Contacting
Phoenix: Spider Lady called me Adorable...I am?
MySpace URL:
http://www.myspace.com/phoenix_cheshire
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Phoenix: Spider Lady called me Adorable...I am?'s Interests
General
Writing, reading, movies, art, drawing and painting, psychoanylizing and evalutating,cats,ELEPHANTS, JELLYFISH (the animal, not the people),animals and trees, eating all types of food,ashes and the Phoenix, and listening to all sorts of music while I multitask. I love mysteries,Ninjas, weirdness,uzumaki, and the depths of strangeness. Video games, JAPAN,sushi.
I would write more about the political things that upset me or show articles and essays I wrote but hey...I don't want to be harassed by our every growing nazi government which is monopolistic, nepotistic, and oligarchy. Original US=AWESOME...US today=Corruption and reversal of original principles and what was fought for. THEY ARE ROLLING IN THEIR GRAVES, WAIT FOR JUDGMENT DAY.
My kind of cussing includes: Holy Monkey's Blind Uncle, Holy Cheesepuff, Blatant Cow, Backseat Platypus, Raging Krypton, and Turnip Head. There's more but isn't more fun to hear it in the spur of the moment than know I use them ahead of time?
I HATE REMAKES!!! THE REMAKE MUST DIE!!!!
Besides that I hate crappy plagaristic books, movies etc which is basically everything nowadays. i hate rip offs and smug people who apathetic to the state of the world around them as well as the injustice felled upon others who they do not reach out to help. One day you too will need help and no one will be there because you were not there for them.
I wish I had more time to write. I write stories and poems but haven't the time to organize them. I also want to not only publish my diary (in progress) but the emails and notes and writings i have done from over the years along with my autobiography (in progress). Also maybe a dream journal which would be something connected to the autobiography seeing as how it would help read into how my dreams permeate my life and how my life permeates my dreams.
Coming soon...the Adventures of Stephanie and Stephany...
Episode one: Stephanie & Stephany kill grammatical mistakeers!
i am like super nun-like ultrawoman!!! that is my name muhahahaha! ...so why am i laughing like a super villain?! shock and awe is that a hint of the future of my superhero career as it takes a surprise turn? ...perhaps ...or perhaps i am being the regular weird ultrawoman that i am ..lol
Stephany is Awesome Colossal Fury Woman! Do not get on her bad side!
BLEHHH! *blows rasberry* That is what I say to lactose intolerance! muahaha! My arch nemesis.
Our other nemesis is dialup!!!! ERRR! Enemies include Remakes, plagiarism, cheaters, clogged drains, people who can't spell or are too lazy to include one or two more letters in a word, psycho neighbors, food poisoning, people who don't wash their hands after going the bathroom, people who are all "HI! HOW ARE YOU?!" and in your face all creepy cheery very early in the morning while I'm all "Eahhh! Get out of my face...Tired..." eyes are not open and I walk into a door, male and female chauvinists, the mold, MATH,Windows Vista, Now and Laters, and we fight for fast and free Internet.
Our allies include Sharpie Markers, Duct Tape, Hot Glue and Hot glue guns, and my trusty Exacto-blade.
The Creepy Girl
You know...my mother always leaves the keys in the car engine when I am waiting in the car...She looks to me and says.."In case of zombies so you can get away."
Isn't she the coolest?
Maybe the out of her mind wackiest as well but the coolest mom for preparing for the zombie invasion.
"The first day, a girl dies with her head emptied out, perhaps she had remembered the truth...
The second day, a girl dies with her legs hacked off, perhaps she had stood near the truth...
The third day, a girl dies with her ears cut off, perhaps she had heard the truth...
The fourth day, a girl dies with her eyes gouged out, perhaps she had seen the truth...
The fifth day, a girl dies with her tongue pulled out, perhaps she had spoken the truth...
The sixth day, a girl dies with her hands chopped off, perhaps she had written the truth...
The seventh day, a girl is GOING to die, perhaps..." -Memento Mori
"Man lives in the sunlit world
of what he believes to be reality.
