I love Florida. I'm from Cape Coral. I live in Palm Beach Gardens. I live with my dad. I have 2 dogs. A bulldog and a chiweenie. :) They're cute! My birthday is July 10th and I'm a cancer. Yup! I'm a nurturer and I tend to get crabby when I'm annoyed or do not get my way. Sorry about that. I always thought my friends would say I was a true and loyal friend to them. I don't talk about people behind there backs. I really miss my friends a lot. I'm not sure what I did to them or if there is some kind of friend conspiracy going on. It could totally be a conspiracy right!!! I mean...The radio was talking to me. The Tv was talking to me and I was "Flying through space for the first time in my life." This was about 8 years ago, I started having dreams for the first time. Some of them being just like movies to me and some of them were like I was walking, living and breathing in a whole other world. It was cool. :) I would wake up in the middle of the night and hear spaceships land on my roof. I could feel aliens crawl into my body through the bottom of my feet and feel there little fingers pressing on my forehead. UNEXPLAINABLE. Around the same time, my myspace account was compromised. I don't know if the kid had my password or what but I always got the feeling someone was reading my messages. Then he would add people or leave comments that made me think he was talking to me. This made me like him. He would post things and I would post things back like we were indirectly talking to one another. When I tried to contact him, he was unreachable. I found out where he worked and showed up there looking for my new Myspace best friend and love (lol, yeah right!!!) He acted like he barely knew me and said we had only hung out a couple times and that our friendship was over. This made me very angry because this had been going on for almost a year. The rest of it was like a blur to me. I think he said something rude or he might have even yelled at me so I hit him in the arm with a water bottle. The police were like already there in 30 seconds and handcuffed me and sat me out front on a bench. I told them about Myspace and they said they didn't doubt it. They wrote me a ticket and let me go. Phew! (Or so I thought!) I was served with a restraining order to my dad's house while I was living in Cape Coral. I had moved back and forth from Palm Beach to Cape several times by this point. I did some research. The kid who was talking to me changed his last name. This made me suspicious that he was up to something. I tried to explain this to the judge but I was told not to speak because I didn't have a lawyer. (I didn't think I needed one.) I didn't have any money and besides I had proof. I could show her that we had indirectly been talking. AND!!! He changed his last name! WTH?!? The judge freaking told me not to talk and to be quiet yelling at me as Ms. Swahn. She told me to sign the restraining order, so I did. Being shy, quiet, and naïve...(and I'm not even joking) I walked out of court dumbfounded by all of this. Well, at least he was gone right! Wrong! The kid was always in my head and on my brain. I couldn't get rid of him. I could see movies of him while I was awake and had nightmares about him while I was asleep. Needless to say, I had a hard time making peace with this. So Let me give you a recap. I went to his work. I got a ticket. I went to court. I tried to explain. I signed a restraining order. Wait...I got a ticket?!!? There was another court date to go to and I freaking missed it!!!! If you know me...the next thing probably won't surprise you since I am always living paycheck to paycheck counting my change.

But..I ran out of gas one morning after I brought my brother to scbool. I pulled down a side street and into a field. My stepdad was on his way to help. While I was waiting, a police officer drove up to my car. I told him I was out of gas and someone was on the way. He asked to see my drivers license so I was like sure no problem and gave it to him. He came back to my car and told me I was under arrest for an Out of County Warant because I had missed a court date. GREAT!!!!! WTH!?!? I spent a very long and cold day in jail. Needless to say..it was 2 of my best friends birthdays and I hadn't spoke to either of them in weeks. Yeah...uhhhh...Happy Birthday girls! SMH!!! Why were so many bad things starting to happen? I started going to therapy and talking about what had happened. It's a space thing right. Like clearly we can't say anything about it out loud. Because rather than having two conversations at once, I am now schizophrenic per my doctors. I would have never believed that was coming. So the kid was talking to me to fly me home. You can't say space out loud. Aliens are in my room. The tv talks to me. The radio talks to me. I've lost my friends. (I do have a new best friend in Texas though) I'm still waiting to hear her side of the story so I can make sense of this. And now I'm schizophrenic. I call "bull shit." Excuse me for cussing!!!! But I am tired of this. By this point I ended up getting into more trouble and arrested like 5 times. It was MY FAULT BUT IT WAS NOT MY FAULT. My Heart was going crazy. My head was going crazy. And no one will explain to me about this space thing. Where are all MY FRIENDS AT!? I AM TIRED OF HAVING HEADACHES! I AM TIRED OF HEARING VOICES! IM NOT HAVFING KIDS WITH YOU! AND THIS IS EXHAUSTING ME SO JUST FORGET IT!

I was 22 years old! Excuse me for being weak and irresponsible. It'w not my fault. I know it's not. I don't even want to talk about it anymore. I just want someone to understand and explain things to me. I don't think anyone even cares......