The Spam Avenger
Robert Plant
Jay Z
The Janitor Man
The Geico Caveman is dead
Troglodyte
Neanderthal
Influences
Kentucky Fried Chicken, Alan Abel, Salvadore Dali, Butthole Smurfers, Radio Jihad, Joey Skaggs, ding-dang-a-ling-long, Bonzo Dog Shoe Shine Emporium, Ali Jesus, Steven Wright, the blisters on my fingers thing, Neil Hamburger (the early sessions), God the Almighty, Amway, Ralph Nader.
banjo, ukelele Harvey Oswald, shredders, rappers, Jerky Boys, Jerky Girls, the Corinthians, Tube Bars, Tube Socks, Tube Tops, Tube Steak, Euronymous and his crew (shout outs to Hell), Peter Paul and Panzer, Flea, Powder, non erotic chat, Tom Waits For No One, Son House, Queens of the Stone Age Flinstone Memorial Home, 10000 BC, Grog from BC, Coyle and Sharpe, Objects, Painful, Ouch, Sorry, Led Zeppelin, anyone poplular to reign in support from search engines, Ani Di Frankenstein, Gwar Stefani, did I spell her name right, No Doubt, Dude, Nomeansno, No, No, No, Red Skelton, Steve Allen and the homies, Radio Antarctica, The Flaming Lips Balm, Eminem, In M, In M, In M, Moby, Dick, Richard Nixon, Mojo Nixon, used Mojo magazine, Ozzy Bear, Tribute bands, Fugazi, Lee Scratch Perry, Beastie Boys, Beastie Girls, Paul's letters to the Corinthians in his boutique, SNFU, Ralph Stanley, Paul Stanley Eisen, the Blood Brothers, the Jungle Brothers, quaaludes, acid, orange juice, hever heard that one before, David Letterman's intestine, the Cripps before the invention of the wheelie, Kim Jong Illin', get out the nuclear device cause I hear mice, eels, pandas, and, above all, Buddie Rich getting really mad at his band.
About Me: "I'm an eel," says The Spam Avenger from his reclining chair behind his desk at The Spam Avenger Foundation. The noted futurist, philanthopist, sport-fisherman, and best-selling self-help author is modest about his contributions to the anti-spam campaigns of the early 2000s.
"Like, I get an e-mail with a toll-free phone number. What's it cost? Nothing, to me. Of course I'm going to phone it and tell whoever it is on the other end that I've got a walrus living in my lung. It's a very human thing to do. Some people tell me it's super-human, but I say, 'No, look within yourself and you, too, will find the walrus. It enjoys herring and pocky.'"
Common sense like this has won The Spam Avenger accolades from several world leaders, not the least among them Gabonese president Albert Bernard Bongo who told The Economist, "He's an eel.""
While The Spam Avenger told his secretary to hold all calls during the interview, she interrupts. He excuses himself to take an urgent phone call from an official at the World Bank . A pause."
The Spam Avenger calmly launches into a compelling litany of cuss words delivered in a such a calm and rational fashion that a casual listener might believe he is delivering sound economic advice. No adverbs. No adjectives. No sentence structure. Just obscenity after obscenity without hint of malice. After five minutes with no letting up, he hangs up the phone."
thank you gracias grazie ありがとうございました धन्यवाद благодаря 谢谢您 bedankt спасибо obrigado شكرا لك! merci bien hvala ti dziękuję tesekkurler děkuji ti tak mulţumesc takk dankeschoen kiitos σε ευχαριστώ 감사합니다 tack!!!
Come on by and download our new Christmas prank, Home Visit From Santa! Hope you have a great holiday, and remember...we're always as close as your phone! Yer' pals--The Wipper Brothers
Ya' missed a good one because you don't accept html. And yet we sympathize with your plight, since our page too is completely cluttered with useless html garbage.
In any case, remember kids, as Dick "Mr. Potter" Cheney says: "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets waterboarded!"
Happy Holidays, and we hope you're having a wonderful life in your very own Bedford Falls--Your good pals, The Mockers
Hi Spam Avenger... Thanks for stopping by! The material on your page is hilarious. I wonder how these spammers are not yet out of business. I guess somebody's got to keep the "second party" informed ;) ! Hopefully, that will eventually do the trick.
Let's help each-other fight those cyber-parasites!
language, obscure reference: hell there’s a million ways we can loose them! If a restaurant can declare no shoes no shirts no dancing on the speakers please or no service, then we can too! I want to live! I want to breathe! But really, more than anything, I just want to be entertained and if no one else is willing to do it, then I guess there’s nothing left to do…
Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob... It's taken me a while to decipher exactly what yer message meant, and after having done so, I've come to the conclusion that yr right. I must spread these dusty digits and get some air time in before it's all too late. If only I had picked something do-able, like being an astronaut or a brain surgeon instead of being a filmmaker from Alberta. Next time I’ll know better, next time!
I just finished a big project and am now attempting to parade it around a bit, which is kinda like taking the car in for a tune-up and upon your return to pick it up, they give you nothing back but the steering wheel and a few well placed words of encouragement like “it looks good, it works, wow, how do you think like that?” or something equally obtuse.
We should do something together one day, maybe work on a TV show or something? I’m mulling over what I want to do next and it’s probably going to be a pilot for something hipsterish, with the working title, The Alternative. I’d like to go after our demographic and really do it right. Expose everything from the inside out. Just think, all this seething venom could one day be turned into gold! Man that would be nice eh? Everything that disgusts me about the world and all of its working parts could suddenly be of some use to me, prove to be of some help… All this mulling over the details, all of this conditioning myself to the facts of space, time, and the ubiquitous spectrum of interpretation… That’s really what’s so hard about all this, isn’t it? It’s the spectrum of intelligence that gets in the way. So we’ll remove the problem completely and we won’t even give it a second thought. We’ll make something for us and only us, and the general intelligence can just go fuck themselves! Really though, just go and fuck themselves! We’ll build a ride that they just aren’t allowed on; we’ll discriminate, we’ll use irony, metaphor, the English
