Superheroes and American patriotism go hand in hand like stars and stripes and life and liberty.

But not every hero turns out to be Captain America. And sometimes slapping a customized verion of Old Glory on some spandex is about as good a combination as manifest and destiny.

In honor of Independence Day, we're going to school you in American Superheroism History 101 by looking at some of the comic book patriots who should be forgotten instead of saluted on this holiday.

(NOTE: Many of these characters have entered the public domain since their creation and rebooted to appeal to more modern sensibilities. For our purposes, though, we're sticking with the original interpretation like the Founding Fathers would've wanted.)

1. Yank and Doodle

Year Created: 1941

American Superheroism History Lesson: Rick (Yank) and Dick (Doodle)—identical twins who gained super-strength and invulnerability so long as they stayed close to one another—were too young to enlist to fight World War II. Instead, they fought Axis spies, fifth columnists and other threats to democracy at home in the good ol' U S of A. 

Grade: F+. This duo really is the alpha and the omega of lame patriotic heroes. 

2. U.S. Jones

Year Created: 1941

American Superheroism History Lesson: As a 1940s mystery man, U.S. Jones was pretty run of the mill. But as a paranoid disseminator of jingoist propaganda, this star-spangled adventurer was first rate. Outside of his comic book appearances, the character also sponsored a mail-in U.S. Jones national emergency kit that encouraged kids to uphold democracy, the Constitution and the Ten Commandments "at all costs." One of the club's 10 rules ordered members, "Know Your Neighbors: This could aid Cadets in helping those they know and trust as well as in identifying suspicious strangers."

Grade: D-. Have to admit, though, he does have a catchy name.

3. Yankee Girl

Year Created: 1945

American Superheroism History Lesson: Lauren Mason gained her powers of flight, super strength and invulnerability the best way anyone would want to gain those powers: in a dream after she fell asleep on a bench at the Statue of Liberty while World War II is raging in Europe and the Pacific. Besides granting her extraordinary abilities, what else did that dream do? Well, it told her to protect the American dream and fight for freedom stateside. Aren't you glad you asked?

Grade: D. Good thing Yankee Girl didn't have that dream where she was late for her high school math finals and ended up making out with her best friend's dad in front of the entire class.

4. Fighting Yank

Year Created: 1941

American Superheroism History Lesson: Most people who are visited by the ghost of their American Revolution ancestor usually use that moment as a time to re-evaluate their mental stability. But when that same ancestor shows you where a magical cloak is, that's when you decide to go all in and fight Nazis in a cape and a tricorn hat. 

Grade: D-. Apparently, heroes in tricorn hats and capes fighting the Axis powers were all the rage in World War II, because Fighting Yank is also a dead ringer for the Spirit of '76. 

5. Minute-Man

Year Created: 1941

American Superheroism History Lesson: That name, that costume, that name. You might be cooler than Batman's shit, but calling yourself Minute-Man totally undermines your crimefighting cred. Can you imagine how a saboteur would react when he hears, "Stop, fascist! Or face the wrath of Minute-Man, the One Man Army!" I'm pretty sure the Nazi response would be: "Das ist nicht das was die damen sagen!"¹

Grade: F. Even in World War II, branding mattered.

BONUS: U.S. 1

Year Created: 1983

American Superheroism History Lesson: Ulysses Solomon Archer isn't the broad patriotic symbol the other heroes are, but he does embody two enduring pieces of Americana: truck driving and CB radios. Archer was what every red-blooded American boy dreams of becoming: a star college quarterback, a holder of multiple science, engineering and computer degrees and an expert truck driver who built his own rig, which he called U.S. 1. (Get it?) Oh yeah, and aliens also tapped him, Last Starfighter fashion, to fly their spaceships. The only thing missing is Guy Fieri serving heaping helpings of deep-fried, beer-battered hot dogs baked into an apple pie while Aerosmith plays a power ballad. 'Merica!

Grade: F. What's scary is that this character could've been worse. He could've been a good ol' boy from Arkansas named Bufford who wore an electrified wild boar's head and drove a semi. 

NOTE

¹That's German for, "That's not what the ladies say." At least that's what Google Translate says it is.