But, there is, unseen by most, an underworld,
a place that is just as real,
but not as brightly lit.....
A DARKSIDE.
The dark side is always there,
waiting for us to enter,
waiting to enter us.
Until next time,
try to enjoy the daylight."-Tales from the Darkside
"I would tell you what you want to know if I could mum, but I be a cat and No cat anywhere ever gave anyone a straight answer." -The last Unicorn
"Don't look back and Don't run. You must never run from anything immortal. It attracts their attention." -The last Unicorn
Screw proportion I like my world askew.
I AM INCONGRUENT.
Music
I'm eclectic.
The Pillows,
Billie Holiday,
Aiden,
The Distillers,
Garbage,
JoyDrop,
Kittie,
BB King,
blondie,
pat benetar,
danny elfman,
puffy amiyumi,
garnet crow,
do as infinity,
joe hisaishi,
yoko kanno,
yo yo ma,
jurrasic five,
madison park,
12girlsband
tina turner,
matthew good band,
deathcabforcutie,
Shiina Ringo,
Mika Nakashima,
and so much more if I even began to list them my head would explode.
etc
Movies
Horror, thriller, action, anime.
Martial Arts movies!!! Old movies off old movies channels like Turner Classic and Fox movie channel.!!!
Ask me a movie and I'll tell you if it's a remake of a better movie or why it simply sucks.
I'm a real movie critic.
examples: Evil Dead Trilogy, Ringu Anthology, Uzumaki, Ju-Rei, Ju-On, Studio Ghibli movies, Conan movies, Mad Max Trilogy, Red Sonja,Fried Green Tomatoes, Misery, Barbarella, Dirty Harry Movies, Play Misty for me, How to deal, All I wanna do, Beauty shop, Bruce Campbell movies,Revolutionary Girl Utena the Movie, The Stuff, Creepers,Kirikou and the Sorceress, Trauma, Nosferatu, The Fifth Element, Little Nemo Adventures in Slumberland, Rocky Horror Picture Show,Hairspray, Crybaby, Joan Crawford and Bette Davis movies, The Heroic Trio,Legend of Billie Jean, Dario Argento movies, Mario Bava Movies,Alice Sweet Alice,Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Vincent Price Movies, William Castle movies, Saw,Night of the Comet,Tank Girl,The women, Gaslight, The Crow, Thirteen Women, Labyrinth, Resident Evil, House of the Dead, Subspieces Series of Movies, The Shadow,The Breakfast Club, Death Becomes her, She-Devil, Multiplicity, Mr. Mom, Pacific Heights,Thirteenth Floor (original), The sentinel,Bed Knobs and Broomsticks, Small Sacrifices,Single white female, The People Under the Stairs, Dead and Breakfast,Some Like It Hot, Amelie, Harriet the Spy, May, The Vanishing, Eat Drink Man Woman,Joy-Luck Club, Alice in Wonderland, Mulan,Heathers, Tomie Movies, Clue, Freeway, Sleeping Beauty,Snow Day,Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind,Phantasm 1 2 & 3 (4 does not exist to me cause it sucks), Snow White (Sigourney Weaver version),Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Tim Burton movies, some Jon waters movies, Princess Bride, Mirrormask, Millennium Actress,Perfect Blue, Tokyo Godfathers, Straightjacket,The Shadow,Memoirs of a Geisha, Kismet,Drink Drank Drunk, Trilogy of Terror 1 & 2, Zatoichi Blind Samurai movies,KISS KISS BANG BANG etc
REMAKES SUCK!!!
Television
Not much on these days. Used to like before it was cancelled.
