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Yes, I do. I want you to become a ZOMBIE, baby.

Boo Yah! And if ya weren't already aware, I'm currently in active strategic mode in making it happen. I want all the boys and girls of the world, both young and old to join my LEGION OF DOOM!

Yes, you too can become a zombie with the simple starter kit. No fuss, no muss, no pus (unless you want to.) It's as easy as 1, 2, 3! SNAP. Instant zombie. (Instructions provided with the kit are in no language, just pictures for clearer understanding across cultural divides. The Zombie Nation accepts no prejudice; we want everyone to get a big Zombie Hug!)

You won't have to worry anymore about what the boss said at work about your lackadaisical attitude. You won't have to listen to your significant other's constant barrage of "I told you so's" that threaten to unhinge your sanity. You can kiss all that political correctness goodbye and kiss my arse. You will see more clearly how insignificant the world is and how you too, can become a part of a cause that's larger than just one single soul; a cause that can change the world for generations to follow!

Rejoice!

It's time to go zombie. Once you go zombie, you never go back.

I know, I know. I've been a little quiet here and abouts over the last few months; but that's OK. I've been working diligently to bring this plan to fruition. I've worked through the nights, the days, the moments between them both in order to bring peace and zombie goodness to all the inhabitants of this fine, fine planet. We are one step closer to total domination of the world.

And now, so close to the beginning, I seek out your assistance. Won't you join my rank Zombie Legion of Doom? I think you'll like it, like it, yes you will!

Come one, come all, let us start th