Selected Activities:
stargazing, astrophotography, pondering the nature of the universe, hiking and back-country exploration, nature and landscape photography, bird and animal watching, marveling at nature, urban exploration and infiltration, rambling (as in wandering), gnashing my teeth about the human condition, growing plants, role playing, breaking laws (every single day), tinkering, yelling at the gods, arms collecting (you name it), fantasizing, experiencing delusions of grandeur, rock climbing, singing in the shower, lucid dreaming...
Thoughts On Nature:
Nature is intriguing and beautiful, ingeniously clever and indiscriminately cruel; I never tire of watching it, exploring it, and pondering it. From the explicit beauty of such creatures as a jaguar, eagle, or brumby, to the more implicit beauty of such creatures as forest slug, a salamander, or a dragon fly. From the delicate beauty of flowers on a plant that is considered a noxious weed, to the stark brutality of a lion that kills cubs it did not sire. From the ingenious ability of a bee to produce honey, to a wasp that insidiously paralyzes spiders so that its young can consume them alive. From a mother bear that would kill without hesitation to protect her cubs, to a black widow spider who kills and consumes her mate. The list is seemingly infinite.
Nature is dynamic and evolutionary, a reflection of the never-ending struggle to survive and adapt. Nature reflects architecture and structural engineering; we can see this by looking at wasps, birds, and spiders. Nature includes many permutations of society; we can see this in a colony of ants, a pack of wolves, or a murder of crows. Nature understands chemistry and physics; we can this in a bombardier beetle spitting super-heated fluid, the neurotoxin in a viper's bite, the pheromonal language of ants, or in a flower that presents an ultra-violet signature that can be perceived by a bee. Nature understands fluid dynamics; we cans see this in a bird flying, a shark cutting through water, a thistle seed floating in air, or a bumble bee whose flight should not be possible. Nature seems to trend towards homeostasis; we can see this in the graceful and brutal dance of predator and prey, and in the cyclical dependence between animals and plants. Nature presents a quizzical duality in being both astoundingly resilient, and precariously fragile. This list, too, is seemingly infinite.
What is the point of it all? I have no idea, but I find every bit of it wonderous and fascinating.
Sports:
Music
Music serves as a catalyst for the imagination, and a strong enhancer to the emotions. I find it fascinating that coherent, rhythmic vibrations can have an effect so profound on the human psyche. For me, trying to define my favorite music is like trying to choose my best (or worst) moment in life; some, perhaps many, choices may stand out, but in the end the total set of choices is so vast that even a top X list tends to boarder on the meaningless, and may do a disservice to choices whose prominence is not apparent at the particular moment the list is made.
Like many who have a great fondness for music, my tastes are broad and vary widely by mood. If I want to chill out and ponder I might listen to Mozart, Iron Maiden, or They Might Be Giants. If I want to dream about battle I might listen to KMFDM, Rob Zombie, or classic Metallica. If I want to wallow in angst I might listen to Johnny Cash, Nine Inch Nails, or the Violent Femms. And if I want to be amused, I listen to Vanilla Ice. But these are just a few random artists out of a few random genres among countless others I am fond of. And all of it is useful for momentarily casting off the fetters of this existence, and slipping into alternate realms of imagination...
A Delightfully Dark and Twisted Interpretation of a Childhood Fairy Tale
Music Quotes:
"It ain't that I don't hear, I just don't listen no more..." [John Mayall]
"Sometimes I give myself the creeps; sometimes my mind plays tricks on me..." [Green Day]
"I don't feel a thing; and I stopped remembering. The days are just like moments turned to hours..." [Yoko Kanno]
"I've got wild, staring eyes, and I've got a strong urge to fly... But I've got nowhere to fly to." [Pink Floyd]
"The more I sort it out, the more things get distorted;
I sort of think I'm better off just leaving it unsorted.
The more I try to change it's, course the more off course it goes; of course I'll reach my destination, someday, I suppose..." [The Mighty Mighty Bosstones]
"There's a shadow just behind me, shrouding every step i take; making every promise empty; pointing every finger at me.
