Recovery.
If you are in need of some new ear candy, or just would like a tip on some of the better bands out there, I would highly recommend: Tool, Placebo, and Muse. They all have something more to offer. Music and lyric - wise. Even if you already know them, perhaps you should take another thorough listen and truly appreciate them.
Maybe I am /finally/ losing my way back to Wonderland.
Welcome to my illusion.
*Bows*
I will be the demented host of our eccentricitea party tonightmare.
My, you look hungry.
Or, maybe, you just look tasty.
No fear.
Destination: Darkness.
The hatching egg inside the sculptured stone knows and knows not what it will be born into.
At an age where nothing has been learned, and memories of this time will only subtly exist in the background of a memory, never to be found. This is the time in which we learn everything, and remember none of our building knowledge. We know, but we do not remember learning to know, or anything that happened within that time. We could be beaten and bruised and never live to hate the criminal, say it be our own blood, and yet live to love them and appreciate all we have learned and gained and been given from them. What they don't know won't hurt them. Right?
This learning - but - all - to - be - forgotten age, now old enough to interact and respond more-so, talk even, where we do not care to judge on anything. We understand that mistakes are made, and forgive, and love whomever for whomever themself. When we are inspired and always wanting to live. Live, live, live. Live life to the fullest and not understand any other way, because why would we not? [[Live life to the fullest.]]
* * * * * *
Everything is new, so everything is amazing, interesting, inspiring in itself.
And time goes by and by...and soon enough...it all loses what it once had. Magic may only seem to be held in things when they are first seen, heard, experienced...and those that hold it twice, or even more, are /miracles/. How pathetic it is. You have lost your spirit. You know not how to appreciate more and more, again and again, because now you only wish for more, and when more has come, it is not enough. A disappointment. Boredom is everyday. What a boring life.
And wait...how big is this world?
Every active and free hour of everday...so much we could do, and yet we waste our lives away.
Boredom is a sorry excuse. We use it enough though.
Maybe you just never really had a spirit. You were always a robot. That amazement and inspiration and whatever else comes in the standard package with arrival, was all just that. "Comes with..."
Like a cheap commercial. "Buy now, and get the extra [insert not - so - exciting extra item here] with no extra charge!" Get pregnant and get a fully equipped child. Eyes, legs and all. [In small print: any items that arrive damaged are no longer the companies responsibility after in the owner's posession. ---> This being, any diseases, mental or physical problems, etc., that your child may come along with are not our problem.] Not only this, but it comes with natural curiosity.
If this was you, just arriving with your completely normal aspects as an ignorant child, then maybe you really had no thought nor spirit. Mechanically, you stumbled upon. While, thoughtfully, one with soul discovered.
Do you? Do you really? Do you really and nod your head, or do you really, and feel what it means, understand, relate, and connect? Maybe you don't know.
So much time wasted. If you don't know whether you know, whether you look...or gaze...at least, come somewhere in the middle. Perhaps there is a spot between.
Confusion is okay. It may lead you to ripping torture, caged in yourself. Hysteria. Asphyxiation. I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. A pessimistic view, one might say. Or perhaps, more of an open - mind. More of a willingness. More...of a wonder. An awakening.
So much time wasted. And mechanical, thoughtful, inbetween, unknown, it is time not spent, and things lost simply because, even at a neutral state, (nothing done - nothing needed, therefore: nothing lost, nothing gained), the potential to be discovered was not carried out.
So much time...wasted...
Life is short. But life is long.
I swear on my life, I can prove you wrong.
But because I do not, because you misunderstand,
does not equate to the untrue fact that I hold no value in hand.
I have, I feel, no need of you to see,
but I myself once saw in you more to be.
So for you to learn, like it or not, take this.
Something of more value to you.
It seems you have lost or dulled your ability to believe without constant reminding. I am who I am.
When you least expect it, expect it.
There is much more to the world than you imagine.
And people, when you think you have them figured out, can turn everything around.
This is not simply for you. But for you too. But not for any of you at all.
In time, good things come. Whether it be a blast of inspiration, a cookie, a long - awaited item, appreciation, health, or perhaps a new love.
Everyone who feels worthless. Everyone who is too judgmental or judgmental at all. Everyone who is too caught up -- in anything.
Everyone, take a breath.
Look around.
You may have missed a lot.
Life is short.
But life is long.
