I have achieved a lot in this life. I was chosen from thousands to compete on Last Comic Standing. I was able to move out of my parents house recently. I was voted "Class Gossip" in my high school yearbook, which is total bullshit. I only got voted that because Jen's dad is a drunk and so she was pissed off at the world (not to mention she was fucking that closet homo Steve) and so she started a smear campaign against me. I won like a million gold medals swimming in the New York City CYO league in the early 80s. I won a Coney Island Classic Corn Dog Eating contest. I had two children. Well, I didn't "have" them, but I have them now. Oh, and I met Bruce Willis (the guy from the Die Hard movies). I plan on doing more cool stuff in my life and I'm positive you want to hear about it so "Stay Tuned"...
Website
andrewisfunny.com
Influences
Mostly stupidity... oh and Allah.
Members
TV Shows
Apparently not Last Comic Standing - Season 5
Films
I haven’t even been in one of my family’s home videos.
Andrew Martinez's Interests
General
Mountaineering, Painting, Film, Art, Unicorns, UFOs and Aliens, Breasts, Wines, Jesus, Car Accidents, Indians, Tickles (LOL), Cheeseburgers, Jarts, Lock Picking, Abortion, Jerry Suri, The Loch Ness Monster, Temple, Midgets, Stuff
Music
Love: The Kooks, The Cat Empire, The Shins, Led Zepplin, Incubus, The Beatles, Jay-Z, Del the funky Homosapien, Minor Threat, Weezer, Blind Melon, The Raconteurs, Bob Marley, Ween, Stevie Wonder, G Love, John Legend, The Rolling Stones, Percy Hill, System of a Down, Alice in Chains, Kanye West, Ice Cube, NWA, Public Enemy, Modest Mouse, Jimi Hendrix, Pearl Jam, The Pixies, John Coltrane, Dirt Nasty, Greg Wolfe, Olivia Martinez, Nicole Martinez, Anton Martinez ........................................................................
Hate: Any weak hip hop thug with the word "Young" in his name and T.I., fake Country especiaally anything as gay as Rascal Flatts (if that's even possible), poppy Green Day wannabes, shitty R&B, girlie crap like Gwen Stefani and Kelly Clarkson, new and old cheese metal (i.e. Nickelback and Poison), opera, electonic jazz, new age.
Movies
Enter the Dragon, The Warriors, 3 O'Clock High, Escape From New York, Almost anything about The Mafia (and Scarface), The Usual Suspects, Resevoir Dogs, Cabin Fever, Hostel, Saw, Jacob's Ladder, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Old School, Up In Smoke, Anchorman, Jackass, Taxi Driver, 12 Monkeys, Almost ALL John Hughes', Creepshow, Terminator 1 and 2, Jesus is Magic, Rocky I+II+III, Jaws, Pirates of the Caribbean, Planet of the Apes (original), Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, This is Spinal Tap, Man Bites Dog, Final Destination, Best in Show, The Aristocrats, Shrek, X-Men 1 & 2, Spiderman, Superman, Superman Returns, Brick, True Romance, Kalifornia, Hitch, Dazed and Confused, 300
Television
Arrested Development (R.I.P.), The Office, Heros, Monty Python's Flying Circus, The Young Ones, Lost, 24, HBO, The Discovery Channel, Comedy Central, THE New York Rangers, Yankees Baseball, Big Blue.
The best drama of ALL time is Six Feet Under. If you don't realize this you are a moron.
Books
I'm dyslexic and I have ADD so I pretty much hate to read except when I'm on the bowl. I read magazines. Mostly Backpacker.
I am reading "The Road". Its okay so far, but I feel good because it's an Oprah's Bookclub Book. I don't know why, but anything associated with Ms. Winfrey makes me feel good.
Heroes
Ed Viesturs, Mark Messiah, Derek Jeter, LT, Phil Simms, Mike Richter, Jan Svankmajer, Gustav Klipmt, Jimmy Carter (now), Bob Marley, Bernhard Goetz, Brody and Olivia
The University Of The Arts
Philadelphia,Pennsylvania
Graduated: N/A
Degree: None
Major: Animation
Minor: Drugs
Clubs: I left with 3 credits needed to graduate. Further proof that I am a moron.
Greek:
Eta Nu Pi
1991 to 1996
Pelham Memorial Hs
Pelham,New York
Graduated: 1991
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
Clubs: The Kickin' Ass and Being Sweet Club, The Can't Get Laid Club, Model Congress, Lacrosse, Sock N Buskin, The Calculator Few
About me:
I have been described as "Perfect" and "A good cuddler" by my priest. If I had to describe myself using one word it would be "Very smart". I love to send emails that just say "LOL" because L'ing OL is fuckin awesome. LOL. Anyway, If you want to know more about me, just read The Bible.
you're so sweet for bein my friend!!! here is a little cyber gift for you...10 FREEEEEE SONGS!!! yup!! tell ur friends too...and keep in touch ;-) click the link below.
what I want to know is there any video of you and Shang doing your thing?! Sucks I am so far from ever seeing you perform. How's it going and it is July so you are suppose to be taking a vacation....you ready for it?
Probably not, but i will try! You should send him an I'm Sorry card! :) I must admit it was a dick move to pull a no show at the wedding...but I have chosen to forgive you because it didn't really change my night! HA!
So what's the deal??? Are you gonna be at Caroline's June 20-22 or what????? I've got my calendar marked and everything, but no details yet! Let me know!!
The guy who invented these!
