Jawsh Im having withdrawls from you! I have missed you so much You have been on my mind for the past month Where the fuck are you so U i can get inside!
Josh! what!? free? crystal castles?! crazy thin is i was supposed to go to portland tonight with some friends, but i guess we are partying in ashland instead. :/ how on earth are you going to see crystal castles?!
yeah i was all over seeing you, i still amm this is ripping me apart josh im pretty much about to cry, i just dont know what to do like i LOVE lizz, but you are soo interesting but i cant just say goodbye to liz thats not my style and gosh i wish you knew the story behind all of this.... i just feel soo awful you must feel as if i played you or led you on, and you must be feeling soo much right now, even though i honestly didnt think you cared anymore... and now that i am realizing not only that you care but exactly how much im like speachless i have never been in issues like this people always say they like me but they never mean it to such an extent, jsfgdlgj;sfhsk;hgskl i am the most unloved person ever it seemed i like lizzie for a long time then she went to canada randomly and got engaged, and when she came back things started to rekindle and i didnt want her to start her life so serious so early so i convinced her not to get married, and i used my affection and deep love for her as a great facter in getting her out of it. i mean what am i supposed to do get her out of a marriage, then be like ohh! sorry josh is in the scene, later gater, i cant do that i love lizzie...
You mentioned moving in with some one in boston, and i dunno yeah i assumed on that one too, but, idk this is so hard, because i was madly in love with you but i was so scared that i was going to get hurt by getting too serious about it, you know? Im not at all experianced with relationships and such and im oh so naive. i realize that you liked me a lot and i cant change back time, maybe we can still meet? i still want to get to know you, if thats ok
aww josh i feel like shit... what can i do about it though, like i felt like nothing could come out of us, like it could be nothing more than a fling, and im looking for something longg term, and lizzie and i's relationship is really unique. i <3 it. im so sorry josh. ugg :( :( im about to cry , i feel soo freaking awful the way all this happened is sort of crazy, and abrubt. when i tried to talk it over with you you were like unreachable.
"
