so you wanna know about me do ya? well i was born in West Bend Wisconsin at 1:29 AM on April 29, 1986...i was a pretty cute baby, mom and dad never had a name picked out for me until mom first held me in her hands...looked into my eyes and said "thats a david." yes my name is David and there are only a few people i will allow to call me that, i hate the name honestly cause of its use in the bible, i refuse to listen to anything the bible says cause it was not written by god, it was written by man...period...i had a normal childhood filled with sadness and laughter just like the rest of them, had a friend who used to live on the street i am now living on still, best of friends for life we used to say to each other, it was even his idea that we use the song Best Friend from Queen as our theme as brothers...then when high school came around he decided i was shit and told me one day that the only reason he became my friend was because he felt bad that i didnt have any friends...15 years of brotherhood and he just ends it because he has other friends now that think im shit and bad for him...i stayed true to him as a brother for a very long time...first betrayal and it wont be the last...after that happened, life was very painful...tried committing suicide 4 times total in my high school years...life was incredibly hard for me to live, had alot of friends but only one true friend who i still call Family, Katelyn Bonlender, shes been there through it all, not as much anymore which makes me very sad, shes always been my rock to this fucked up world and life i live...the family who lives here..near me, Stark, Adam, James, Justin, Mom, Dad, D, Kake...i go to them when i need true help...and yes i smoke dammit, i know its gonna kill me in the end, i know that and i blame myself for starting, only started cause i wanted to know why mom couldnt just stop...well i get it now dont i...when it comes to love with me, im old school and old fashioned, im commited to that one person and that one person ONLY, dont ever doubt me when its just me and you, same goes with friends, dont ever doubt me over bullshit, Loyalty and Honesty is very important to me, i dont fuck around with Love...ive been hurt before...had me a girlfriend once...even lost my virginity to her, she decided i wasnt good enough and at a party at her house she decided to cheat on me in front of me when i was there with my brother but because i was raised to step away from violence no blood was ever shed that night...had it been shed, i would be in prison for murder right now, i would of killed my brother and he knows it...after that, he kept telling me how sorry he was and how terrible he felt and how he would keep his word and never date her...what are they doing now...going on almost a full year of being together...and i dont care if he see's this one day and doesnt like what he hears but hes letting her control him, shes shit and enjoys controlling and destroying a mans heart if she doesnt get what she wants, i forgave her for what she did to me but that doesnt mean i have to like her...i can tolerate her because i respect him, hes pussy whipped cause of her, strongest willed man i ever known in my life and he let his strength get taken over cause of a bitch...what ever happened to us both in tears and promising each other, "Bro's Before Hoes"...to this day i will NEVER forgive him for what hes done to my heart, still hurts to think about him and what he did...ive been over the bitch for a long time but i will NEVER forget what hes done to me...then after all that...met a girl who even to this day still have incredibly strong feelings for, she knows who she is, she'll prolly even read this, talked to her today, felt absolute warmth come over my heart but i also have this feeling that it might not ever happen with me and her again...i couldnt get over my ex and i hurt her...still tears me up inside how that ended...ill never forgive myself for the way i treated that situation and how i hurt her but i try everyday to do good on my part and be there for her...just got out of a relationship recently too..yea...pure untainted true love...tahts what i gave her and she couldnt handle it cause it was new to her, the purity of it was too much but i dont know how else to love someone, its who i am...im still connected with this girl and i will not allow myself to EVER have enemies...after the pain has set in and i start to deal with it in my own way i always make sure to try my best to stay friends with that person and keep whatever care and love we have for each other in tact enough to be family for life...love is what i do...its the only thing im good at besides writing...yes im a writer, nothing has been published yet and ive been told by countless people that i should try to get something published, if you wanna see my stuff published by all means, take it a submit it somewhere, cause i honestly dont see anything worlthy of publishment, its just me and my heart writing...my Soul Sisters and Brothers are very important to me, recently hardly anyone has been talking to me and i dont understand why, i am there EVERYDAY for them doing