MySpacea place for friends

Joseph Merrick has lived a life of struggle and pain. We all know the tragic tale of 'The Elephant Man', Young Joseph being forced into being a travelling circus freak due to the sheer disgust of an abomination he was (though Merrick had always insisted he was not "an animal" as his 'Elephant Man' nickname implied, but in fact "a human being"). Then one day, the unluckiest guy in the world got a bit luckier - he escaped and met Anthony Hopkins who took him in under his wing.

'The Elephant Man', as he was known back then, would live in the comfort of Hopkins' secret room, putting together what he thought would be his Magnum Opus - a model of the Church that stood outside the window of his bedsit. Tragically, yet beautifully, Merrick died to the sound of Samuel Barber's 'Adagio For Strings' after glueing the last pieces of the model together. A tragic tale, if ever there was one.

But in the late 1900's, Japanese scientists of World War II who had gone into hiding to avoid persercution of their sinful experiments, began to do controversial tests yet again. By 1984, they had amazingly revived the first ever dead human being.

Joseph Merrick

RAP CAREER 1

The Elephant Man successfully escaped from the confines of the Japanese war scientists labaratories and fled to the west - the land of the free. He returned back home to the U.K. and began to see what had happened to the world. No longer was he stared at anymore - he was socially accepted as being just as normal as everyone else. This cheered up our Elephant friend and gave him a new lease of life. He now had the confidence to do what he had always wanted to do - tell his story to the world.

Merrick began to attend hip hop and rap nights around Wales in the early 90's - an artform he admired for his focus on lyricism and sincere honesty. He began to pen his own lyrics, inspired by the rapstars around at the time that he liked - Eazy-E, Snoop Dogg, 2Pac, Dr. Dre, Ice Cube and Westside Connection, amongst others. He home-recorded his first single "Fuck The East Coast", which he took to Death Row Records label head Suge Knight. As Merrick arrived for his appointment with Knight, he was greeted with vast volumes of unstoppable laughter due to his disgusting appearence. His confidence took a massive dent, and Suge Knight informing him that "he just wasn't marketable" was the final nail in the coffin.

RAP CAREER 2

Joseph Merrick had all but forgotton his rap career until one night he bumped into the man who would come to be his greatest friend in the Tesco in Wales.

DJ Neil Harris

The enigmatic and critically acclaimed DJ was a big fan of Merrick's 'Fuck The East Coast', which had become something of a cult hit for hip hop purists. He finally gave Merrick the break he had been waiting for all his life - to provide the vocals for his upcoming debut album 'Let's Fuck'. Merrick happily obliged, and was seen to walk with a new bounce in his crooked stride.

But something changed inside Merrick during the recording process for the album. After all these years of dreaming what could of been if he had made it as a rap star - he realised that people would only have come to see his show to see him. The freak. The animal. The Elephant Man.

He wanted to fight back against these people - the same people who had made his life a misery in the 1800's when he performed as a circus freak. Merrick dropped his gangsta schtick that had attracted DJ Neil Harris to his style from 'Fuck The East Coast' and adopted a more socially conscious and deep approach.

But was it too late to change his style suddenly? When it came to cut his vocal for the lead single on the album, 'The Elephant Man Played Piano In The Miles Davis Quintet', Merrick froze up... then came out with the line which would single-handedly change his life forever.

"I am not an animal! I am a human being!"

Rumours have it that DJ Neil Harris lost track of the recording after this heartbreaking line and just let Merrick roll, shellshocked. One take and the track was complete.

After the recording of the album, Merrick approached Harris before it went to print and requested he could change his name from Merrick back to "The Elephant Man". He felt the change was neccesary - as by adopting the name given to him by his detractors he had reclaimed it as his own. This move was inspired by his favourite rap stars who had always referred to each other as "Nigga"

DJ Neil Harris and The Elephant Man went on to enjoy much critical acclaim (especially for his brutally honest lyricsim which "revealed his inner torment in a breathtakingly tragic manner" as The Wire put it) and in The Elephant Man a star was born. He travelled the globe promoting the album with his DJ and felt he had truly made it.

But just as things were looking good - ragga artists Elephant Man struck yet another blow to Merrick by suing him for copyright breach by using his name. Merrick argued that he had been working under the name since the 1800's - however Elephant Man's legal team cited that Merrick had since dropped the name and recorded under his birth-name so he was right to take the name when he did.

Massive legal fees meant that everything Merrick had worked towards came crashing down before him - he was once again Joseph Merrick the pathetic loser and disgusting abomination.

Merrick then went on to release "Elephant-Size: The Mixtape", which did not go down well critically or sales-wise. Detractors claimed that his lyricism was stale and re-hashed from the 'Lets Fuck' album - while his choice of beats to rap over were also poor, by trying to mix together artists like Meshuggah and Nelly Furtado.

DJ NEIL HARRIS R.I.P + THE FUTURE

In early 2007 DJ Neil Harris tragically passed away after being fatally shot by an unknown assailant. As he died in his luxury Spanish villa he wrote a tracklist of 12 songs in his own blood on his kitchen floor. High-flying hip hop DJ and producer 'GM Ghoul' decided to make this final mixtape and entitle it 'DJ Neil Harris R.I.P.'. The standout track on the album was once again 'The Elephant Man Played Piano' (the song title had dropped '...with the Miles Davis Quintent' from the end, presumably due to a lack of blood). The track was just as exceptional as the first time round. Merrick was applauded for his exceptional wordplay - he stated in the final verse that he was infact "An Animal" and not "A human being" as he contested. This puzzling contradiction set the rap world alight and was universally acclaimed for its innovation in lyricism.

Merrick, under his Joseph Merrick moniker, was back in business.

But then Merrick came out and vowed never to rap again, due to his disgust at the murder of DJ Neil Harris.

Merrick would then attend Bill Spoon's big birthday bash where he would meet future band members...

- Afghan-born Brit, Mohammed Smith, the BNP-voting, islam-hating, britain-loving, last-name-changing-by-deed-poll-to-cover-his-muslim-background, virtuoso guitarist who has played for Bill Spoon and Posting Shredded Vaginal Flesh Thru Ur Keyhole.

- Phil Collins, acclaimed drummer of Genesis and solo success in his own right.

- The exceptionally talented yet relatively unknown Pepe Le Pew III, who plays bass for Les Animalz

Merrick decided modern rock music would be the new path to him - he had the smallest taste fame and had the hunger to eat the whole buffet. He decided to pursure a career in the rocky indudstry because it is the most lucrative path he could take at the moment. Some early critics are already telling us he has sold out - especially after signing the $6 million deal with EMI - and that his lyrics are self-indulgent, repetitive and yet again re-hashed from old material. But we don't care - because this is rock n roll baby :D! The future is here! The future is now!

As the band told us themselves "2008 is the Year of Les Animalz!!!"

Look out world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!