Last year I upgraded from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new
program began unexpected
child processing that took
up a lot of space and valuable
resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed
itself into all other programs
and now monitors all other system
activity. Applications such as
Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0
, Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and
Golfing 3.6.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0
in the background while attempting
to run my favorite applications.
I'm thinking about going back to
Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall
doesn't work on Wife 1.0 .
Please help!
Thanks,
Troubled User.....
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem
that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0,
thinking that it is just a
Utilities and Entertainment
program.
Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and is
designed by its Creator to
run EVERYTHING !!! It is
also impossible to delete
Wife 1.0 and to return to
Girlfriend 7.0.
It is
impossible to uninstall,
or purge the program files
from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend
7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed
to not allow this.
Look in your
Wife 1.0 manual under
Warnings-Alimony/Child Support.
I recommend that you keep Wife
1.0 and work on improving the
situation.
I suggest installing
the background application
"Yes Dear" to alleviate
software augmentation.
The best course of action
is to enter the command
C:..APOLOGIZE! Because
ultimately you will have
to give the APOLOGIZE
command before the system
will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program,
but it tends to be very high
maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes
with several support programs,
such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 ,
Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2
However, be very careful how
you use these programs.
Improper use will cause
the system to launch the
program Nag Nag 9.5.
Once this happens, the only
way to improve the performance
of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
additional software.
I recommend Flowers 2.1
and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under
any circumstances, install
Secretary With Short Skirt
3.3 .
This application is
not supported by Wife 1.0
and will cause irreversible
damage to the operating system!
My Master knows all my wants and needs
Hearing my every heartfelt prayer
He has a way or reaching out to me
That lets me know that He is there.
My Master knows each burden I face
In His wonderful caring way
He makes my burdens so much lighter
When I kneel to Him and pray.
I see my Master in a beautiful sunrise
He created all this beauty for our eyes
And He wants each of us to understand
Everything is just the way He planned.
I walk and talk with my Master every day
I trust Him to lead me along the way
When I say my prayers I know He is there
I have complete faith in His loving care.
Baptism is required of all believers in Christ as an act of obedience to Christ, under the authority of His New Testament churches, and as the purest and dearest confession of one’s faith in Jesus Christ.
This was proved first by the personal example of Jesus when he came to John to be baptized in Jordan that “He might fulfill all righteousness.”
He clearly replaces the earlier baptism of repentance practiced by John as preparation for the Messiah
(Matthew 3:1-5) as that to be practiced by His followers
(John 4:1,2.)
Baptism then is not an “option” for the believer in Christ but it is an “ordinance.”
There are two ordinances which were established by Christ to be observed by His churches.
By “ordinances” we mean that they were ordained by Him for His people until His returned.
Paul admonished the Corinthians to “keep the ordinances which I delivered unto you” (1Corinthians 11:2).These two ordinances are Baptism and the Lord’s Supper.
These ordinances are symbols setting forth divine truth.
They are not sacraments; that is, saving acts, conveying grace.
They do not have power to save or to add to salvation.
Rather, they are external testimony to the
“union with Christ” which has already taken place.
"What is Baptism then?"
Christian baptism is the immersion of a believer in water by authority of one of His churches in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Baptism must have the right subject
It has already been pointed out that baptism follows salvation.
Since baptism is a picture of the “new birth”
experience of becoming “dead to sin and alive unto God,” only the person having the experience can tell the story.
The Ethiopian eunuch asked, “See, here is winter; what doth hinder me to be baptized?” to this, Philip responded,“If thou believest…,thou mayest”(Acts 8:36-37).
This means that the form of baptism experienced without salvation is not baptism. It is so that infant baptism is repudiated. Baptism is true baptism only if the person baptized has already been saved.
The mode of Baptism is one
The mode of baptism in the New Testament is immersion, and immersion only. This is the only meaning of the word in the original language.
There is no serious debate among biblical scholars that this is true. The phrases used demand it. They include “with water,” much water,”
In Jordan,” “going down into the water,” “buried with Him,” and others.
Baptism tells a story. Use another form and it tells another story. Pouring and sprinkling do not convey the truth as presented in immersion. If a believer desires to be obedient to Christ in baptism, there is just one mode for that obedience.
