Reality Contortionist
"The truth is you can be orphaned again and again and again. The truth is you will be. And the secret is, this will hurt less and less each time until you can't feel a thing."

Male
27 years old
Davenport, Iowa
United States



Last Login: 12/5/2008
Mood: adventurous Mood Image
View My: Pics | Videos

   Contacting Reality Contortionist

 MySpace URL: 



    Reality Contortionist's Interests
GeneralWriting. Skating. Living. Chilling. Challenging myself. Challenging others. Becoming one with myself. Becoming one with my schizophrenia. Never being happy with normal. Always looking for something new. Getting outside myself. Looking for happiness. Photobucket
MusicThe Rolling Stones. Dropkick Murphy. Flogging Molly. Hot Hot Heat. Tapes 'N' Tapes. Bad Religion. Cake. The Cribs. The Go! Team. The Gossip. The Killers. Jimmy Eat World. Linkin Park. Rancid. Sum 41. Third Eye Blind.Less Than Jake.
MoviesFor too long, movies were my life. I could list a thousand that I thought were excellent, some I thought were decent, but no matter what, "The Omega Code" was the worst movie ever made. Fuck you Casper Van Dien. While I'm at it, you too Paul Walker. Give me something with some thought, some surprises and too many cult classic movies. Kevin Smith. Christopher Nolan. Quentin Tarantino
TelevisionPhotobucket
BooksPhotobucket Chuck Palahniuk. Bret Easton Ellis. George Orwell. George Saunders. Charles Bukowski.
HeroesPhotobucket
Groups: Q-C November NovelistsCopia Martini and WineMidwest Creatives & Vigilante ArtistsIowa River Rumblethe REAL assumption groupMyspace Book ClubThe Estranged Shroud of Titivillus

View All Reality Contortionist's Groups

     Reality Contortionist's Details
Status:Single
Orientation:Straight
Hometown:Pissconsin Crapids
Body type:6' 0" / Athletic
Ethnicity:White / Caucasian
Religion:Other
Zodiac Sign:Libra
Smoke / Drink:Yes / Yes
Education:College graduate
Occupation:Writer

   Reality Contortionist's Schools
Winona State University
Winona, MN
Graduated: N/A
Student status: Alumni
Major: Journalism
Minor: Criminal Justice
 

2000 to 2004
Assumption High School
Wisc Rapids, WI
Graduated: N/A
Student status: Alumni
 

1996 to 2000

   Reality Contortionist's Networking
Publishing - Writer - Non-fiction

Publishing - Writer - Novelist


   Reality Contortionist's Companies
Rock Town Press
Quad-Cities, IL/IA US
Author

Then to Now
SkateChurch
Davenport, IA US
Volunteer

April 2006 - Present
Argus-Dispatch
Rock Island, IL US
Crime Reporter

May 2004 - Present



Reality Contortionist is considering a life of hard drugs and crime to support the habit because this whole having-a-job-thing blows

Reality Contortionist's Latest Blog Entry  [Subscribe to this Blog]

A collection of freaks and geeks  (view more)

It’s not rejection, it’s affirmation  (view more)

New Years  (view more)

Research is fun!  (view more)

Latest book  (view more)

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   Reality Contortionist's Blurbs
About me:
A skating writer by day. Drunk, emo, white trash, tragically stupid mongrel by night. I have an obsession with old man hats and blazers. I have the fashion sense of a writer, as long as the tolerance for alcohol of one too. I was born and raised Catholic. So that right there has me honestly questioning the existence of a higher power, although technically Jesus is my landlord. Some people might think I'm boring. Don't worry, I do too. Some days I just want to set a match to it all to watch it burn. Then, we'll all worship what is left. We create our saviors.
Myspace Layout Generator
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Myspace Layout Generator by TheMyspaceLayout.com

Who I'd like to meet:
People who don't suck, judge, complain endlessly, freak out over nothing, feel the need to constantly talk themselves up, and project bullshit emotions on things that don't exist. I love people who can chill and be themselves. Caring, expressive people who aren't afraid to be different. People who would rather create something or their own, rather than trying to destroy something someone else has done. Photobucket

