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With all these politicians running amuck, we focus on the 'Stranger Things.'

Every week I'll be here to reveal and review some of my favorite moments from the internet. Whether it be bingeing television shows, streaming sports, or simply getting lost in a YouTube rabbit hole, I'm here to give you my top picks every Friday, as well as the perfect pairing to get into an optimal headspace for themThis week, we're still bummed about the current state of American politics and distracting ourselves with horror movie news, great television, and cute shit from the internet.

Nightmares & Nostalgia

Recommended Pairing: An asthma inhaler and a paper boat.

I have a very vivid memory of seeing a copy of Stephen King's IT on my aunt's dresser when I was a young boy. I remember staring at the cover of the impossibly thick paperback and feeling shivers shooting through my spine. I remember thinking the book was evil, and that was before I knew anything about it, and certainly before this was a thing:

 
Tim Curry single-handedly ruined the careers of thousands of birthday party clowns across the country, but I loved it. I must have watched those two VHS tapes of IT a thousand times growing up. The last few times I watched those cassettes they were all garbled up and creaked and hissed before finally spilling their guts and ruining the VCR. It was a nice way to go out.
 
I rarely watch scary movies. I can't stand gore-porn and jump scares annoy me. So when I heard the guy responsible for the good season of True Detective was doing a feature reboot of IT, I was all in. Then he dropped out, so I was less enthused. But the new image of Bill Skarsgard as Pennywise has me cautiously optimistic.

 


Stranger Things

Recommended Pairing: A packet of PopRocks and a six pack of Jolt Cola.

Last week I learned a lot about my girlfriend when we binged all eight episodes of the brand new, instant classic, Stranger Things. I can't go into too much detail because I'd like to continue living and having a girlfriend, but suffice it to say the first few episodes scared the bejesus out of her.
 
What a great fucking show.
 
 
I've been describing it as Steven Spielberg in the salad days of Amblin Entertainment taking on a Stephen King short story and adapting it for cable television. Everything is perfect. The casting, the direction, the music... everything, right down to the font for the title card.
 
I don't want to spoil anything, I just want to encourage everyone to watch. I'm looking forward to writing more about it when more details come out about season two. (Please God don't let this go all True Detective on us.)
 


Party Favors

Recommended Pairing: Whatever the Clinton's shove down our throats.

After last week's Republican National Convention shit show, I wasn't really looking forward to seeing what the "sane" party had in store for us. Luckily, right before it got started Julian Assange dropped us some sweet wikileaks that confirmed all of the conspiracy theories the Bernie Bros (and Bras) had been screaming about: Hillary Clinton IS the Democratic Party and Bernie Sanders never really had a chance. 
 
More evidence of the depths of the collusion can be found in this simple statement I'm starting to see pop up all over the internet: 

"Wikileaks has confirmed that Bernie Sanders was cheated out of the election...but how? How about this.....

"So we know Debbie Wasserman Schultz was the co-chair of Hillary's 2008 presidential run where she lost to Obama. So in order to lock down the nomination for 2016, Hillary had to get DWS in charge of the DNC and manipulate it from the inside.

"In order for this to work, they would not only have to get the current DNC chair to step down, but recommend DWS for the position. The Clinton's would have to promise the current chair something... Something more prestigious than being the head of the democratic party. So what would they get.....?

"According to http://rulers.org/usgovt.html#parties the person who stepped down from that position to have Obama appoint DWS was none other than....

"Tim Kaine."

Not fucking cool, dudes. Not cool at all.

On the bright side though, we saw amazing and historic speeches from the First Lady and the President of the United States, and a rousing pseudo-concession speech from Bernie. 

I think we all knew politics was a dirty business, but I doubt we ever could have imagined we were living literally in the House of Cards universe. One thing I took away from all of it is that Bernie won everything but the nomination.

The official Democratic platform reads like the same stump speech Senator Sanders has been giving for the past 15 months and a new generation of citizens has an idea of what they want their country to look like. Baby steps.

It's just insane that on the other side we have living, breathing, Burger King Mac & Cheetos deep fried douche talking directly to the Russians at a press conference asking them to hack the United States again. WTF?

I'm hoping some clever little Russian decides to try and find Trump's tax information and leak that to us all. 

 

In the Blue Shirt


Recommended Pairing: 
MDMA and decent headphones.

It's been a long week so here's something cute and cool to become obsessed with:
 

See how many little in-jokes you can find in these animations. What a perfect example of brain bleach for all the bullshit we had to put up with this week.
 
Thanks for this.
 
'Til next week...

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