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Sometimes, sequels just take it a step (or seven) too far.

Seven of 2016’s 10 highest earning films so far are sequels. One is a remake, one is a comic book adaptation, making Zootopia the only one of the bunch not based on an existing property. Of course, sequels are far from a new development—they’ve existed long before film, offering creators the chance to revisit past characters and successes in the interest of turning a profit or expanding upon a theme.

The Hollywood producers who make most of the film industry’s big decisions have gone particularly sequel crazy in recent years, adapting to a new media landscape where revitalizing or prolonging existing popularities is the closest thing to a surefire return on investment. It’s just good business sense, I know, but it’s difficult not to despair at the sheer volume of franchises major studios are churning out week after week, leaving little capital leftover for original films to be made within the studio system.

 

Die Hard: Year One

The sixth entry in the Die Hard franchise won’t be a proper sequel but rather a prequel, taking a fresh look at the everyman cop John McClane before the events of the first film at Nakatomi Plaza—you know, when he was just a regular cop trying to hold together his marriage from the opposite end of the country.

No matter the indestructible action icon, the sequels turned Willis’s character into, McClane was intended to be an ordinary lawman who rises to an extraordinary situation when the first film starts, so why tell an origin story that’s purposely unspectacular? Inserting a whole lot of action antics and CGI explosions would only undermine the arc of the 1988 original. At least there’s no way it could be worse than A Good Day to Die Hard. Right?

 

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Disney should count themselves lucky a film based on a theme park ride ever worked in the first place, but instead they continue to push their successful Pirates of the Caribbean franchise to its breaking point. The fifth (wait—there was a fourth?) installment in the swashbuckling series has Johnny Depp once again leading the cast with his entertaining yet sorely overused Jack Sparrow, alongside returning players Geoffrey Rush and Orlando Bloom (because what else is he gonna do) and newcomers Javier Bardem and Kaya Scodelario.

Disney is undeniably franchise-crazy, even compared to other studios, but they continue to rake in box office earnings by the billion. The Pirates sequel is yet another drop in the well of sequels the studio is producing that don’t inspire any sort of excitement in weary fans of the first couple films. All it really does is fill a few more Disney coffers and contribute to that increasingly pervading feeling that Hollywood simply can’t let any franchise die.

 

Alien: Covenant

Ridley Scott forgot most of what made his original Alien film great when he made 2012’s nonsensical, faux-philosophical prequel Prometheus. Here’s hoping he remembers when he returns to the franchise yet again for this prequel-sequel, wherein the crew of a ship called the Covenant—more religious allusions!—discover the remains of the original Prometheus crew, its only surviving member the synthetic David (Michael Fassbender).

Fassbender was a highlight of the first film despite his motivations making about as little sense as making an immediate recovery from aborting a hostile alien fetus, so it’s good to see him returning. More concerning is Scott’s plan to turn Prometheus into a four film series. Whatever happened to making one standalone film?

 

Jurassic World 2

Of course they’re making a sequel to Jurassic World—did you hear how much money it made? It’s simply the way this game works. Yet I can’t help feeling fatigued after director Colin Trevorrow’s hollow entry in Steven Spielberg’s landmark franchise, whose only great film is still the breathtaking original.

Trevorrow won’t be returning to direct, replaced by little-known Spanish director J.A. Bayona (The Impossible, The Orphanage) for the 2018 sequel, which will almost certainly net Universal a few more billion dollars whether I see it or not. I just hope Bayona can supplement his CGI dinosaurs with compelling characters and an interesting story. However, if the film follows the dangling plot thread from Jurassic World—the idea of weaponizing dinosaurs for warfare—I don’t have much hope.

 

Cars 3

Once, Pixar could do no wrong. While they’re still more than capable of churning out an immediate classic like Inside Out, they seem to only become fewer and farther in between as their annual release schedules become overrun with sequels, though what else can we expect from a company owned by Disney? The revolutionary animation studio’s release slate only has one original feature, the Dia de Muertos-set Coco (2017), surrounded by sequels like Finding Dory (2016), Toy Story 4 (2018) and Cars 3 (2017). While Toy Story 4 is aggravating for continuing a story that had already been concluded perfectly, it’s nothing compared to the cash-grab cynicism of Cars 3, yet another sequel to Pixar’s first stinker. It seems more motivated by merchandising profits than by creative investment, a disappointing development from a studio that once prided themselves on their “story first” mantra.

I should mention, the studio is also making an Incredibles sequel with director Brad Bird back at the helm, so at least there’s one Pixar sequel worth looking forward to.

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