Farscape, Brimstone, Good vs Evil, Soul Taker, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Home Movies,MST3K, American Gothic, Titus, First Wave, Lexx, Sliders,V, Columbo, Quincy, Special Unit 2,Friday the 13th The series, Poltergeist the Legacy, Serial Experiments Lain and other anime, Adult Swim, Invader Zim,Boogiepop phantom, Rocko's Modern Life, La Femme Nikita, Courage the cowardly dog, The Grim adventures of Billy and Mandy,Aeon Flux, The Chronicle, Old school Nickelodeon shows, Space Case,Cowboy Bebop,Samurai Jack, Outlaw Star, Tenchi Muyo, Silent Mobius, Gatekeepers 21, Escaflowne,Kolchak the NightStalker, Wolf's Rain, The Hotel, S.N.A.G., Heroes in Black, Vicar of Dibley, Jonathan Creek,Night Gallery, Dark shadows, forever knight, Monsters, Tales from the Darkside,Project Runway, Veronica Mars, Law Order of all brands, Next Top Model,House,Game KNB, Pangako Sayo,Korean Dramas, international channel now AZN, Funny Wild Girl,As you wish, REBOOT,Happy Tree Friends and Friends, Ninja Warrior, Project Runway, Kitchen Nightmare, Hell's Kitchen, Top Chef, I love 70's 80's 90's VH1 shows, Attack of the Show, X-play, and etc
Monk and PSYCH
Metalocalypse
Shin Chan
Right Now: DEAD LIKE ME
Probable Upcoming shows: Bleach
Books
I read a lot and love lots of books. Right now my three favorite books are Innocence by Jane Mendelsohn and The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold and Late for Hallowe'en by Camilla Fegan. (Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli should make a movie out of Fegan's book.)Bride of the Rat God by Barbara Hambly
"Where the Wild Things Are" by Maurice Sendak and Shel Silverstein ESPECIALLY "where the sidewalk ends"Koji Suzuki's "Dark Water"
Edgar Allen Poe, Andre Norton,The Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Anderson, Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, Annette Curtis Clause, Vivian Van Velde, Shakespeare, etc.
Other than that there are too many to list all of them. Shakespeare, Andre Norton,Vivian Van velde, Edgar Allen Poe, Annette Curtis Klause, Amelia Atwater-Rhodes,Vampire High by douglas rees,Fairy tales from around the world: especially Spider stories (how spider became spider, how spider gave knowledge to the world) and The african cinderella, and the chinese cinderella and the story of the peach boy and many other (aesop), Samurai Girl series,Vampire Kisses 1;2;and 3 Ellen Schreiber, etc.
Heroes
More like people and characters I admire or take inspiration from (in completely random order): Vincent Price, Joan Crawford, Ingrid Bergstrom,Joan of Arc, Rosa Parks,Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, Crispin Freeman, Michael Landes,Lia Sargent, Sojourner Truth,Maggie Cheung, Angus Scrimm, Shirley Manson, Aaliyah, Bruce Campbell, Roseanne Barr,Kathy Griffin, Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez,Mulan,Dario Argento, Tim Burton,Demi Moore, Uma Therman, Anjelica Huston,Geena Davis, Linda Hamilton, Frances Fisher, Lori Petty in Tank girl, Fran Drescher, Christina Ricci, Johnny Depp, Goldie Hawn, Kathy Bates, Meryl Streep, Martin Luther King, Jr., Brody Dalle,Billy Zane,Blondie (Debbie Harry), Pat Benetar, Anita Mui, Maggie Cheung, Billie Jean, Bette davis, Inigo Montoya, Michelle yeoh, zhang ziyi, chow yun fat, Amelia Earhart, Mimi Rogers, Andie MacDowell, Parker Posey,Bai Ling, Gong Li, Katherine Hepburn, Tia Carerre, Cher, Tea, Leoni, Kathy Griffin, Paula Poundstone,Shel Silverstein, Maurice Sendak, Julianna Margulies, Brett Butler,Peter Falk, Vincent D'onofrio, Maria Beltram, Jim Gaffigan, Queen Latifah, Martin Luther, jet li, jackie chan, hitchcock, dario argento, Joe Bob Briggs,Vash, Kenshin,stewie (you lil' rascal),Jason for getting over his candy addiction, Melissa,and Brendon Small (the character and real guy), Lain for watching...always...Darren McGavin and his character Carl Kolchak, I also like Sarah Lane, Brendan Moran, Kevin Rose, Kevin Pereira, Morgan Webb, Adam Sessler, Blair Butler, Laura Swisher, and Martin Sargent,
HAYAO MIYAZAKI
MICHAEL MOORE
DAVID BOWIE
Cassandra Peterson
LUCY LAWLESS
QUEEN TINA
GRACE JONES
JIM HENSON
JHONEN VASQUEZ
JUNJI ITO
NAOKO TAKEUCHI
YOKO KANNO
JOE HISAISHI
Stephanie, Marie, Theresa, Chelsea and Mia, Kayla, Jamie, Amelia, Isis, Liz, MITZY, Melissa, Brittney, Ashley, Renee, Heather, Kanako, Tiffanie, Becca, Jen and Fabian, Bethany and Dan, Shannon and JON, Jack Elizabeth, Stephany, And rest of Friends stupid me forgot to list!
