayn from Failure Trace, managing saturday's gig right on the Phala beach near Rayong for us. Staying in a cosy challey just a few metres from the ocean and the sandy gig spot, we couldn't feel better. The gig itself wasn't very well attended, but was really unique for its location and friendly atmosphere all long. A good first step to make it even better and more well known event when time for the part II comes. Next few days we just loved, mixing drinking and eating at allied Nong Ping Sea Food restaurant, swimming in the ocean and making trips around. Such a hard life on tour, oh yeah, heh! Hey Rayn, say thanx once again to Poui and her parents for saving our asses, when taking us back home from that bloody touristic trap called Koh Samet island! ; ) Must mention, that all 3 guys worked nicely together and managed to take care of all the transportation in Thailand + even collect enough bucks to book us flight tickets to Philippines. Respect! All was just so smooth, we couldn‘t believe it. Whatever was agreed, held true. That counts. Once again big thanks to all of you! I would recommend anyone wishing to play in Thai to work with these guys.

PHILIPPINES

Moving to Philippines, oh yeah. If I don‘t count on beautiful beaches and unique nature, smooth landing, organizators holding welcoming poster at the airport with our logo and picking us up from there, meeting after xx years of correspondence Joselito Sional from Noise Attack, unfortunatelly dissapointment. Bad organization, tragic place of stay in Manila, lack of communication among the organizators and too many misunderstunding and plain promises killed our good time while hanging out over there and playing shows, which were all cool btw, if considering just playing itself (Manila gig was long, but awesome, Noise Project Conspiracy rules! yeah!, but shame Paraconflict couldn’t play, hey Humar!) After this philippino leg we suffered really serious financial troubles as we didn't get payed almost anything, even if the agreement with Roman Paul from Sampcore Collective, the philippino "manager", was „a bit“ different. No transport was booked in advance, which lead us to book last minute, expensive flights on spot by ourselves and actually even almost not getting to Philippines itself as immigration officers in Thailand demanded onwarding flight from the country, which wasn't booked at all, eventhough I asked for that xx times and xx weeks before (Boy, who was there at the airport with us, could say what a hell it was..). Fucking stressful. The worst minutes on tour during the immigration check, definitely. Due to that we also had to cancel our show in Borneo in Samarinda as there was no transport booked early enough + not available at all later on, which we were really pissed off about as it was arranged on a kinda special place for us, where not many bands go to play..(Once again sorry to all Balikpapan/Samarinda grinders for that!) So, Roman, Darwin and other guys from Manila, next time tell the band the truth what you can or I would rather say, you can not do, straight at the beginning, instead of talking fairytales and pulling our noses. Fun to hang out with you, thanx for accompanying us while sightseeying in your city, but unfort. thats not all, there are some responsibilities too.. 2 shows, in Lucena and Bulacan were canceled a week before the tour started, because of our financial demands, WTF?!?, with an extra show on island in Cebu (cheers to great bands like Patyon & Vampire State), where Kenji, Jan, Mitz, Dexter, Greendel, etc.., did take great care of us, supported with great accom. in a challey in the mountains and in a hotel very near to the venue the second day, with plenty of food, but still, we had to pay expensive flight there and also night ship to get to Davao by ourselves, which wasn't fun. Nobody told guys in Cebu we needed some cash for that and nobody told us we play for free, all ending with that, that we "probably" get some money in Davao from Butcho/Disarmament, the organizator over there. And again, same down on the south, nice people to hang out with (Von, Babo, Astrobal, Mike from Cagayan, etc..), had stayed a week in the house of a great girl called Chay, going to the beaches, but again just ridiculous amount of 30 euro after succesful show in Davao in Durian bar with Human Mastication an co.., even if the extra flights we had to book (instead of going to Borneo) from Davao for Jakarta via Manila, costed us fucking 1500. And again, Butcho calls on bad communication and some misunderstunding in dealing with Roman, who actually after all the troubles he had seen, promised us to send some of those promised money. Still waiting.., for money and even for his reply to explain us all the faux pas. Maybe it will happen after posting this report.. We‘ll see, it‘s not about getting a few bucks back anymore, we needed them on tour, not now, but more about showing some kind of respect for a band and standing behind the words. We understand, that people can not afford much there, it’s a poor country, but then why those neverending empty promises.. Must mention also an extra show in Panabo near Davao, which Butcho got for us, where we played in a basketball hall and drank many those ultra high voltage killer beers called Red Horse, heh, that was nice. But all in all, the stress with booking last minute flights with all the emergency money we had ready for Australia and worries if we get there or there on time or not or not at all, with me having 3 weeks of fucking 20 times a day pissing shit from some bloody food I ate the first day, together with a pleasant constant fiever, spoiled my (or I can afford to say ours) time in Philippines. Sorry for all those negative words, but that’s how I see it after our almost 2 weeks stay.