" [Tool]
"The me that you know used to have feelings, but the blood has stopped pumping and he is left to decay. The me that you know is now made up of wires, and even when I'm right with you I'm so far away..." [Nine Inch Nails]
Attitude:
Movies
Selected Favourites:Into the Wild, Fight Club, The Matrix, Dr. Strangelove, Unforgiven, The Big Lebowski, Repo Man, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Forbidden Planet, Real Genius, Ghost World, Rob Roy, Shawn of the Dead, A Clockwork Orange, Time Bandits, Big Trouble in Little China, Army of Darkness (theatrical cut)
I'm a burnt-out computer/science/language geek at the tail end of a nervous breakdown. This site is intended to provide a fleeting, abridged glimpse into my mind, which is a complex and chaotic place. Some of the content here is tongue-in-cheek, some of it is very serious, and much of it is some mix of both; which is which and what is what is a riddle for you to solve, if you care to...
I can't seem to get very far into the whole blah-blah blogging thing, though I do read other people's blogs. [In case you're wondering, my favorite political blog is Curmugeonly & Skeptical, and my favorite techie blog is The Old New Thing.]
I do ramble and prattle, rant and reminisce, in the forums on The Wrong Planet. If you'd like to experience more Icarus, use the "Find all posts by..." link to bring up my recent writings. Be warned however; my raw posts are not for the faint of heart, or weak of spirit. [Currently on hiatus from WP. Too haunted.]
[This page is dynamic; last significant update: Saturday, 03.29.2008.]
[This profile is 100% reverse-hacked and hand-coded.]
My Life Sentence:
My Alignment:
"Chaotic neutral characters are extremely difficult to deal with."
"Lunatics and madmen tend toward chaotic neutral behavior."
My Mission Statement:
I am the chosen Avatar of a twisted consortium of deities, most of whom represent aspects of Chaos. These gods have instilled within me the burning desire to bring about the destruction of all society and civilization, and return the world to a state of true, natural Anarchy.
This event has been foretold and named by many human mythoi; I prefer to call it Ragnarok. As an Avatar of Chaos, I am destined to help bring Ragnarok about.
I am not entirely sure how or why I was chosen for this fate. Whether or not anyone knows or believes in my destiny will not affect its outcome; I am one of a few, but a few will be enough. Whether or not I am a willing player is inconsequential; Free Will and Fate are different sides of the same coin, and Luck is the edge of the coin.
My Leadership Profile
MBTI/Jung-type Profile
Primary:INTP (the Thinker) aka the Architect -
Greatest precision in thought and language. Can readily discern contradictions and inconsistencies. The world exists primarily to be understood. <1% of total population.
Secondary:INTJ (the Scientist) aka the Mastermind -
There is one attitude that sets them apart from other Rationals: they tend to be much more self-confident than the rest, having, for obscure reasons, developed a very strong will. <1% of total population.
I tend to be a very strong I, and a fairly strong N; I'm very borderline WRT T vs. F and P vs. J. I always seem to fall just a bit on the T side, but P vs. J can go either way. Make of that what you will.
My Defense:
I am not crazy, I’m eccentric; the dividing lines are fuzzy and fine, but the distinction is paramount.
I am not pretentious; I simply love words and language, and derive great pleasure from using them in colourful and unconventional ways. The manner in which I write and speak is a very direct reflection of how I think – nothing more.
I am not a know-it-all; whatever knowledge I may possess is like the tiniest grain of sand upon an infinite beach. Trying to learn and understand are simply my innate passions, and trying to share what I’ve learned (or think I’ve learned) is simply my nature. The people I appreciate most are those I can learn from.
I do not need to always be right; when I find that I am wrong, I learn something - when I’m right, I learn nothing. One of my greatest fears is being wrong and not realizing it. Please do me the honour of letting me know when you think I’m wrong. If I turn out to be wrong, I will thank you; if I do turn out to be right, please don’t hold it against me.
I am not inherently ornery or difficult; I am complex, strong willed, and fiercely individualistic. My reflexive reaction to perceived or suspected attempts to manipulate me tend to be adversarial in the extreme. I can overreact in this vein sometimes.
