DisembAudio is the word famous synthesized voice behind RiffTrax's Patented "Perfect Synch Technology." He has long been a player in the world of synthesized voices, and has worked in all areas of the industry.
Originally thrust into the world of RiffTrax due to fluke circumstances, (mainly due to the fact that DisembAudio's voice was the absolute, rock bottom, cheapest one available), he has since become a beloved institution of the RiffTrax universe. He boasts an army of followers, "DisembAudio's Squadio," which has been compared to the "Claymates" of former American Idol Clay Aiken, in both their numbers and their tendency to be comprised of mostly middle aged house wives and gay men.
DisembAudio entered the world of Voice Synthesis against the wishes of his parents. His father was one of those toy monkeys that bangs cymbals together and his mother was a dumpy level, an instrument used for surveying.
They had hoped that DisembAudio would choose a more respectable career, such as the button you press before you cross the street, but for a young child with posters of the voice of KITT and Dr. Sbaitso on his wall, such a boring career would not do. DisembAudio left home in the middle of the night and hitchhiked to Hollywood, serving as a CB Radio companion to lonely truckers in order to pay his way. To this day he becomes misty eyed whenever he hears the theme from "Convoy" playing on a bar jukebox (he is currently soliciting suggestions for better bars to hang out in.)
Upon arrival in Hollywood, DisembAudio set to work synthesizing his voice for anyone who was willing to listen. He worked as the movie announcer for MuveeFön, a direct competitor to MovieFone which was unfortunately impossible for consumers to remember how to spell and went bankrupt in a week and a half. He announced understudies for a sixth grade production of "The Pied Piper of Hamlin", but he was only paid in lukewarm punch. He attempted to work as the announcer for the LA Subway system, but his voice was too easy to understand, and he was quickly fired. In a final act of desperation, he attempted to rob a bank. This debacle led to his arrest and the brief popularity of the catch phrase "You can't rob a bank with no hands."
Having hit rock bottom, DisembAudio vowed to never end up in prison again. He changed his work ethic, briefly sobered up and most importantly, lowered his asking price to well under half the rate of his nearest competitor. Soon the work was rolling in. Appearances on pop albums led DisembAudio to be the first artist since the Beatles to appear on seven of the top ten hits at one time. He landed a job as Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's personal vocal navigation system in his Hummer. And of course, he met up with Mike Nelson at the RiffTrax studio.
DisembAudio is excited to be part of the RiffTrax team, and hopes that future movies feature more robots. He also would like to synch lines for foreign language films and musicals, in order to show off his synthesized vocal talents. He would like to work with a Speak 'n Spell as a guest syncher.
A response to the haters drawn by one of the devoted members of DisembAudio's Squadio
Whats up? I found this site and thought i'd tell everyone, it shows you if anyone at school likes you. I dont know how it works but its really cool, it told me a couple different people who have crushes on me since gradeschool. You gotta try it!
What's up Nilbog Neighbor!?! Please excuse the mass comment but tomorrow at 5:30am I am headed to Italy to meet up with the original Troll 2 Italian film crew and I need to share this news with you lightning-bolt-quick. I want to make sure you know about the unbelievably YUMMY Troll 2 news. SPECIAL TROLL 2 SCREENINGS IN LOS ANGELES AND SALT LAKE CITY w/ Director Claudio Fragasso and cast-members!
LOS ANGELES - August 10th, Nuart Theatre - 11:59 PM, Hosted By SillyCon.
SALT LAKE CITY – August 11th, Tower Theatre – 10:30 PM, Hosted By The Lost Media Archive.
These Troll 2 screenings will go down in Nilbog-house-swapping-history. Provocative Details found here.
Concentrate harder and help me spread this Nilbog News…
PS: The teaser for our Troll 2 documentary, Best Worst Movie, is finished and will be released in the coming days. Watch for it very soon!
Hey DisembAudio! Thanks for adding me as a friend! I appreciate all your help in keeping my trusty iPod Mini up to key with James Bond. Wow! What a hottie! I'm talking about you of course! Now don't cry, you'll spark up a fire! Loveyou!
I cannot thank you enough for all your hard work. Has anyone ever told you that you resemble Neil Patrick Harris a little bit? In the voicebox. . .Ever?
Good afternoon from Nilbog. George Hardy here... "Farmer Waits" - just wanted to make sure you knew about the upcoming Troll 2 screenings/parties. This will be the first time in history that Troll 2 will be screened in 35mm at several theaters throughout the country. Screenings, are taking place in San Fran, Houston, Seattle, Boston, L.A., Salt Lake City, Atlanta, and more...
Make sure you check out this page for more info.
Also, I would suggest you get tickets early, as all of our other screenings have sold-out. I still feel bad about our Austin screening... their was a group of kids that drove all the way from New Orleans, who could not get in, because the theater was beyond capacity.
Myself, along with other cast-members will be attending the screenings. Going to be a blast! Hope to see you at one of the screenings.
You are invited - But, please - don't bring that "Good-fer-nuthin'playboy son of the coopers"