There is a right meaning for baptism
Baptism presents historical truth. The death, burial and resurrection of our Lord are dramatically shown in the burial and resurrection in water.
There is experiential truth in the portrayal of the experience of the believer once dead in sin and now alive through faith in Jesus Christ to walk in “newness of life.” The ordinance also points to prophetic truth, the Christian hope of a bodily resurrection.
Baptism by the right authority
The ordinances were clearly given to the churches (Matthew 28; 1 Corinthians 11).
Their practice
in New Testament purity is the responsibility of true New Testament churches. It is not left to individuals. Only in unusual circumstances does this occur and then only with the approval of the churches.
No ecclesiastic has such authority. It is for the New Testament churches to authorize baptism and say who is worthy to receive it.
Thus, the vote is taken in Acts 10, “Can anyone forbid water that these should be baptized? “ Paul wrote,
“One Lord, one faith, one baptism.” We can never accept any other Lord but Jesus.
We can only exercise the faith he imparts. We can only receive the baptism which squares with the revealed word of God.
Thus, there is no
”re-baptism” but, rather, baptism experienced by the believer “once for all.”
“In the name,” Jesus said (Matthew 28:9.) The Son, the
approving Father, and the attesting Spirit were all there when the ordinance was begun.
It is “in His name” that the baptized believer goes forth to witness.
"Everything"
Just to be with me, You gave everything
To be like me, You came to earth
You lived my life among humanity
And no one gave You worth
You suffered greatly at the hands
Of those You came to save
And then collecting all our sins
You took them to the grave.
Defeating death and Satan’s grip
You rose to set me free
From all the shackles of this earth
And all infirmity
So that You could be with me
And call me, dearest friend
I am Your special chosen one
Eternally , Amen.
"God's WILL"
1 Thessalonians 5:16
Lord, thank you for this moment
Even if affliction rules the day
I thank you for each breath I take
You said it would be this way
For You have promised eternal life
But only if we walk in Your Will
And the Will of God is the Word
In Him let our hearts be still
Close your eyes and meet with Him
Take one step through each loss
Following Him in faith and trust
Take one step back to the Cross
For the Will of God is Salvation
So leave your old life behind
Walking with His Divine direction
And the Path of Christ you will find
God's Will is surely a clear call
His Word is a lamp to our feet
But still we depend upon our faith
Seeking Him at His mercy seat
He desires that no one should perish
Be submissive surrender your soul
Your suffering can be purposeful
His Will is the ultimate goal
So rejoice and pray unceasingly
Then step blindly around the bend
Standing at the foot of the Cross
Where His light shines without end.
"THIS IS THE DAY"
Today is my wife's birthday.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
She is...well, never mind.
She's the pretty one on the left in the picture.
Let me tell you about my wife.
She is the light of my life in this world.
She is the reason I hurry home from work each day.
She puts a smile on my face.
She calms my frazzled nerves.
She smiles better than Mona Lisa.
She wiggles her nose better than Peter Rabbit.
She can wrinkle up her face cuter than our two pugs.
She can flash her eyes better than a Fourth of July fireworks display.
She is so cute I get joy just being in the same room with her.
She laughs at my jokes (most people just moan).
She scratches places on my back that I cannot reach, and her touch is ten times better than that wooden back-scratcher we have.
She compliments my cooking.
She always thanks me when I do something for her.
She talks to me and with me...I love that.
She loves me...I don't know why, but she does.
She loves computers as much...no, more...as I do (she has bunches of websites).
She gets up with me at 5:00 am and we have breakfast together before I go to work.
If I leave this world before she does, I will stand before our Lord, praising Him with all of my being, but I will always be looking out of the corner of my eye, looking forward to the time when she joins me in forever.
Bonnie J. Scoggins, I love you from the depth of my being.
The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a willful malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed,"Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality," or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed. Some other symptoms:
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Foul vocal emissions
[c] Amnesia of origin
[d] Lack of peace and joy
[e] Selfish or violent behavior
[f] Depression or confusion in the mental component
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Idolatry
[i] Rebellion The Manufacturer
Who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.The toll free number to call for repair in all areas is:P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Patience
[e] Kindness
[f] Goodness
[g] Faithfulness
[h] Gentleness
[i] Self-controlPlease see the operating manual<
HOLY BIBLE:
For further detailson the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to allrepaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring andassistance from a resident Maintenance Technician,The Holy Ghost. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take uppermanent residence on the premises!
