David Was born 23. September 1898 in a cold Russian village on the north of Russia. The evil wizard cursed him into a stone statue. Over 100 years he was waiting for a rescue. Then suddenly! Beautiful princess fell in love with him and kissed him (which was disgusting, cause he was cover in pigeons shit, but the princess was a pervert anyway). So he became a human again. But he was in 20th century, no clothes and there was a crazy girl that considered herself to be a princess. He decided to run to England. After a month of horse riding he finally arrived to London. Still naked and covered in pigeons shit he applied for a scholarship in a music college in London. Luckily, his old friend Funky Lizard was that time in the Buckingham Palace, so he asked him if he can teach David to play guitar and sing over a night. Funky Lizzie was like "Sure mate!" did some voodoo stuff and David became a musician and formed a band David Pear and Apocalyptic Monkeys!