Hindsight is 20/20, but we really should have known better about the Black Eyed Peas.
History buffs, social observers and people who are generally considered old and irrelevant know 2015 commemorates the 20th anniversary for a handful of cultural milestones that have helped shape the current state of the 21st century.
A quick list shows:
- O.J. Simpson was found not guilty for the murder of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman.
- Sony's PlayStation console debuted in North America, adding a new competitor in the videogame market and starting the next round in the console wars.
- Tejano music superstar Selena was shot to death by her personal assistant, and Grateful Dead frontman and 1960s counterculture icon Jerry Garcia died of a heart attack.
- The online auction site eBay opened for business, creating a new culture for commerce.
- Toy Story, the very first fully computer animated feature-length film, hit theaters and began to draw the curtain on hand-drawn animation.
- The final Calvin and Hobbes comic strip was published, which also marked the last time people of a certain age picked up and read a newspaper.
And if you've been watching any major televised sporting event since March, you've probably seen a Pizza Hut commercial with former NBA star David Robinson touting two decades of a world that's lucky enough to have the restaurant chain's stuffed crust pizza in it.
Clearly, not all anniversaries are created equal. In fact, some anniversaries, much like the majority of online comment sections, are best ignored and left for pop culture archaeologists to dig up after the guilty are long dead and buried.
We take a look at five other things besides Pizza Hut stuffed crust pizza celebrating their 20th anniversaries this year that have long outlived their usefulness.
DVD
Poor DVD. Its high-storage capabilities created the lucrative market for consumers to buy sets of past seasons of TV shows, while its low cost moved film studios' home entertainment model away from rentals and more toward purchases. And even at 20 years old, the DVD is still the preferred format for consumers. But its days are numbered. It didn't have the longevity that its predecessor the VHS tape had (A History of Violence in 2006 was the last major film released on VHS, some 30 years after the VCR was introduced in Japan), nor does it have the nostalgic and sentimental attachments that are associated with media like the vinyl records.
At least the DVD can have the satisfaction of knowing it's lifespan will be longer than its closest descandent, the Blu-ray, which is already looking over its shoulder at streaming video catching up.
Internet Explorer
Interent Explorer always has had a bit of an inferiority complex. It was the also-ran browser behind Netscape Navigator for much of the early days of the Internet. That is, until Microsoft force-fed IE down users' electronic gullets by bundling it with Windows. Even that wasn't enough to keep Explorer on top, because right now, you're probably reading these words on Chrome or Firefox. God help your troubled soul if you're reading this on IE.
Mouse Scroll Wheel
Remember the scroll wheel on a computer mouse? Remember what a mouse is? (Wikimedia Commons)
Scroll wheel? What's that? And what the hell's a mouse?
The Black Eyed Peas
The first studio album, "Behind the Front," by the original lineup of The Black Eyed Peas (left) and the group's current members (from left): apl.de.app, Fergie, will.i.am and Taboo. (Interscope/will.i.am)
When it comes to pop music careers, there's nothing shameful about those that burn brightly but briefly, forever connected to a specific era. Especially when those careers shamelessly gobbled up every lumen of spotlight shone on them during their time at the top. That's why the Black Eyed Peas should have no qualms going gently into that good night. Instead, will.i.am, Fergie, apl.de.app and Taboo have decided to rage, rage against the dying of their spotlight by releasing new music and "a bunch of new experiences"—whatever that means, because will.i.am says he doesn't want "Pea Bodies" using the term "albums."
In fact, the Peas recently dropped the humbly yet inaccurately titled "Awesome," a new single—or is this a new experience?—as part of a Fergie-less NBA playoff promo. And who fills in for Fergie during the TV spot? The cast of Pitch Perfect 2. That's no way to use the adorable-yet-sexy charm of Anna Kendrick.
Kendall Jenner
The softer sides of Kendall. (E! Entertainment Television)
Unlike the other entries on this list, Kendall Jenner isn't here because she's worn out her welcome with the public at large. It's because, in the 20 years since she's been born, the public at large hasn't figured out how to treat a young woman with any ounce of fame attached to her. Since her late teens, Kendall has been scrutinized and oversexualized by adults who should know better and use the self-obsessed drive of the grown-up Kardashian and Jenner klan members as a shield for their own monstrous behavior. Has this Kardashian minor leaguer acted entitled, bratty, narcissistic or all of the above? Probably, just like 99 percent of the people in her demo, especially those born into privileged families. Imagine if your first shoe-fie or a teleprompter gaffe or any of the ridiculous fuck-ups you made during the asshole stage of your late teens through your 20s ended up as Gawker headlines. (And yes, everyone goes through that asshole stage; no, you're not the cool person who skipped over it, and if you think you did, you probably have a lifetime case of assholeness.)
None of this is to defend Kendall or absolve her of past, present and future sins. But the miscues and egotism of a young woman beginning adulthood are less perverse and repulsive than a 58-year-old mother of four sanctimoniously reporting on a feud between Kendall and Selena Gomez over Justin Bieber like she's covering the Whitewater scandal (there's a 1995-era reference for you, history buffs).
So find a way to get back to 1995, Kendall. It was a simpler time then. When the names Jenner and Kardashian were only associated with Wheaties and O.J. Simpson.