Who I'd like to meet: 1. Bigfoot's sister. Again.
2. Chuck Norris' karate teacher - so that I can tell him there's a lot he forgot to teach him.
'Cause I just beat up Chuck Norris an hour ago. I took that exercise machine he sells on TV, and shoved it up his butt so hard, his beard fell off. He was just bent over, crying, trying to pick up his beard hairs off the ground and re-attach them to his face. Pathetic.
3. All of Steven Seagal's ex-wives - so that I can show them what it's like to be with a real man.
4. All of the UFC fighters. They're pussies. I challenged all of them. I got in the middle of the octagon. Greased myself up. Got completely naked. None of them would fight me. They're all pussies.
5. That one Solid Gold dancer chick with the really big hair.
Hi! Haven't heard from you in a while!! How is everything?? Still being as awesome as ever I suspect I worked at another wrestling event, it was a lot of fun! Thought of ya!!