WARNING:
Continuing to operate the human being unit withoutcorrection voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result inthe human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on
JESUS.DANGER:
The human being units not responding to this recallaction will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you
for your
attention.
________________________
"The Resume of Jesus Christ"
Address: Ephesians 1:20
Phone: Romans 10:13
Website: The Bible.
Keywords: Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus
Hello. My name is Jesus -The Christ. Many call me Lord! I've sent you my resume because I'm seeking the top management position in your heart. Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my resume.
Qualifications
I founded the earth and established the heavens, (See Proverbs 3:19)
I formed man from the dust of the ground, (See Genesis 2:7)
I breathed into man the breath of life, (See Genesis 2:7)
I redeemed man from the curse of the law, (See Galatians 3:13)
The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through me, (See Galatians 3:14)
Occupational Background
I've only had one employer, (See Luke 2:49).
I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.
My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me, (See Matthew 3:15-17)
Skills Work Experiences
Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor to be poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty them that are bruised, (See Luke 4:18).
I am a Wonderful Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (See Proverbs 1:33).
Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you of your sins, (See I John 1:7-9)
Educational Background
I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and understanding, (See Proverbs 2:6).
In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (See Colossians 2:3).
My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto your feet and a lamp unto your path, (See Psalms 119:105).
I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (See Psalms 44:21).
Major Accomplishments
I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all times, (See Genesis 1:26).
I laid down my life so that you may live, (See II Corinthians 5:15).
I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them openly, (See Colossians 2:15).
I've miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead!
There are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here. You can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot - the BIBLE. You don't need an Internet connection or computer to access my website.
References
Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance
In Summation
Now that you've read my resume, I'm confident that I'm the only candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart. In summation, I will properly direct your paths, (See Proverbs 3:5-6), and lead you into everlasting life, (See John 6:47). When can I start? Time is of the essence.(See Hebrews 3:15).
And the Lord Shall guide you continually and satisfy you in drought and in dry places. And make strong your bones. And you shall be like a watered garden. And like a Spring of water whose waters fail not Isa. 58:11
*wishing you lots of blessings and love, 4rm urs little sis in Christ, angie*
Just wanted to drop by and let u know I am still alive I have not forgot about u I just have been really busy God bless you U must have ur thing set to where u cannnot send comments with the pictures I know I have tried
WHEN YOU FEEL LOST.... REMEMBER IN HIM YOU ARE FOUND!!
WHEN ALL HOPE SEEMS GONE.... REMEMBER HE LIVES!!
WHEN YOU CANT FIND THE RIGHT ROAD TO TAKE.... REMEMBER HE IS THE WAY!!
WHEN DOUBT AND FEAR COVER YOUR EYES.... KNOW THAT WE DO NOT WALK BY SIGHT!
WHEN YOUR HEART IS BROKEN.... KNOW HE BORE ALL OUR PAIN!
WHEN ALL HAVE FORSAKEN YOU.... KNOW HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU!
WHEN YOU ARE IN NEED.... HE IS YOUR PROVIDER!!!
WHEN YOU CELEBRATE... HE IS YOUR JOY!!!
WHEN YOU NEED TO BE SET FREE... HE IS YOUR SAVIOR!!!!!!!
"I HAVE LOVED YOU WITH AN EVERLASTING LOVE..." JESUS
<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o86/jeannie1956/Jesus-w-heart-glitterfy.gif" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>
Thank you soo much bj for keeping me in mind, sorry I havent answered ur comments been in the hospital for quite a while and tryin to get a hold of everyone, soo deeply srry abt that, hope ur doin good, =) ur soo sweet thanks for the lovely comments, they really do inspire me, =) stay blessed always friend from ur little sis in Christ *angie*
After starting a new diet I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my
favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies.
I felt this was no accident, so I prayed..."Lord, it's up to you, if you
want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery." And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was! God is so Good!"
Love Jeannie, Your Sister in Christ
† Jesus Loves You <><
Check Out My Page on, HisHolySpace
http://www.hisholyspace.com/jesus4jeannie
From a strictly Mathematical Viewpoint:
What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 101%? What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these Questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 1 9 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that: While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Love of God that will put you over the top!
