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You can keep your rose ceremony, we want hot tubs, and Hardwick.

Reality TV dating shows, the craziest of which usually aired between the hours of 11pm-2am, were where we found comfort in seeing how truly terrible, and ridiculous, dating can be. There were no extravagant dates, or rose ceremonies, like on certain dating shows today, but there were hot tubs, buses full of potential significant others, and if you were lucky, Chris Hardwick.

Here are 8 dating shows we think should make a comeback.

Blind Date

The king of all late night dating shows, Blind Date featured thought bubbles that revealed the obvious, a cartoon therapist who dissected dating habits and a world where damned near everyone had a hot tub. Seriously, what was the percentage of dates on Blind Date that ended in a hot tub? The number has to be pretty high. One date that didn’t end in a hot tub was the episode that starred a young radio disc jockey named Ryan Seacrest. The now all-powerful Seacrest has managed to have almost every piece of evidence of his appearance on Blind Date wiped off the planet, but there are still a select few who remember.

Singled Out

Chris Hardwick before the Nerdist fame, and Jenny McCarthy before she decided she had a medical degree, Singled Out featured 50 guys and 50 girls who were systematically eliminated based on their answers to a series of questions. Jennifer Love Hewitt once starred in an episode, as did former pro wrestler Tammy Lynn Sytch (aka Sunny), and a pre-Black Eyed Peas era Fergie, from back when she was a member of the girl group Wild Orchid. Mel Torme even appeared in an episode to judge a contestant’s ability to sing like him.

Singled Out was immortalized in the world of scripted television on an episode of Boy Meets World, as Eric Matthews searched for his Miss Right.

Shipmates

You want more Hardwick, you say? Thankfully, the dating show gods gave us just that with Shipmates, a show hosted by Chris Hardwick that decided so many things can go wrong on blind dates, why not put two people who’ve never met each other before on a boat together and see what happens. I’m mildly shocked no one was ever lost at sea due to Shipmates, as I’m sure quite a few people wanted to throw their dates overboard.

Elimidate

What’s better than one blind date? How about four blind dates at once! Elimidate was built on the gimmick of having one person date four people simultaneously, eliminating one after each round, culminating in the decision regarding which would be their match. Most of the “dates” turned into the four daters trying to tear the others down, and since dating shows are all about drama, this was grade-A late night viewing.

Next

OK, so now we have FIVE potential daters, but you date one at a time, and the only way you get to see the next one is by giving up the current one, and shouting, “Next!” Rude? Heck yeah, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this classic. The extremely lewd and suggestive introductions each dater made; the ridiculous tasks they had to complete as part of the “date” and the fact that they earned $1 for every minute they lasted on the date (which is something I’d like to see enacted in real life), were highlights of the show. It also never failed to be hilarious when the chosen dater would turn down a second date because they decided they preferred the meager payday that was usually around $40.

Change of Heart

The concept behind this show was pretty evil. Let’s take a couple that might not be in the best place, and have each of them date someone else to see if they really want to stay together, or if they’ll have a change of heart. Of course, an evil concept like that makes for great television...well, unless you’re The Game.


Rock of Love

There have been a plethora of celebrity dating shows, but the best of the best was Rock of Love. Part of what made Rock of Love work so well was that Bret Michaels was equal parts “this is awesome!” and “what the heck did I get myself into?!?” These feelings were echoed by everyone who tuned in to the show.

The women seeking Bret’s love were quite memorable, especially Ashley from Rock of Love Bus, with her drunken Confucian axioms, such as, “People who eat Basil are lame.” There was also the very hard to miss Brittanya, with her pierced dimples and epic body art. Actually, I could probably name far too many former Rock of Love girls, so I should stop now while I don’t seem totally crazy...

A Shot at Love

You didn’t think I was going to get through this entire column without mentioning former Myspace vixen Tila Tequila’s bisexual bed-hopping extravaganza, did you? Oh Tila, how we used to love thee. Although she’s a bit of a punch line now, the finale of the first season of A Shot at Love scored 6.2 million viewers, setting a record, at the time, as MTV’s most watched series telecast.

Tila now dabbles in being a Nazi sympathizer, so I’m not sure we should bring her back with the show, but I’m sure we could find an adequate replacement.

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