what i do, spreading the love and helping them become stronger in that moment, i will not settle for anything less, i refuse to let anyone give up, i have not given up yet and i wont ever...ive come to ending it all a few times in my life...recently too...but like family, they showed up and fought off all my pain and sadness to keep me here and alive...one in paticular...had he not appeared online and said something to me...i wouldnt be here right now, no bullshit...i love my soul sisters and brothers so very much and would do absolutely anything for them and they all know i absolutely enjoy talking to them, they make my heart feel safe and warm...there are a few who seem to forget that right now and i dont know why, i know they would never intentionally hurt me but just by them not speaking a word to me, hurts enough...a hi would be great to hear from them and a "how you doing" would be even better, 3rd time...i love my Soul Brothers And Sisters with every thing i have in my heart and if they dont know that by now then they were never listening to begin with...dont ever hurt me, people tell me alot that i am truly a very Unique person that they never thought existed...i am me and i refuse to change anything about myself for anyone, the second you try to change me cause of something you dont like, were done....also...i absolutely love my Mother And Father, dad and i dont get along too well like i would like too but i love him just the same, i dont get to say it enough to him...and my mother is my BFF...i tell her everything, granted sometimes it makes her uncomfortable but it was me and her everyday for 26 years, thats not something you take lightly, so if you ever give me shit about still living at home, you can go fuck yourself, id love to get out of the house and live on my own, living my way but i also have no problem living where i am right now...i would go insane without seeing my mother at least once a day and spending time with her...i love her dearly, like only a dedicated son to a mother can. i care for alot of people, its how big my heart really is and i keep them close at all times but i will ALWAYS have a special spot for that one that i will meet one day...that spot is empty right now and will remain empty until you truly understand the kind of love you will receive from me, totally pure and true perfect love, commitment to you and you alone, period...but until that one person really understand that then ill prolly be alone for a very long time...thats all for now, my fingers hurt really bad from all this typing, id keep going but they really do hurt...and i gotta pee...so i shall speak at you all later.



im gonna be adding this to the note cause its huge as well, "one thing you must learn about me, im not a modern day man, im not about the bullshit, i dont do drama, i refuse to treat women any other way then perfection, i was raised old school and around women my entire life, i know pain just as much as the next girl, im a sensative man and i pour everything i have in my heart to that one person that i do truly fall for...dont ever treat me like a second rate man, you will hurt me and hurt me bad, dont ever lie to me cause i will never lie to you, period, learned a long time ago that lieing creates problems, another thing you must know is that when i get into a relationship with a girl, i dont drink heavily, i refuse, i have personally seen first hand what it will do to a relationship when its introduced into the mix of love...destroys it, kills it and mangles its structure...so i say again..I REFUSE to drink heavily if she is not there at my side with me...its no secret that i help alot of people, i have made alot of family over the years because of it, you ever personally hurt my family, i will not stop until you receive my full message on what i think of you and if you give me any grief again, ill take it very personally...to those girls who doubt love, dont EVER doubt it with me, im old school, im dedicated to you and you alone, PERIOD, you ever doubt me and ill see it as you dont trust me and if that happens we'll never work out, i commit myself to you and ONLY you, i will not look at another woman that way i look at you and feel about you and strive to keep you strong, I AM OLD SCHOOL AND OLD FASHIONED WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE!!! i am not a new school lover, so until you truly understand what that means, we'll never work out cause ill always worry about you and ill always wonder if you even truly understand the kind of love im giving you, pure love of its greatest form, i dont fuck around with it, you better be damn sure you know what your doing when you wanna capture my heart, cause i take love very seriously...first girl i ever loved, lied to me for over a year...i thought it was me and her...and thats it...then one day on the phone she told me she was getting married...yea...over a year...she lied to me...my first love...thats not how first loves are suppose to end but it did...pure untainted love is what i give and if you arent ready to understand and accept it then dont both trying to capture me in your heart...."