Phoenix: Spider Lady called me Adorable...I am?'s Details
Phoenix: Spider Lady called me Adorable...I am?'s Schools
Columbia-Greene Community College
Hudson, NY
Graduated: 2007
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Associate's Degree
Major: Fine Art
Clubs: spleh right. maybe bethany's cult?
2005 to 2007
Coxsackie-Athens Hs
Coxsackie,New York
Graduated: 2005
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
Clubs: secret clubs and organizations...shhh!!
2001 to 2005
Phoenix: Spider Lady called me Adorable...I am?'s Networking
Assistant, Director, Makeup, stylist, and photographer all in one..amateur though obviously. Wish I had more time for. Mostly I like people. I can do nature and love architecture but LOVE people especially faces (portrait).
Phoenix: Spider Lady called me Adorable...I am?'s Blurbs
About me:
I am a weird person. You probably won't like me unless you know me personally. I don't want to get too in depth.
Maybe I felt like a change...Maybe I felt like I needed something happy. But in the end is there anything there?
Bright color doesn't mean happy color.
Why is it I am so nostalgic for the 90s? Because I am a 90s kid? What a thought! I don't know, maybe things sucked just a little less then. Listen to me! Things sucked less in gradeschool or as I called it CA corrections system! Maybe it was before we all had to drift off.
UPDATE:Alright. I moved the last update to my livejournal. Just click the Life Button to read my crazy life and ponderings, though I haven't posted half of it there. I will post to livejournal old journals and elftown but not my analog journal yet...I won't post stories either seeing as how they may be ripped off because we are living in the era of plagiarism. Whatever. I wanted to join writersco but they probably are the same that it can be ripped off. I am on so many damn networks and sites it is crazy. I am probably on everything so just ask. Added some stuff to deviantart. Isn't much though. Planning on more but you'll have to wait. I miss my old original profile that had pics that suited me from postsecret. Maybe I'll change back. But I should Go forward and Never Back as Golly says. (Yay Harriet the Spy! I just rediscovered that movie the other day. I love movies from when I was a kid.)
My thoughts won't slow down. I don't know whether my psycho family neighbor ordeal will be separate from my autobiography or not. SO I was thinking of titles for my autobiography and they got me down. What do you think of the following: Insanity in my Family, The Broken American Dream (little heavy huh?), Ninja Nonie breaks down the wall, Rising Again, etc...Suggestions?
UPDATE ON MY UPDATE: Yeah okay I am so totally tired lately. I have lots to do and better get to it. Working now which makes me extra tired but even so I shouldn't be that tired right? Anyways need money for my projects but probably won't do too many. Am working on doing my photography ones which I WILL GET DONE. I AM DETERMINED! for this summer at least. And I really think I need to clean up my profile...But no time right now. Will work on it for the future.
I really want to hang out with so many people and we can't just find time or coordinate schedules for it. Besides no car and no drive=me. So difficult. I haven't done much but small doodles lately so i am going crazy. I need to do art or I will die. Just die.
