Shelley Levine is a salesman known as The Machine. No matter what you say, he won't put his coffee down. He wants three of the promising leads, and he wants them close together. Because he is going to close them all.
Levine is also known as D. Ray Morton, the head of all European Sales and Services for American Express. You may have seen his interview about the Home Cooking Service Feature in the February issue of the magazine.
Website
swarty.com
Dan Swartwout's Interests
General
Stand Up Comedy, Drinking Pina Coladas, and Getting Caught in the Rain.
Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers/The Refreshments, Watershed, Butch Walker, Rancid, Squeeze, Weezer, Better Than Ezra, Ok Go, The Hold Steady, Cheap Trick, Fountains of Wayne, Green Day, Nick Lowe, Stray Cats, Prince, Aimee Mann, Wheatus, Miranda Lambert, Eric Church, The Clash, The Drams/Slobberbone, The Kinks, Fall Out Boy, 1980s New Wave, Power Pop, 1960s Top 40
Movies
I have liked the moving pictures much better since they became talkies.
Television
Did you get your tickets?
Also, there once was an episode of CHiPs where Fred Dryer (TV's Hunter) was in charge of an elite group of LAPD ninjas. It was the worst thing I have ever seen. Just thought I'd mention that.
Heroes
I love it in the movies when somebody goes from ZERO to HERO. Or from totally GEEK to totally CHIC. Thank goodness the popular kids have time for the rest of us. So, really, aren't the popular kids the real heroes? And...
The Men Who Perfected the Quick Silver Karate Method
July 1-2: Columbus, OH @ Cash Explosion
July 5: Greensboro, NC @ The Comedy Zone
July 6: Fayetteville, NC @ The Comedy Zone
July 9-13: Tampa, FL @ The Improv
July 16-20: Des Moines, IA @ The Funny Bone
July 23-27: Kansas City, MO @ The Improv
July 30: Columbus, OH @ Cash Explosion at the Ohio State Fair
August 1-2: Johnson City, TN @ The Comedy Zone
August 6-7: Columbus, OH @ Cash Explosion
August 14-16: Tallahassee, FL @ The Comedy Zone
August 26-27: Columbus, OH @ Cash Explosion
August 28: Prestonsburg, KY @ The Comedy Zone
August 29-30: Charleston, WV @ The Comedy Zone
Who I'd like to meet:
The Diamonds. They come from Glasgow. They're here to play football. Football's their game.
Is there anyway you can delete some of the 8,000 blogs that are repeating on your site? My arm is tired from scrolling all the way down your page just to talk shit. I'm to tired now to talk it.
P.S. i heard Ben Wallace was gonna be in the 3-point shootout next year.
Nov 26, 2007 11:09 AM I never said the Celtics would be terrible, like the 76ers or Sonics are terrible. Yes, the Celtics are 11-1. But I stand by my statement that the Celtics won't get past the Eastern Conference semi-finals.
When you get some time check us out at Wrestle War. The No B.S. Censorship Board with mods and admins who actually leave their houses unlike most Wrestling boards :)
Hi Dan! Congrats on your workout plan. Guess who's No. 1 again? THE Ohio State University, that's who. This is the year we get the SEC monkey off our backs by crushing Georgia in the national championship game. Believe it!!!!
Yeah, it's good to be here (on myspace). Glad to see you're doing well. If you ever come to Louisville, KY, you'll always have a place to stay. Heck, I'll even throw in a free dinner.
When I found out that Travis Hoewischer was from the same town as my brother-in-law I asked him about Travis and the following conversation ensued:
"Do you know a guy named Travis Hoewischer?" "Yeah, he lived down the street from me, why?" "He's a stand-up comic now and a guest on a podcast I listen to." "Really?? He wasn't funny at all in high school."
I laughed my ass off when he said that! Keep the shows coming guys!
oh don't worry i will keep in touch...hope your wife don't get jealous..lol....and i mean it from the heart when i say you are one hell of a comic, just seems to come natural...and you will become very famous, i already told friends to get their butts to tampa when you appear and i hope you keep coming back to jokeboys, it's one amazing place, and i know i can always get a laugh, especially now with the stress in my life i need to come and laugh once a week....enjoy your upcoming vacation, and im sorry you got a walmart ring..lol..your a riot...
take care and thanks for laughs and the comment...
have a safe memorial day, and again thank you so much for the GREAT show, we will come see you in tampa, and we have been bragging about how you make people laugh, you have a gift.....be safe and keep making us laugh..xox
excellent show last night at joke boys....your amazing, loved it, we are hoping to come see you in tampa when you are there, keep up the laughs, you are going to make it big..im thinking jerry seinfeld big...BEST OF LUCK
Swarty, Rob Umberger's friend Chris Johnson here. You fucking rock!!! I'm so proud to see you doing what you were put on this earth to do.. Entertain us!!! MAKE SURE to let me know when you're back in Columbus ok? As always I appreciate your clips on youtube and on your site. Go Bucks! Now get on with your badself. :)
I believe the original argument was that the trade didn't make them better and that Ben Wallace wasn't gonna be the 25-20-10 guy you said he was. Sure they took the Celtics 7 but so did Me, You, Judah, Fred, and Sherri and the hawks so that isn't saying much. P.S. i wouldnt call them a 45 win team. It's 4 people with the best seats in the house and Lebron
I didn't get to see all the game but i saw the final score. I heard Wally had 40 points, West scored 30 and Wallace had 37 rebounds...... Those are the totals from the entire playoffs.