   Reality Contortionist's Friend Space (Top 28)
Reality Contortionist has 242 friends.
 $~$~*Knuckle Deep*~$~$ 


 Shawn 


 Meenan 


 Tien 


 erik 


 patrick 


 Michael 


 dave 


 Nikolaus 


 999 PROOF 


 The Square 


 lantern80 


 Chuck Palahniuk 


 Brad 


 Sarah 


 Droid 


 chillakillathrillamilla 


 DANTE 


 Logan 


 Seth 


 Jenny 


 Pennie 


 ♥miss meme♥ 


 DIRT BABY 


 THAT KID WHO DRAWS 


 iconsmartini 


 ONE 


 SLURVE 





Reality Contortionist's Friends Comments
Displaying 50 of 486 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
~*Kuscheltier desTeufels*~





Nov 27 2008 9:39 PM

Another great story my friend.

A bit hard for me to read but I found it very amazing.

You are awesome
patrick





Nov 26 2008 3:48 AM

Pussy Pictures, Images and Photos
Icons Martini





Nov 22 2008 11:14 AM

Thank you For Being A Friend Pictures, Images and Photos
codee





Nov 3 2008 1:07 PM

I think it was. Caleb, who has had 4 of his own, says i had all the signs or whatever.

And no problem at all man it always a good time with you around.
plus you drove my broken ass home haha
Miss Mayhem ♥





Oct 30 2008 5:56 PM

you are cool. blah blah blah. that is all.

<3 me!!
erik





Oct 30 2008 5:52 AM

haha dammit im sorry i missed that comment till now. i'll see you tomorrow and i'll full cab soyale or kind grind right up your ass.
Seth





Oct 29 2008 8:27 PM

That's right... my bad.
Seth





Oct 29 2008 7:57 PM

You best get a cool photo of you dressed as the Mad Hatter. I am certainly intrigued.
Tien





Oct 24 2008 4:57 AM

hey sexy reporter, wanna hang out saturday and grab abite to eat?
Eric





Oct 23 2008 1:48 PM

hey does skate church start tonite?
♥miss meme♥





Oct 23 2008 3:11 AM

so wait. was it gross because i was kissing him or cus there was a buger in his nose..? haha.
♥miss meme♥





Oct 23 2008 2:55 AM

thanks! haha.
i got a new camera!!!
hense all the new pictures..
haha.
THAT KID WHO DRAWS





Oct 3 2008 12:56 AM

Thanks man. I'd appreciate it.
If I produce something you should come pick em up and see my new "battle station"
Pamela Briggs





Sep 29 2008 4:27 AM

Happy (belated) birthday -- and are those boom boxes on top of elephant legs?
Seth





Sep 29 2008 2:46 AM

How was the rest of your birthday night? My night was spent with some angry muscles... make me eat things besides doritos next time what kind of mom are you? :P
Lisa





Sep 28 2008 12:02 AM

Happy Birthday!! I know it's been a while, but I hope you have a great day!! Have FUN!!!
chillakillathrillamilla





Sep 27 2008 8:19 PM

happy birthday with love. How old are you now, like 30?haha jk, your going to have to graduate to the number candles because i dont think you can fit that many regular candles on a cake... but seriously you are the man and i want to have your babies... good day sir
THAT KID WHO DRAWS





Sep 27 2008 2:31 AM

Photobucket


.... too soon?
Seth





Sep 26 2008 8:40 PM

umm... yeah I guess that will work.
patrick





Sep 26 2008 5:05 PM

Seth





Sep 26 2008 2:59 AM

What time we leaving on Saturday?
erik





Sep 24 2008 5:14 PM

i gotta work till 930.
call me after that though so we can work out the details of this weekend
erik





Sep 24 2008 5:11 PM

i gotta work till 930.
call me after that though so we can work out the details of this weekend
DANTE





Sep 22 2008 8:04 PM

duh im skating rusted.
does a bear poop in the woods?
Ho-Ho-Ho Show Fri Dec 19th - FNR from Chicago