Isis is so cute me and Amelia took pics the other day. Smarter and cuter ever day that baby, well toddler? And I want to do those "home movies" too. And our reincarnation of radio features. (like the shadow!) Bleh no time and no effort=me. Procrastinator=me. I suck. Plus I think I am slowly being driven crazy by a number of factors. Factors=People. Thank you people.
And I have soooo many ideas for stories and stuff my head will soon explode. Gah. That is why I haven't talked to Stephany in a long while cause she gives me too many ideas. We are so in each other's head...What's that you're out of coke? I will go to the store right now! We are currently collaborating on a story. My last one was "TOM cat's Adventure in a Pit of Glitter" I am soon to be working on my Ultrawoman comic featuring a slew of villains such as the Malignant M etc... I read my old writings and cringe in pain. Someone stab me in the eye so I won't have to read it. (yes yes Ashley the eye once again! Always the eye! the all important eye!)
And I want to put up new photos and fix my profiles and synch them up as well but no time...And gah I need to use the library's fast internet cause dialup is killing my soul and my eyes and my patience.
I like making my profile long and full of lots of information not just because I am a compulsive writer but also because I like making people scroll down it.
I want to plant plants in my brain and see what ideas grow of them. (though I really am planting plants right now. Tomatoes of all types and petunias and sunflowers and umm..a cactus and star vines. later in the year I will plant birdhouse gourds. ("And that's a good thing."
I think my shock and awe are broken. My stunningly bright uniqueness is burning on the back burner.
I think I am thought of as a man or nun. I think i like that. Shoves off unwanted attention.
The word of my life is: OSTRACIZED. Not because of its applications in my life but because I will always remember Peter getting all offended about it in class saying "Why do you use such big words?!" (I had also used others he called big that were like five letters). I was dumbfounded that this amazed him. he brought it up later at the end of the year too. "What was that big word you used?"
Katie and Amanda would chant Stog for president after government class. I found it interesting but never could be cause i would "disappear" in the first week of office. Damn creeps taking over our government. And I will never forget that girl who didn't just get it that a family of even three can't live off a job that costs more than you get paid. what a boob. If your job costs you and puts you in the negative you might as well not have a job and be on assistance. She didn't get it and kept saying well at least you have a job...For what?! People don't have jobs to just have them they have them so they can live. Go ask mommy and daddy for more money. Cause I don't think you're ever going to get it. And by the way other insufferable girl red is the color of resistance and rebellion and guerillas. As well as republicans so that is what it was in The Tongue of the Butterflies. BLEH!
I think i want to drip this syrup on your leg. Let me put makeup on you and I adore you! Rocky Horror Show business way. Stop using the word LOVE so damn freely. You do not love someone you met five seconds ago or emailed twice! It has no meaning anymore. Just like fierce and just like surreal. If you are not talking Dali Don't use surreal. If you are not talking of a tiger attack don't use fierce.
I have a lot of new favorite artists. I will tell you later...
ED is like menopause. Here's a clue it means you shouldn't be having kids!!!
I hate misinformation and apathy towards the injustice inflicted on others. One day it will be you and roles will be reversed and no one will care for you.
It has been pointed out to me that I don't really HATE anyone...Am I just that nice a person? I do forgive everyone..to my detriment.
I was an adult as a kid but to be an adult truly you need to grow out of certain things by behaving kid like. So here I am when I was a child i was an adult. And now as an adult I can't get rid of the child parts that didn't get grown out. Gah! So I will always be part of each. This sucks. On the one hand the clear vision of child on the other the fears.
I will always be a southerner and a northerner and neither. The north still sees me as southern and the southern would never accept me as one of them seeing as how I only lived there till I was three. So where do I belong? Nowhere. Hey, I'm told i am sorta japanese so maybe there? But no I wouldn't cause I wasn't born there and I have no relation to there. But really shouldn't my soul have been born in Japan? I think so. And yet I am totally American...Not today's American real true oldschool American. And by oldschool I do not mean good ol' boy type. I mean like speak your mind and fight for rights. I say Revolution!
If I leaked my brain juice on you would you understand me then?
My ears are gonnna fall off. Damn piercings get better or I will totally just let you close...though I love my new earrings to the death of ages...hmm. We'll see.