INDONESIA

Uff.., back to some better experiences. Indonesia, eventhough we heard many negative comments and awaited "hell", it suprised us really a lot. Unlike Philippines, we knew from the beginning we get the simpliest conditions possible. We were not happy about that, of course, but the organizators were fair enough to tell us that at the very beginning, so we could count on that. Actually to plan Indo leg was the most difficult one, really many guys involved in the scene, but on the other side I couldn‘t get for a long time in touch with "the right ones" beying able to help and to be in contact regurlarly. Also a week before our shows there were on road italians Bestial Vomit and Kazamate, who "scooped" us most of the places and promoters we wanted to use.. Hey, cheers you bastards, hehe! In the end we fixed 4 shows, ....1 in Jakarta with Proletar guys, which was a bit affected by changing the venue 3x, leading to not really a packed house, big sponzored gig in Bandung with Putrid Pile (usa) and ....2 in paradise in Bali, bigger one at club in Denpasar, and smaller, but wilder, in a pub in Kuta, great located near to the world famous, amazing Kuta Beach. Greetings and thanx for Jakarta one go definitely to the promoter Indra from Soul Are, Joe from Charvaka, where we could stay in his huge house after the gig and other guys like Dimas, Revan, etc.., who accompanied us from the picking up at the aiport till the last wave when leaving by bus for Bandung. There belong all the cheers to Eko from Deep Insight agency, who take his gigs really profesionally, big venue, lot of crew (too many of them I would say, many useless young girls - thanx, but we dont really need anybody to open wilfully our bags and take out our merch for us), high service for bands, but also high entrance fee though.. Very different from all those d.i.y. gigs we've played till that time, but can not say better actually, we felt a bit strange there among all those mainly death metal people.., not bad, just strange, small shows on the floor are probably what we were born for, hehe. Visiting of Bandung was just a short one, we hurried to Jogyakarta (probably not fast enough as half of us missed the last "normal" train and went there by chicken night class special, haha), where we wanted to take another train for Malang, to play at half promised local grind fest with Bestial Vomit and Kazamate. But for some, to me, really silly reasons - like too many bands playing already or not having time to "take care of us" and so on, we were refused in the end. Well, funny to hear that as I was trying to get on this fest for around 2 months, searching for info about that throughout the whole Indonesia. Not mentioning, we wanted to play completely for free, with food and finding place to sleep by ourselves, of corpse. Simply we were not somehow wanted there by Mr. Yoyox, but ok, his decision, fair enough. At least we had time to spend our extra day off with Ryl the drummer of Charvaka in Jogya and see one of the wonders of the world, temple Borobudur. Must say, this Malang thing was the only dissapointment in the whole Indonesia, otherwise just perfect. Indra, Joe, Eko, etc.. did more for us than they had to and more than we expected, thanx a lot! Mustn't forget our Bali experience, without Mr. Agung Krishna from local grinding squad Error Scream it couldn't happen, great 4 days at this place. And again, this guy did so much for us and definitely spent more than he had to, considering he had 3 international bands to take care of, which made all the organization for him even more difficult, for sure. Shame we couldn't stay longer and make similar experience like BV with their month long purely indonesian tour. Wanna get back definitely and explore it more! Very nice country! Nasi goreeeng!

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AUSTRALIA

This is so far and so expensive destination to get there and to stay, that we actually never realistically thought of touring it, eventhough it‘s a dream of everyone, of course, especially us, people from Europe. Originaly it wasn't in the tour plan to go there as South/East Asia is more than enough for one trip, but during booking Asia, after I spoke with a few ozzies and looked on the map how close we were, the temptation was more powerful and we decided to spend more time and money and visit also Down Under. Who knows if there would another chance to do that in the nearest future...

