About me: Long walks on the beach are for suckers. I prefer short sprints from the cops. I'm the funniest guy you've ever met, even when I'm not joking. I'm the most romantic person you never dated. I could be everything you want your boyfriend to be, but i'm not. I don't smoke because I like it, I smoke because I know other people hate it. I'm 100% dedicated to physical humor, as a matter of fact, if you ever see me, remind me of that fact. I'll prove it by giving you a swift kick to the nuts. You're not looking for a boyfriend? Good that's exactly what I'm not. Do you believe in heaven? Me too. Are you going there? Yeah, Me either. I promise, I'll only tell you to shut your fucking mouth when you deserve it. I support abortions, but I dont think they should be legal. Thanks for telling me about your shitty relationship, now take your shirt off. Remember what I say for two reasons. 1. Because I don't, and 2. Because it'll be the smartest thing you've ever heard. If you can take advantage of somebody, you should. I hope you hurt yourself in a fantastically funny way, and I get to see it. I'm not rude, sarcastic, or brash, I'm just much more honest than you are. I take flowers on 1st dates, and condoms on 2nds. You think I'm cocky because I'm compensating, I think you're compensating because I'm cocky. I think children are the future, unless we stop them now. And last of all, I'm extremely happy you laugh at your own jokes... because nobody else does. Fuck You.
there are two things i needed to tell you before i forgot.
one: im not jealous of dustin. at all.
two:
Dec 11, 2006 11:14 PM i think the reason why it was so funny is because you started off saying it like it was a cool word then you realized "oh shit.. i can't believe i'm saying 'farty' " and you quieted down. HAHAHAHAHA
I know huh? Well im doing pretty good. Moved out of the valley to austin and i love it here so far..im also expecting my 3rd baby and im 5 months..i know, i bet ur thinking im crazy well yeah i know..but im happy!! How are you doing?