I am BATHROOM GIRL! I invade people's bathrooms to take photos! If I haven't taken photos in your bathroom I am not your friend...(although I have a list so I might be getting to you.) One day you open your bathroom to see me taking photos in front of your mirror and your weird little spindly thingie..You know what I'm talking about. You know, the thing next the thing that is next to the other thing. The one that was aquamagenta.
I am totally sleeping concrete dreams.
I love writing people so if you are still reading up to this point which I imagine many of you bailed so the fact that I am addressing the bailers makes no sense know that I love to write letters and send them through postal. I have four awesome penpals in other states/countries. They are the bomb that exploded my heart. I love sending stuff through the mail too. They all just got pink frosted sugar cookies of such a deliciousness that it is pure insanity after you taste it..No i did not put LSD in them!
I can't draw well with a mouse so I bought a tablet that I have yet to use. I am with Saint Augustus: Math is evil!
I am resisting the new flash profile. You can't make me do it. Bleh!
I am so done capitalizing my i's see. i think that i is no more important a letter than z so why should it be capitalized? What makes i so important? lately i find myself not capitalizing anything. i am on strike with capitals. what makes any other letter so much more special than the other? screw capitals. that's spinach! (i am so into dead trend speak man. stephany calls it the dead trends i bring zombie trends.
COOKIES AND THE UNDEAD! YOU'VE JUST BEEN SMACKED BY A ZOMBIE! (does anyone remember the beginning when I first got on myspace tagging their comments with that old chestnut? good times, good times.)
Talking lately to my cousin Jason which brings up a lot of past I don't want to deal with but hey.
I just want a clean place to live and a way to live. But I have been denied clouds of cotton candy and rain of cherry coke so I doubt the universe will comply with that one either.
Okay so my overall family seems to be the black sheep of society. And then My little immediate family is the black sheep of that family. And I am the black sheep of my immediate family. I am also the black sheep of society. So that makes me what? Three, four times a black sheep. I must be like the void of a black hole. Or does all the negate each other so that I am white sheep? Or a gray one? I want to be a deep green sheep.
There are three types of people. (Not that I believe in types this is just a random example of many). there are those who are classified by others as preppy, bleached, belonging un-unique normal kids. (Which by the way what is normal? And they claim others classify them but by classifying others as normal you are classifying yourself! And isn't your classifying and ostracizing of them as bad as the other way around?) Then there are the other side of the spectrum: those who say they are different because they dye their hair, get tattoos, and piercings and dress "goth" (which by the way if you are not architecture, art, or a hundreds of years old you are not goth), anyways they say they are different but that too has become a trend and so everyone even the preppy crowd has them. Therefore you are melding in with those who want to belong and the sheep if you are either of those two. Because see neither of them are different. They are two slices of the same pie. If you want to be different you have to be the ones in the middle who really just are who they are. And god, how different are you if you are getting the same tattoos as everyone else? One more tribal tattoo or memorial face or name..gah! And then of course that whole thing is ridiculous cause really those classifications should be about attitude. Punk is an attitude so is preppy. I have seen punks who dress prep and vise versa (which is popular now that punk is a trend). Why must others instead of being themselves try to belong to either indifferent completely look a like spectrum? And by the way people are not classifications, species are. Emo is ridiculous. Stands for emotional and since everything has emotions in play everything is emo. And you know what? I had that haircut when I was little before it was ever invented so what I invented it? yay for me.
I always found the things I wore ten or five years before were suddenly a trend so I figure I am ten years ahead of you all.
I am told I like regular looking people. Sometimes I like unique looking people but I am told the people I crush on and others I just like are so regular that they blend in a crowd and who would notice them over that guy or that chick? Well I do. They are noticeable in their unnoticableness. I guess that is why I have a love for the little known actor. Yay you! Fan club of one=me.