We started with a flight from Denpasar in Bali to the west cost in Perth. Worries about getting through tough immigration were quickly gone, suprisingly the easiest crossing border so far, minimum questions, minimum bag checking, no entrance fee, ok, why not, hehe. In Perth we were under wings of Dan from Death Fucking Cunt, fucking great guy, who let us stay at his house, where we ate and drank like kings for several days. He also drove us alongside with his bassist Bradley for some trips around this great spacious outskirt, to the beaches, Freemantle port and also made cool show at the Castle club for nearly 200 people, which almost covered our bloody 600 bucks expensive flight to Adelaide next morning. Cheers man, couldn't be better welcoming to your country! Adelaide, was on contrary from Perth really quick one day stop. Here we must thanx to more than cool guy called Keegan, singer from great old school grind band Death - Cult Jock or Space Bong. Almost 100 people on the show in cosy pub, but unfort. the gig went really slow and when we played deep in the morning as last ones, there wasn't even half of them left. But the real grind hard core stayed and made just great atmosphere for us, cheers duuudes! Must mention also common sense attitude of the club Squatters Arms, which actually gave us money for playing at their place, instead of Keegan paying to the club for making show there. That helps for sure. Total opossite to normal customs, where pubs usually ask organizators for horrible rents.. To Melbourne we travelled over 10 hours by bus to see at least something from the countryside. Slightly over 40 grindheroes awaited us at the legendary Arthouse on this shity sunday date. Well, could've been worse, but also even a bit better, hehe. Then 3 chilled out days at the place of Rohan from Captain Cleanoff, thanx bro! Personally I would stay in Melbourne forever straight away, awesome city! But the same can say about Tasmania, thats really natures paradise, pitty we didn't have more time to explore all the national parks. Thanksgiving belong to Chris, drummer from superb band called Now You're Fucked, who was our MAN in Tassie the whole time. He got for us a smaller, but very friendly show in Hobart at Brisbane Hotel and a big one for about 250 maniacs in Launceston on the north with Psycroptic. Another top organizator, definitely, all what was agreed was done twice better, alongside with Chris there was no space for any kind of doubts or troubles. This guy sacrificed his precious time and money for showing us many interesting places around, plus driving us all the way to Launceston, which was just invaluable. Also greets to his wife Lil for lovely barbecue and Joey for allowing us to stay at his place in the wilderness in Taroona. Not forgetting Launceston guys, esp. Simon from Zero Degrees Freedom, who eventhough this was kind of an extra gig, based on "free" conditions and could've kept all the income, wasn't stingy and supported us very decently, why not to say - with 500 bucks and whats more - also with unlimited beers, heheh - a dream! Driving to bush after the gig, sleeping in little challey among kangaroos (hey Sam!) was just the perfect end of fairy - tale time in Tasmania. Next day fast move for the capital - Sydney. Big cheers to mighty Bubsy from Grindhead Recs for 2 well done shows there and cool accom at his nice flat full of thousands cds and dvds, heh. Both gigs at the same pub "The Town & Country Hotel", each day with slightly different kind of bands. Saturday's show was more into death/grind, around 80 freaks, Sunday with more crusty/punk grupies (Deathcaaage - oh yeah!) and for about half crowd less than a day earlier, but from our side much better performance as we we're not so tired from all the travelling as the first day. Definitely need to say also hello to Roadside Burial guys, who played with us both gigs. Great old school grind core band! Maybe we counted on slightly bit more beans from this weekend than 600, as just taxi to the airport in Sydney, flying to the last destination in Brisbane, taxi to the city there and especially flight back to Kuala Lumpur costed us more than bloody 2000 bucks, but Sunday is just Sunday, we couldn't expect miracles. Same in Brisbane, we didn't expect much on Wednesday, but something like 15 people and 15!!! dollars as travel money, which wasn't even enough to get back home with the city bus, was a pure shock, haha. Then we found out, that the soundman for that shitty sound today got 70, we had little talk with the organizator Lochlan, singer from Ironhide, leading in bringing us another 50.. Must add eventhough the gig was confirmed 2 months ago, there was no other info about it till the last week before the show. Apparently the original organizator pulled off in the end, with Lochlan taking over the show at the last minute, so not purely his fault in all this disaster.. But anyway, unfortunatelly this last gig with the lowest attendance, the worst sound, worst promotion, the least money, care and zero organization, was probably the only bad experience in Australia, otherwise all was just perfect and always fair - play, with feeling of maximum support from all the organizators. Financially all the stay was very expensive, but as our men in charge kept their words about conditions, we always somehow managed to get more or less enough to cover at least transportation to the next place with the only exception, which was the last flight from Gold Cost (Brisbane) to Kuala Lumpur, where there was actually nobody to pay for and those 1600 was the actual minus after our Aussie trip. Regarding Brisbane stay, must mention Tom Callaghan from already some time dead label Machismo Prod., who released our first stuff, which was 7"ep split with Cause of Effect in 98'. This guy together with his girlfriend, having nothing in common with organization of the gig itself, simply saved our asses. Starting with giving us his house available for couple of days to stay in, showing us the city, guiding us to the jungle, to the one of the greatest beach ever - the Surfers Paradise in Gold Cost and the most important, the last day early in the morning driving us once again to the 80km far away airport in Gold Cost, which would otherwise costed us a fortune and lots of wasted time on public transport, all just for our neverending and unforgetable thank you and us becoming his payers till forever.. THANX BRO! THANX AUSTRALIA!