Have you really taken the time to think of everything you could have done? Big or small.
How much time have you wasted?
I have wasted too much. My thoughts are always taking over.
Thoughts of all kinds. The thoughts of dreams. Thoughts from the characters that live in the stories, long and short, of my mind, that speak in different languages, different perspectives, and are the many me's of myself. I wonder. They keep holding me back. I sometimes [always?] am disaster itself. Thought with no action. The life I desire lives inside me, and I live there so often, it keeps my physical being from reaching that place itself. And I know I will never truly live there until I physically and mentally allow myself to start.
I crave creation in so many ways.
Please, let me create. Let me breathe. Let me live.
I really lost the deeper train of thought I was on where the asterisks come in. My mind cut off...onto another track I suppose you could say. Still towards the same destination, but not as focused and pure as I was aiming for. But...a step in the right direction, nonetheless. It is progress, no?
Recovery..
..Maybe.
heyy could you possibly take a picture of that drawing i made of you, tinypic it, and send it to me on here? i want to add it to album Im making =] it's one of my favorite
I don't think I responded to your pic comments because I don't think myspace alerted me that they were there O.o Well, if I didn't, thanks! :D
and oh, that pic is there twice because myspace was being a bum and I had to upload stuff a few times for it to work, and I just didn't notice it was up there twice.
Yeah GOOD ONE I don't know anyone else personally that's vegan. Unless you are now... what's up with that whole situation?
O.o I don't know where you got that phone stuff from... I don't LIKE people calling my house, but it's fine. I prefer my cell phone, which I sometimes don't answer, but it's not like I NEVER pick up.
holey my history map :] i noticed your in all advanced classes. thats so good keep it up :D
my schedual:
algerba-honors language arts/enchanced-honors my enocres which could be family consumer science, gym, or band. then finally social studies
i dont know why im in advanced though.. its weird ive never been before. i understand though. but my schedual is horrible. first is math which is okay because i get it out the way. and the teachers really good. but language arts is pretty random. i think i should have that last block. social studies second. not last. i can barely stay awake =/
no. i didnt drop my old friends for new friends. i kept my real friends. and got rid of the fake "friends" i have 3 main ones. but its so much better than 100 fake ones. and everyone else is just "hi.. oh hey" kinda thing.
what time do you go to bed? and well. my friends have changed. my music taste have changed. but i think just how i do things differently. i dont have regrets really.. i just changed my perspective on things
Lol, its cool. I always forget when I send people comments anyway. I wish myspace had that wall to wall kind of thing. That's the best part about facebook.
I think the thing about the ocean for me is that, in hawaii, it held no meaning for me. in florida, the ocean is like, everything. i remember my friends and the times i had and stuff, but in hawaii, its just water. yeah, and all the people kind of ruin it and stuff. and all the obligations and time limits my parents put on me. if i had been alone or with people i actually LIKE, then maybe it would've been different. another thing is that water isn't really my element. well, in general, its not a human element. i can't breathe underwater, so that kinda sucks.
the forest is more of a human element, and the shallow streams are water... but like, it works.
about the fish: its not that i don't get that humans die naturally. i'm perfectly down about that. but it was just weird about fish. and then i started wondering if the fish's family missed it, or if it had friends that wondered where it was.
sooo you know how people eat bugs in some places in the world? well i was wondering if maybe [back when people lived in forests] if people ate fruit, random other plants, and bugs. i mean, its not like i would go eat a bug, but i can see how people who didn't have tofu or anything available in grocery stores might eat them. and bugs are something that you don't really have to make tools to, uhm, kill. i was just wondering what you thought about that.
Lol! You should work for the discovery channel and narrate everything trisha.
and yeahh it was awesome in the rainforest. i actually wasn't too impressed by the ocean. but i got in the forest and it was like that was where i felt at home. it was awesome.
ohh and the surfing pics were done by a professional guy with a really good water camera, so yeah.
it was weird though, when i was snorkeling in the ocean, i was really close to shore, and i saw this dead fish. it wasn't like "murdered", it was just dead. and i stared at it for like 10 minutes, because i never really thought about fish just dying naturally. i always imagined people eating fish, or other animals eating a fish, and it was weird to think that fish can just, die.
ok so i talked to my mom and dad and they said that were doing something this weekend since its the 4th of july so i wont be able to go but ill still try and get in touch with spencer