I'm never going to be a drinker, I will never smoke or do drugs. And as it seems I am trying to reconcile giving up my earthly possessions and cussing so that I can be the nun I was born to be. maybe...And if one more person talks to me about starting to date I will put a shishkabob in their eye. Why does everyone have to have someone? Maybe I don't need someone. I define myself and don't need anyone else to. I don't need a "soulmate". That is ridiculous. You are whole on your own. If i like someone I like them If i don't I don't. Back off. You would think dating is the only thing in life to do. Sorry I am too busy being faithful to myself and my hobbies etc. Find me someone who can do that stuff with me and we'll talk. (Good luck on that.)
I am currently crushing on Brendon Small, and Miyavi and Mr. Jay from America's Next Top Model. Also on any other smart, weird, funny people.
All my friends seem like when I met them I had met them before. Kismet you rule me. Total reincarnation. (that totally made me think of total recall hehe). And they are all like me but not like me and so crazy cool funny. Bethany we will totally have that vagina museum. Men will experience birth and menstruation. One day. (gah we're crazy chicks.) And you should all know I don't realize just how aggressive I get when I debate on things. (I can't believe that kid at the college thought i was really mad at him! I was like oh poor baby no! I just argue decisively. That is the way information is exchanged. I tell you mine you tell me yours and we try to change each other's minds. If yes yay, if no hey whatever. Gah...I have recently taken to saying gah a lot.)
When I was on the west coast all of a sudden all my pics were kissy faces...Probably cause it was my happy face. All my problems were a country away and I felt finally relaxed and happy and if there wasn't a volcano in Washington I would totally be there. Well there is one here but it is more a metaphorical one. heehee.
I am too complicated. I feel like an idiot most of the time and hate everything I say and do right after I do it. Thank you family who raises you to believe looks and how things look are everything and everyone's opinion is so important but your own. Oh yea and the whole you're fat, ugly, stupid, and worthless with no talent or skill thing totally helped too. Yay my past! (she says sarcastically). Why do you like me? I don't even like me! Seriously I think I am just too messed up for this reality. Maybe I could be okay in the dimensional reality Homer Simpson fell into with cones and geometric shapes but people just aren't my thing...Then why did everyone in my HS supposedly like me? And why does everyone I meet almost want to be my friend whether from college or online or what? What is it that makes people want to be around me or talk to me? The kind of fascination that goes hand in hand with watching a train wreck or a circus freakshow? Someone told someone else I knew in HS they were so lucky to have been my friend. They asked how did you get to be her friend? They asked in a way that implied that it was hard to do so and that it was a vastly popular seeked status. What's up with that? Is this a universal joke?
When I meet new people either I am introverted quiet me, or I am very talkative and controlling of the conversation and interrupt or I joke and insult and act like a complete jerk. This is all due to nerves and due to the fact I react like this without knowing it till later so as to keep people from liking me. This is a survival technique cause I am scared of people. I most likely have social anxiety. Bleh.
I am totally stealing your photos and editing them to look awesome (not that they weren't before). I have a photo obsession. I think life looks better through the frame of a camera. And I am totally subscribed to your blog, as well as seeing your updates and putting you into categories. Stalkerish? Not if I'm your friend right? just keeping me updated on what's up is all. hmm.
I think I am falling apart physically as well as emotionally don't you?
You Trust the floor is beneath your feet, I don't.
Yes, maybe I have a lot to read here, but unlike other people I don't hinder the loading of my profile with images and quiz results and the like but my words. They are worth all the tea in China...and a bag of chips! PS I MISS JAMIE!
How Can I tell you I don't like you?
If you don't like me then don't be my "friend"
sorry if you aren't on my top friends. nothing personal just that there are only so many spaces.
Message me Before you Friend me! Then Interact or get DELETED!
I have aim, elftown, neopets, hotmail/msn, livejournal (LIFE link), deviantart (artlink), lastfm (musiclink), sailormoon.com account, hi5, postalz.com, facebook, etc. Let me know if you want one.
Who I'd like to meet:
Phoenix: Spider Lady called me Adorable...I am?'s Friend Space (Top 36)
Phoenix: Spider Lady called me Adorable...I am? has 349 friends.
