The Last Temptation of Jeff
The Biography
Extract From The Biographical Encyclopaedia of Artists, Songs and Tunes:
SINGER, Dave The Happy
(b. David The Happy Singer 19--, d. 2004)
By Dr Abel Dressich,
SAd, SWi, NE.
Philadelphia Institute
for Social Studies, Performance, Opera, Opiates, and Rhythm;
Pennsylvania.
Dave The Happy Singer
(a.k.a. The Abominable Showman, Still Dave, Oh Happy Dave, The Third Ronnie, Jake The
Peg) was born David The Happy Singer in the twentieth century. His
parents were tree psychologists from the city of Yorkshire, England.
After a time, he went to school. He often caught the bus, as Dave
once recalled: ’I recall I often caught the bus to school.’
Blessed with talents for the Blues, cheese-making and modern
languages, careers advisers recommended he become a blue-cheese maker
abroad. Rebellious even at such a tender age, David went to
university instead, where he made several important contributions to
the Progressive school of stone-masonry and invented the ring donut.
While at university,
David took the first step on his path to becoming a worldwide
phenomenon, by changing his name to Dave The Happy Singer, after
complaining that his birth-name left him open to ridicule from fellow
academics. About this time, he was already very popular for his
on-stage work, supporting many local artists before the invention of
the bar-stool. His repertoire at the time consisted of two numbers,
the skiffle standard ’Halitosis Jones’ and Dave’s original ’Community
Chest’, inspired by a miners’ strike. It is said he often sang both
songs at once for several hours.
It was on a train from
Putsnethwaith, England to Abersangbaddly, Wales (western Britain)
that Dave met his first love, Trandy Bosthwyck. Trandy winded him
with her birdcage in a crowded buffet car. ’She took my breath
away,’ remembers Dave, a tear in his eye. Tragedy was just around
the corner, however. After a whirlwind romance, Trandy was fatally
wounded by a falling box of pencils in a stationer’s shop in Bottoms
Wells, Cumbria (nr. London, England). Dave was inconsolable, and
wrote ’Happy’ the following day.
Although ’Song For My
Friends’ topped the Croatian singles chart, Dave first made his mark
on the British audience with ’Too Happy To Sing The Blues’, a song Dave
wrote whilst taking a bath in a stranger’s house. The song is a
powerful metaphor for the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian empire,
yet is perhaps best loved for its innuendo and pop-culture
references. Interestingly, THTSTB, the earlier ’I’m Never Gonna Do It
Again’ and ’If I Told You How I Feel’ all feature references to
television programs Dave The Happy Singer devised for several media
companies in the late 1970’s.
’Everybody’s Best Friend’
was the first of Dave’s songs to mention Halifax (a town in West
Yorkshire, England), a concept which took fans and critics by
surprise. Pent Hersout of Entropy magazine remarks: ’This was by no
means the first reference to a dismal West Yorkshire town in a song
of unrequited love, but it certainly provided direct inspiration for
such later hits as "I Left My Heart In Huddersfield", recorded by
Nu-Punk outfit Tentonfish, and Windy McCraight’s dolorous folk
ballad, "Cleckheaton Lady, Die"’.
However, Dave The Happy
Singer is probably best known for ’Red, Yellow, Pink, And Green’,
the football anthem he wrote on a hotel bill whilst working as a
hay-straightener in Nassbein, Germany. In his seminal work, Toon
Choons: Three Centuries of Cheerful Vocalists on Tyneside, the music
historian Harpick Fleston gushes: ’Rhythm and Blues
sensibilities are combined with a gentle admonition of the body
politic, creating an opus of outstanding profundity which is then
cleverly and modestly disguised as a formulaic, highly derivative
song of sexual desire. ’Red, Yellow, Pink, And Green’ appeals to man’s
basic desire for affection above all else, but tempers this with
subtle yet telling reminders of history’s woeful lessons. This is a
largely subconscious dichotomy which accounts for the unbridled
appeal of a true and undisputed classic.’ Dave summed up the
reasons for the tune’s popularity as ’The fact that so many people
like it.’
Dave The Happy Singer
died of a lentil overdose in 2004. He continues to record and
perform.
© 2005
P.I.S.S.P.O.O.R., P.A., and B.E.A.S.T., Inc.
Reproduced by kind
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