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MALAYSIA & SINGAPORE

Back to Asia. Back to rice :) Our last part of tour includes 3 shows in Malaysia and ....1 in Singapore in about a week time. At first place our regards & thanx belong to Kia from Symphonic Blast, the malaysian Curby, hehe. Like Boy in Thailand, also Kia worked closely together with all the other organizators, which lead to clear and fulfilled conditions by all of them and easygoing and covered transportation between cities. After 7 weeks of all those worries with nothing sure how all will be the next day and with reliefing feelings of successful conquer of the most farest destinations in Down Under, we felt that last week in these surely exotic lands just simply relaxing and so smooth going as we were somewhere at home in Czech. First show at packed Kia's Allunan Symphony studio, kind of mix of 2 public practise rooms and metal shop in one, which also became our base camp for the whole time, was nice relaxed show with very friendly, but crazy moshing people all around (Hey Hisham/SMG!) Bus trip to Johor Bahru on the south the next day then. Apex from Apex Terror organizing. Unfort. can say maximally "hi" to him as he didn't aprroach us for the whole time of the show.. All the things we were arranging with "I payed for your food already" guy, called Fahmi (you wanker, heh!), owner of Embrace Hall - a flat with a huge concrete hall as kinda living room, which he lets other people to rent to make gigs (unique and awesome place need to say) and Shaiful, organizator from Singapore show the next day, who came up to JB with bunch of other maniacs to see also this show. JB show was well done too, with great bands like Wormrot, Proletar or Damokis. I just maybe expected slightly more people and bigger moshpit than it was in the end as the reputation of the place and our expectations were really high, but nothing tragic though.. Sleeping at the concrete of fame, heh. Third day, third gig and around 20 maniacs crossing together to just over the bridge far away Singapore. Proletar guys with their numerous indo crew, Wormrot guys and Aziz from Scrotum Jus recs. and so on.. Easily all entering our last country and in a while observing Blackhole, a bit similar place to Embrace Hall, meeting co - organizator Mary, taking part of us for lunch. Many, 9 bands playing again, Magnicide ruled, Pazahora blew it up with their sad, melodic crust, Wormrot as an extra act, which is great, fucking awesome band! Enough heads on the show, but dissapearing with the time coming up, which affected especially Proletar, who were suprisingly watched just by dozens of people. For the third time for me and the best for sure, finally good sound, just pitty about that empty hall.. Cool afterparty afterwards ;). Sunday time for sightseeying of this voted the cleanest city in the world with Azean, Arif, Aziz and co.. And also one of the most expensive must say, big jump to come here from Malaysia.. Except of the beautiful island Sentosa where we were joined on the beach by Mary and Wati, there is not much to see actually. All very modern, skyscrapers, tourist traps.., nothing for us. Otherwise all just more than fine here, thanx Mary, Shaiful & the whole Blackhole crew for a chance to play and stay there couple of days and Azean with other Wormrot guys for beying our guides and having really great time togehter! Last show remaining, tuesday, Kuala Lumpur the second time. Monday day off in a hostel in medieval town Melaka, where we where originally supposed to play, but it didn’t work out somehow. Well, except of little hill with ruines of church, nothing interesting there actually, historically important maybe, but nowadays practically not much to see anymore. Back in KL at Noisy Studio in Ampang and cheers to Duan for this final show on tour with for a weekday very good and mad audience of about 50 people. Must mention band called Compulsion to Kill, fucking awesome old school crusty grinding guys, oh yeah! Sleeping at Duan's monkey flat, with him, his girlfriend and Jil, going for a trip to jungle and Batu Caves. Thursday the second of April, Kia man is taking us to the airport and again via Kuvait, arriving in Frankfurt with car pick up by Kotli from brothers Empty Feeling and after 2 months on road we are safely back in our hometown Aš. Couple of days off and back to our old jobs, where they were so nice and waited for all of us the whole 2 months, while touring. Maybe can mention also the total balance spent, which might interest some of you, if planning similar trip. Each of us is short of about 2000 bucks in total, incl. all the flights, insurance, pocket money and so on.. It is a lot of money of course, all our savings are gone, esp. if you come from the Czech Rep., where the income is not so high as in western countries, but for such a long time on road with so many new unforgetable wholelife experience and new friends, it's worth it. So, thanks to ALL again, for good times, of course and even for those harder ones, which helped us to become stronger. After 4 months in Latin America in 2008, this was just another extraordinary experience. Right now we are focusing on recording some new tracks finally and already planning another crazy and massive tour for 2011 to celebrate Onanizer's 15 years anniverssary. Grind on!!Karel the Chessgrinder

Pictures from the tour you can find at www.flickr.com/photos/onanizer4 www.flickr.com/photos/onanizer5 and www.flickr.com/photos/onanizer6