I am not a bitter cynic; I am a dispassionate realist and a passionate visionary who is often depressed by things I perceive when I look at the world. I hold little hope for humans as a species, not because I am full of doom and gloom, but because when I look to the future and ponder probable outcomes weighed against historical trends, current trends, and human nature, I see nothing good in store for us. I hope I’m wrong.
"What is an anarchist? One who, choosing, accepts the responsibility of choice." [Ursula K. LeGuinn]
"I do not wish to remove from my prison to a prison a little larger. I wish to break all prisons." [Ralph Waldo Emerson]
"Anyone in a free society where the laws are unjust has an obligation to break the law." [Henry David Thoreau]
"Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. It’s not entitlement. An entitlement is what people on welfare get, and how free are they? It’s not an endlessly expanding list of rights--the ‘right’ to education, the ‘right’ to health care, the ‘right’ to food and housing. That’s not freedom, that’s dependency. Those aren’t rights, those are the rations of slavery--hay and a barn for human cattle. There’s only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." [P. J. O'Rourke]
"Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves." [Henry David Thoreau]
"I am an anarchist! Wherefore I will not rule and also ruled I will not be." [John Henry Mackay]
"You think I'm fuckin' around here!? MARK IT ZERO!"
[Walter Sobchak, The Big Lebowski]
"Fear profits a man nothing."
[Herger the Joyous, The 13th Warrior]
"If there's one thing this last week has taught me, it's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it."
[Clarence Worley, True Romance]
"The things you own end up owning you."
[Tyler Durden, Fight Club]
"Kneel before me, son of Jor-El!"
[Jake, Passage of Four]
"Are you crazy? Is that what your problem is?"
[Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China]
"Yes, I am a man possessed by many demons. Polite demons that would open the door for a lady carrying too many parcels, but demons nonetheless!"
[Kevin McDonald in "Pit of Ultimate Darkness", a Kids In The Hall skit]
"Are you people insane?! I'm the director! I make the casting decisions around here!"
[Ed Wood, Ed Wood]
"Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker."
[John McClane, Die Hard]
"I got tired of coming up with last-minute, desperate solutions to impossible problems created by other FUCKING people."
[William Stranix, Under Seige]
"Fuck! Even in the future nothing works!"
[Dark Helmet, Spaceballs]
"What you want is irrelevant; what you've chosen is at hand."
[Spock, Star Trek VI]
"Find a piece of metal, and shove it in there!"
[Cdr. Buck Murdock, Airplane 2]
"Did he just say, 'making fuck'?"
[some chick, Clerks]
"Look at the strength of your body, the desire in your heart... I gave you this!"
[Thulsa Doom, Conan the Barbarian]
"'New way'? What's this about a 'new way'?"
[Alexander DeLarge, A Clockwork Orange]
"They forgot one thing, John... Monsters! Monsters from the id!"
[Lt. 'Doc' Ostrow, Forbidden Planet]
"Time is the fire in which we burn."
[Dr. Tolian Soran, Star Trek: Generations]
"Deserve ain't got nothin' to do with it."
[William Munny, Unforgiven]
"I feel the power of evil coursing through my veins, filling every corner of my being with the desire to do wrong."
[Evil, Time Bandits]
"Life is pain, highness; anyone who says differently is selling something."
[The Dread Pirate Wesley, The Princess Bride]
"'The statue of liberty is kaput?' That's disconcerting."
[Captain John H. Miller, Saving Private Ryan]
Who I'd like to meet: Benjamin Franklin, Nikola Tesla, Edward D. Wood, Jr., Howard Phillips Lovecraft, Edgar Allan Poe, Jesus, Satan, Eris, Loki, the Coyote Spirit, Sir Winston Chirchill, Adolph Hitler, Michael Faraday, Yoda, Ted Nugent, Gandalf, Sauron, Tinkerbell, Carl Sagan, Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, Sir William Wallace, Galileo Galilei, Mohammad, Aberham Lincoln, Bruce Campbell, Morgan Freeman, Roger Schulz, Henry Ford, Arnold Rimmer, Edward Hubble, Aleister Crowley, Dr. John Henry "Doc" Holiday, Sherlock Holmes, Gen. George S. Patton Jr., William Shakespeare, Terry Gilliam...
